Loving A God - LokixReader

Chapter 20

1st person POV. (Y/N)

There are sixty-three days since the subway and compound incident, since then I've learned many things from training with Loki.
I learned how to control the pressure of water droplets I manipulate, I now can summon water from dirt, it's, of course, easier when there has newly been raining but if I focus hard enough I will find some water. Another small thing I learned to do is controlling which way, up, down, or sideways, the droplets I manipulate go, also I can control if the water is very salty or not, that's pretty much it.
I and Loki have become very close in the last few weeks, I still sleep in Loki's room, and occasionally we have sex and I sleep in his bed, it also happens if I or he feel bad or want some company. We've talked about not developing feelings and I'm kind of scared that I might, I just hope that if I will, they won't be strong.
Right now I and Loki are getting ice cream, it's to celebrate my birthday that was never celebrated, tomorrow there's gonna be a small party, or at least what Tony said you can never know with him and parties.
"And I'd like Turkish powder on top," I tell the waitress that's serving us ice cream.
"What's that?" Loki questions. I open my mouth dramatizing my shock.
"It's an amazing powder that I love and you should too."
"Here you go, " The waitress says and hands me my ice cream. She turns to Loki and he thinks for a second before ordering the same thing as I did.
"You're gonna love it!" I lick a spoonful of my ice cream.
"We'll see."
Loki gets his ice cream and we pay for ourselves, we decide to head home immediately, eating the ice cream in the car while driving home. We parked a block away so we have a small walk to walk.
"You know what it is good," Loki says.
"See, I have the best taste." I laugh.
While walking we talk but Loki goes quiet when we see the car when I look up I understand why two men dressed in Hydra outfits are walking towards us. I look to my side while Loki looks to his. There are agents also on our sides.
"Walk up to the building," Loki tells me to do, I laugh to make it seem like we didn't notice them yet. "There's an alley there, " Loki points and I nod, "You're gonna turn there and run as fast and far as you can before calling Tony and the team."
"You're coming with me."
"No, I'll stall them, you go." I grab Loki's hand, and I hug him a few steps away from the alley.
"Be careful, " I whisper into his ear.
"I'll try." He says and we pull away from each other.
We take the few steps that we need for me to turn and as I'm about to turn, I slip my fingers through his, breaking away instantly walking down the alley.
I start running after a few steps down the corridor, when I hear some shouts from the street and then some gunshot I drop my ice cream, I continue to run even though I hesitated to return to Loki. My eye spots a hiding spot, it's a small box inside the building, and besides, it is a rollable trash bin.
I get inside the built-in box and roll the trash to hide there. I take up my phone and dial Tony.
"Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up," I beg quietly.
"Hey, what's up Y/N?" Tony asks me when he picks up.
"Tony, " I whisper into the phone. "Hydra is here, I'm hiding and Loki is being attacked!"
"Where are you?"
"Tony, just track the car or something, I'm not sure."
"Okay, we're on our way, just keep on hiding and wait for us to find you," Tony speaks and while he finishes I hear footsteps in the alley. I hang up on Tony and try to back up farther from the exit and trash bin.
I try to not make any sound, but my breathing feels like it's very loud, I put my hand over my mouth trying to conceal it.
The footsteps don't even stop in my vicinity, making me feel okay again. I settle myself back into a comfortable position and start waiting for the team to arrive, help Loki, and find me.
Again I hear footsteps, I'm really uncomfortable now but I decide to not move now. I hear that there isn't just one pair of footsteps but a few.
My heartbeat starts going faster and I hold in my breath for someone to find me, hopefully, it's Tony and the team, but if it isn't my time on earth might be short-lived. There is a commotion outside my trash bin and I cross my fingers it's either the Avengers or that Hydra won't find me.
"Check everywhere, I mean everywhere!" Tony's voice speaks. I let out a breath in relief and move the trash bin out of my way to the alley.
Tony immediately notices me and before I'm on my feet he grabs my shoulders and pulls me into a hug. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I hug Tony back.
The team gathers around us and I look around them to find the girls and to find Loki. As soon as I see Nat and Wanda I hug them both, when I pull away I turn back to the team but I don't see Loki.
"Where's Loki?" I question. I look at Thor who looks at me but he doesn't say anything.
"When we got here, there weren't any Hydra agents or anything to fight, we assumed Loki went to try and find you but we're not so sure about that now," Tony explains.
"He might be further down the alley, when I was speaking to you I heard someone walk by, it could've been him," I speak rapidly trying to explain where he is.
"We don't think so," Steve tells me.
"Then what do you think?" I demand.
"We think Hydra has taken him," Thor answers me, he talks calmly but in his posture and actions, he doesn't seem calm.
I'm speechless as I don't know what to say, Loki was taken instead of me. Why?
"Come on, let's go home." Nat wraps her hand around my waist leading me in the direction of the Quinjet.
We climb onto a roof of a building where the Quinjet sits, everyone except Loki gets on board, it's wrong not having him here, it's even worse to not be looking for him.
Like always in the Quinjet the flight is smooth the whole way to our destination.
As soon as I get inside the compound I say good night and thanks to the team, I then crawl into Loki's bed, but not with him.

