MY hands were trembling while clutching his phone with my hands.
I'm ruined.
Hindi ko akalaing magagawa niya 'to sa 'kin. I didn't know about this!
"How . . . How could you do this to me?!" sigaw ko sa kanya habang isa-isang tumutulo ang mga luha ko.
"I should be the one asking that, Elle. How could you do this to me? Ako ang mahal mo—"
"No!" mariin kong putol sa kanya. I saw how his jaw tightened as he glared at me pero wala akong balak bawiin ang sinabi ko dahil iyon ang totoo.
I just realized the past few months na napakalaki ko palang tanga.
I was a bitch. A cheater from the start.
Mas nauna akong nagloko kay Tim. Right before I married Claus, noong mga panahong nagkakalabuan kami at si Claus ang palaging nandyan para sa 'kin, I cheated.
My heart cheated on him with Claus.
"Mahal ko si Claus, Tim," pag-amin ko sa kanya at sa sarili ko. Mabilis siyang nag-iwas ng tingin sa 'kin bago mariing ipinikit ang mga mata niya.
"That's not true. Sinasabi mo lang 'yan dahil nagui-guilty ka," aniya habang nakapikit.
Umiling ako kahit hindi niya nakikita.
"No. This is the only truth I've been running away from, Tim," umiiyak kong saad sa kanya.
The guilt he was talking about . . . It was towards him. Binalikan ko siya sa kalagitnaan ng pagkakakasal ko kay Claus dahil sa guilt na naramdaman ko sa pang-iiwan sa ereng ginawa ko sa kanya.
"It's been him, Tim. Si Claus na talaga bago pa man kami ikasal. I just keep . . . I just keep on rejecting the idea dahil iniisip ko na utang na loob lang ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Pero, Tim . . . hindi eh. Iba."
"I love him. Before the wedding at hanggang ngayon. I'm sorry kung naidamay pa kita sa pagka-denial ko, pero Tim naman . . . do you really have to go this far?" I asked as I raised his phone.
"Wala ka man lang bang ni katiting na respeto para sa 'kin? Why would you tape this?" Hinintay kong sumagot siya. Na magsalita siya. Tell me that he's going to delete this sensitive video of ours. Na dala lang ng damdamin niya ang lahat ng 'to pero . . .
"What? You want me to get rid of that?" matapang niyang tanong. Hindi makapaniwalang tingin ang ginawad ko sa kanya.
"What happened to you, Tim?"
"What happened to me? You happened!" sigaw niya at dinuro pa ako.
"That fucking bastard happened! Maayos tayo, Elle! Okay tayo! Masaya tayo! But after that bastard entered our lives, nagulo na ang lahat!"
"Tim . . ."
"You wanted me to get rid of that video?" tanong siya sa malumanay na boses. Tumango ako kahit na parang alam ko na kung ano ang susunod niyang hihilingin.
"Then get rid of your fucking husband. Ako lang dapat ang lalaki sa buhay, Elle. Ako lang," bulong niya sa may tenga ko kasabay nang sunod-sunod na pagbagsak ng luha ko.
Sasagot na sana ako nang bigla akong hablutin papalayo kay Tim. My eyes went wide when I saw Claus staring at me worriedly.
"You're trembling. Ayos ka lang?" he asked softly. Pakiramdam ko bigla akong nakahanap ng kakampi. Mas bumilis ang pagbagsakan ng mga luha ko bago ko pa man mailibing ang mukha ko sa may dibdib niya.
"What are you doing?! Let me go!" Napabaling ako kay Tim nang marinig ko ang mga sigaw niya. I saw two security guards escorting him out of the company's premises.
Mabilis akong inikot ni Claus paharap sa kanya at tinitigan nang maayos.
"What's wrong? May ginawa ba siya sayo?" he asked.
"Claus . . ." tawag ko sa basag na boses.
"Hmm?" pasensyoso niyang sagot sa 'kin habang inaayos ang nagulo kong buhok.
"Anong gagawin ko?" tanong ko sa pagitan ng mga hikbi.
"What is it? Hmm? What happened?"
"Hindi ko alam, Claus. I didn't know that he recorded it. Hindi ko alam na—" Naramdaman ko ang pagluwang ng mga braso niya na nakapulupot sa baywang ko.
"He recorded what?" he asked in a sharp tone.
"I'm sorry, babe! I'm sorry!" paulit-ulit kong hingi ng paumanhin.
I felt his body tense, muli ring humigpit ang mga braso niyang nakapalibot sa 'kin bago niya ako hinila ulit papalapit sa kanya.
"Shh . . . we'll do something about it. Akong bahala," bulong niya kahit pa ramdam ko ang galit niya sa bahagyang panginginig ng katawan niya.
I wanted to ask if he's also mad at me. I am his wife and I am now asking his help to get rid of my sex video with my ex—with the man I cheated him with. Pero natatakot ako sa isasagot niya.
Mas napa-iyak ako nang husto nang maramdaman ang takot. I felt scared even with the mere thought of him leaving me or getting tired of cleaning after my mess.
Hindi ko na ata kaya nang wala si Claus.
Humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya nang maramdaman ko ang magaan niyang mga halik sa ulo ko.
"Everything would be alright, babe," bulong niya na tinanguan ko.
I know that's true. When he said that everything would be fine, then it would be. Kasi si Claus 'to eh. He does what he promised he would. Kahit ika-ubos niya pa iyon.
"I love you," amin ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. I had to looked up a bit since I was a bit shorter, but it only made this a lot more memorable.
I was actually saving this up for a better occasion o kahit sana sa mas maayos-ayos na venue at hindi rito sa basement ng kompanya at lalong hindi pagkatapos ng gulo namin ni Tim.
But I think this is just the right moment.
"I love you, Claus," ulit ko at bahagya pang pinisil ang braso niya.
"You . . . you what?" hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong. I smiled at him before I took each side of his face with my hands and tiptoed a bit to reach his lips.
"I love you. Mahal kita, Claus," nakangiti kong amin sa kanya.
He stared at my face for a while before I felt his fingers gently erasing the traces of tears on my cheeks. He sighed heavily before a smile finally broke in as his eyes met mine once again.
"Finally, babe. Finally . .." he whispered before he pulled me back in his embrace.
YOU ARE READING
Almost Over (SP #1)
General FictionFirst Installation of Series of Pain (Formerly The Unfaithful) Samuelle "Elle" Evans is married to Claus Zco for three years already. However, she was in a relationship with her long-time boyfriend, Tim Villagracia for five years and counting. How c...
