Almost Over (SP #1)

Kabanata 22

I DIDN'T want to believe it.

My husband can't forget about me. No . . . he can't just not remember me!

Iyon ang paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko habang nakatitig sa nagtatakang ekspresyon sa mukha ni Claus habang nakatingin sa 'kin.

"Samuelle? What's wrong?" kunot ang noong tanong niya sakin.

I looked at the huge space between us. Gusto ko na lang takbuhin ang distansya namin but the puzzled expression on his face stopped me.

"Kuya, I told you. Elle lives here," singit ni Claire na nakatayo sa tabi ko.

"Is it this wife thing again, Claire? Enough with your antics, you two. I need to go to work—" Akma na siyang lalabas ng pintuan at lalampasan lang kami nang matigilan siya dahil sa paghawak ko sa braso niya.

"Ang sabi mo mahal mo ako noon pa? Sabi mo, unang beses pa lang akong pinakilala ni Claire, mahal mo na 'ko?" umiiyak kong sumbat sa kanya.

"Sabi mo—" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang dahan-dahan niyang inalis ang kamay ko sa braso niya.

"Samuelle," he called out in a warning tone. A tone that he never used to me before. Not even after he learned about my infidelity. Tapos ngayon? Ngayon kung kailan maayos na ang lahat sa pagitan naming dalawa ngayon pa 'to nangyari sa kanya?

"Claus—"

"Enough! Tama na sa mga kalokohan niyo ha? Please lang. Marami pa akong kailangang asikasuhin sa opisina," aniya bago walang lingon-lingon na nilampasan lang kami ng kapatid niya.

Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko at agad iyong napansin ni Claire na mabilis akong inalalayan paupo.

"Stop crying, Elle. Masama 'yan sa bata. Don't think of it too much muna. Maybe Kuya would come back to his senses soon," kausap ni Claire sa 'kin.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa tiyan dahil sa sinabi niya.

'I'm sorry, baby. Mommy can't help but to cry. Your dad can't remember us,' tahimik kong bulong sa anak.

I'm ten weeks pregnant. The doctor's told me na it was some sort of miracle na hindi man lang naapektuhan ang pinagbubuntis ko. I didn't even know I was pregnant before the accident happen.

"Napakawalang kwenta ko talagang asawa, Claire. You're right. I don't deserve your brother. I can't even take care of our baby at this moment!" sigaw ko habang pilit na pumipiksi sa yakap ni Claire.

"But how dare he forget about me?!" patuloy kong hagulgol.

"He shouldn't have done that! He didn't even visit me in the hospital! Claire! He told me he loved me way before! Kung totoo 'yon . . . bakit ganito siya ngayon? How could he . . . how could he forgot about me—about us?!" pahina nang pahina ang mga salita ko at tanging ang mga hagulgol ko ang naririnig sa buong bahay.

Claire silently caressed my back and stayed with me until I fell asleep.

I woke up with the familiar smell of the breakfast my husband cooks. Nagmamadali akong bumangon sa kama at agad na tumakbo papunta sa kusina and true enough.

My husband was there, cooking our breakfast just like how he usually does.

Tumakbo ako papalapit sa kanya at agad siyang niyakap mula sa likuran.

"What the—Samuelle!" galit nitong sigaw bago umikot paharap sa 'kin para tingnan ang mga kamay ko na napaso. Agad na nanubig ang mga mata ko dahil sa pinaghalong sakit na nararamdaman sa mga kamay ko at sa pagsigaw niya sa 'kin.

"Claus—"

"What the hell are you thinking?!" asik niya bago ako ginabayan paupo. He then turned off the stove and retrieved the med kit from the cupboards.

Tahimik lang akong nakatingin sa kanya habang tutok na tutok ang mga mata niya sa paggagamot sa paso ko. He keeps on mumbling things under his breath at kitang-kita ko ang iritasyon sa mukha niya.

"Claus . . ." mahina kong usal.

He sighed deeply before raising his head to look at me. Tinitigan ko nang maayos ang mga mata niya. Hoping to see the familiar spark of love from them.

But there was none.

"Why are you still here?" tanong niya na tuluyang bumasag sa puso ko.

I wonder if he felt like this before. Ganito ba ang sakit na naramdaman niya noon nang malaman niyang may iba ako? Or was it worse?

"Gumaganti ka ba sa 'kin, Claus?" tanong ko sa kanya. Wala akong sagot na nakuha kung 'di ang kunot na kunot niyang noo at naninimbang na mga tingin.

"Ito ba ang ganti mo sa lahat ng pananakit na ginawa ko noon sayo? Eto ba? Kasi Claus, hindi ko maintindihan. How can you forget about your love for me?" Inabot ko ang mga kamay niya at binalot iyon gamit ang sarili kong mga kamay.

Sandali niya lang iyong pinagtuonan ng pansin bago muling bumaling ang mga mata niya sa 'kin.

I pulled his hand over to my stomach and let him touch my still flat stomach where our baby is currently in.

"We're going to have a baby, Claus. Ngayon mo pa ba ako iiwan? We'll be a fam—"

"How can I be sure that's mine?" Nabitawan ko ang kamay niya dahil sa tanong niyang iyon. I immediately felt pained for our child.

How . . . how can he ask that?

"I found out we're actually married afterall," ani niya kasabay nang prenteng pagsandal sa may kitchen counter.

"And I also found out that you were actually with another man during our marriage. Evidence was the accident we both experienced." Claus' voice was cold and somehow menacingly. I had seen him wore this expression during his meetings but I never thought this would ever be directed to me.

"If you were fooling around with other guys while you were with me to the point of having a sex tape, dear, how could you guarantee me that, that bastard is actually my child?"

"B-bastard? Claus . . . are you hearing yourself?" hindi makapaniwala kong tanong sa kanya.

My husband smirked at me before turning his back behind me and was about to turn around to went back to his room.

"Why did you cook then?" tanong ko sa kanya.

I saw from my peripheral vision how he froze on the spot with my question. He slowly turned his head to looked at the table he had set.

He set the table for two people. Even had my hot choco on my favorite mug on the table. I saw him gently massaged his temple before he turned around without saying anything.