Cotton Candy // L.H

2.5

You only realise you love somebody when they're in love with someone else who's not you.

Addies pov.

It's a weird feeling love. I never wanted to fall In love. Not with him. But I couldn't help it. All it took was one smile and a laugh full of happiness that I caused and I knew I was a goner.

And now, as I was drunk and not fully aware of what was going on around me I caught a sight of his blonde quiffed hair and suddenly everything was about him. In this moment I didn't care if people saw me staring, I knew it was wrong, he had the perfect girlfriend, someone so much better than me. I wanted him to be mine, but he wanted her to be his and who can blame him; who would would want me?

Damn it. Damn him and his stupid good looks and his stupid face and his stupid hair and his stupid smile.

I wanted to hate him.

I thought I was tougher than this, I didn't think I would fall this deeply into his trap. I despise the fact that I am truly madly in love with him and that I would do anything just to keep that smile upon his face. Even if it killed me.

But it's no use. He ignores me now and I look like an idiot trying to get his attention.

Have you ever wanted to cry but not been able to? Instead you just stare emotionless at the wall while you can feel your heart break. Yeah? Well that's what I did most days now. I had known him for 2 years now yet id never even  thought that all these years of hate was something completely different. Something I hadn't ever experienced.

"Hey Addieeee" Calum said slinging his arms sloppily around my shoulder causing me to spill the contents of my cup which contained a mixture of things that I didn't care about but I knew I would come tomorrow morning.

"Hey cal" I giggled at the sight of him hardly being able to walk straight.

"Do you want to play a game?"

"Sure" I said not caring what we played, it would probably be some drinking game i'd never heard of.
I followed him to where a group of people were sitting, shot glasses were in the middle of them full of vodka ready for the game.

"So basically" some guy I didn't know started to explain the game "we go round the circle-" he hiccuped cutting himself of to giggle at himself. "And you have to say the bravest things you've ever done and then we vote the bravest one and they take a shot everyone get ittt?" He asked and people just nodded probably not understanding but who the hell actually cared?

We started the game off and the first round of the circle, I was the last one to say mine and came up with a really pathetic one.

"Uh one time, I fell in love I think- I don't know I think I did" I blurted out unable to form my words.

"Okay everyone time to vote" someone said and no one cared about my answer which I guess was good.

"Jonny you won, take a shot, take one" the guy said shoving one in this Jonny guys face.

"Next round"

I zoned out for a while not listening until my name was called.

"Addie, it's your turn" calum said nudging me in the side.

"What? Oh yeah- I - un the bravest thing... I've ever done is, uh I don't know continuing my life when I wanted to die I guess, is that even brave?"I said without even processing the words in my head.

They moved on and I ended up winning that round and taking a shot. My eyes glanced to Calum in hope that he hadn't been listening to what I said but he was already staring at me in thought, confused and upset.