Cotton Candy // L.H

1.7

I still care, but I'm done showing it.

Lukes pov.

I always find myself regretting what comes out of my mouth. But it's like I have no control over it, I don't think about what I say, I just say it. I don't take into account how my words affect others, and I don't care who gets hurt at that moment in time.

But afterwards, the guilt sets in and it's too hard to handle. The only thing I can do is lock myself in my room and avoid all contact- scared that if anyone talked to me I would snap. Leading to more guilt and more regret.

We had been back at school now for exactly 35 minutes and I already needed another 2 weeks off.

Michael had driven us all to school today, I had managed to avoid talking to any of them except when saying hello as I got into the back seat of Michael car - Addie sitting less than a metre away from me like normal. But this time it was a lot more awkward than normal. She didn't look at me once whereas I kept watching her to see if she would- she was actually acting as if didn't exist.

"Luke?" the teacher said questionably.

"Sorry, could you repeat the question please?" I asked as I hadn't been listening.

"Anybody want to help mr Hemmings here out? as he seems to not have paid attention to anything I've been saying."

A few hands shot up around the class as I sighed.

"Stem cells" someone said

"Good." the teacher nodded at the student who I didn't bother to learn the name of. "Luke pay attention now, you're not still on Christmas break"

I nodded before going back to not paying attention.

I was so happy once the bell went signalling break time.

Rushing to the cafeteria where we always sat, I saw Michael and Calum already there, knowing that they had a free period first.

"Hey guys" I said sitting down beside Calum.

"Hey" they replied.

"Where's-" i started but got cut off.

"Addie? She's over there at Ashton's table, he's introducing her to his group."Calum said almost jealously.

"I wasn't going to ask about her" I huffed.

"Yes you were" Calum said

"I wasn't - you know I don't like her" I defended myself. Had she said something to them?

"Cut the bull Luke" Calum said "I know you like her, it's so obvious"

"W-what? Don't be stupid! I really don't like her, you both know that!" I said

"Oh come on Luke stop lying to us and yourself, you like Addie, that's why you don't like Ashton because she's liked Ashton for ages, it's so obvious right Michael?"

"Right. come on Luke, don't lie to us" Michael said "we're your best mates."

"I'm not lying to you, you have no idea what you're talking about!" I said starting to get annoyed as to why they couldn't just drop the subject.

"What was all that about on new year then? You got pissed when I told you Ashton had asked her out and then you went to to try and find her and missed the count down." Michael said

"What about new year? Nothing happened I didn't find her and I didn't speak to her. I hate her okay so just drop it." I said my voice turning harsher than intended.