"Y/N!" The door to Lokis's room opens, I laid in bed for the last half an hour wondering where Loki is and how he is if he's okay or if he's being tortured.
"What?" I mumble to the person standing in the doorway. I move my head to see who it is, of course, it's Wanda.
"Tony and Bruce want us down in the lobby, " Wanda says, "Now!" She takes my hand and in my pajamas, I walk down the hallway with Wanda leading the way.
"What's happening?" I asked Wanda, she shrugged her shoulder in explanation. The rest of the walk is quiet.
But when we get to the lobby and the others back up for us to get in between them I see why we're here. Loki is back.
Loki sits on a waiting chair, the same one as I did the night I broke in, he's asleep. Why didn't he come up to his room, or you know, our room? I look around at the team seeing their reaction, they're all pretty much surprised and relieved, I am too, but I just want to cry and hug him.
Instead of starting at him as the others do, I slowly walk to Loki, I crouch down by him and put my hand on his arm. "Loki, " I whisper.
He doesn't even shift, so I raise my voice. "Loki, wake up." I shake him carefully.
Thor comes to my side and I move away so he can try and wake up his brother. "Loki!" Thor shouts at him and shakes him unpleasantly.
Loki jumped up as his eyes flung open, he looks around confused, his eyes don't even stop on me to acknowledge me. Maybe he thought he was still with Hydra?
"Hey, Loki, are you okay, did anything happen to you?" I softly ask him while I kneel back down.
"Wha- who- I- uh- where am I?" Loki asked. I look at Thor who looked stunned.
"What do you mean where are you? You are home, in the Avengers compound." Thor tries to tell Loki, but he shakes his head.
"Who are you?" Loki asks the whole team.
"Loki, this isn't funny." I try and get Loki to stop playing his prank but no luck comes as he continues to ask us who we are, where he is, and even who he is.
"We'll talk to him, " Tony says, indicating that he, Steve, and Thor are only going to talk to him. Maybe if they knew how our relationship was I'd also get to be there, but before I can say anything or just think about it I'm being pushed away towards the stairs.
Without thinking I'm following the flow of the other Avengers to the living room. I then immediately go to the bar and make myself a drink, what kind of sick joke is Loki trying to play? I sit down on the couch signing and sipping on my drink.
"What's up with you?" Bucky questions me.
"Nothing, what why?" I ask back.
"Your sighing gave away that something is bothering you but if you don't want to talk about it we don't have to."
"Don't worry about me, " I pause. "What do you think has happened to Loki?" I then ask the group that sits around the coffee table.
"I'm worried Hydra has brainwashed him," Bucky admits, I nod.
"We shouldn't jump to conclusions, maybe he just hit his head really bad and we'll have him in no time," Nat suggests. Even though it's unlikely it's possible.
We chat and soon enough Thor joins us in the living room, and he doesn't look happy.
"Hey, what's up? What happened?" I ask, hoping he's mad at Loki for playing some prank. But what comes out of Thor's mouth doesn't relieve me.
"Hydra has erased his memory!" Thor spits out.
"What?" I in shock mumble.
"Wait, brainwashed or erased?" Bucky dares to ask.
"When I say erased I mean erased!" Thor starts to pace the floor.
"Whoa, Thor sit down, you need to take a breath," Rhodey says.
"I am not going to sit down when someone has taken my brother's mind away from him!" Thor yells at the whole team, I'm not really listening, I'm in shock, he's not going to remember any of the nights we spent together, having sex and just talking.
All of our friendship has simply dissolved from one mind, but stuck in the other. How can I talk to him without making some inside joke he's supposed to get, but never will. Fuck, I can't cry, I cannot break. Especially in front of the team. I have to go, I need some space right now.
I hurry up to Loki's room without excusing myself from the group. As soon as I'm alone I feel fatigue and sadness overtake me and I lay on my mattress wanting to rest my eyes.
I wake up again when the door to Loki's room is opened, Tony stands in the hallway with him but leaves immediately. Loki doesn't notice me so after he closes his door I stand up and hug him, having forgotten that he doesn't remember me. Loki doesn't react to my hug other than in confusion, he pushes me away and looks at me, I have tears in my eyes.
Shit, fuck, I walk out of his room and into the bathroom, where I beging to break. I need to ask Wanda to help me move my mattress back to my room.