.... September 1st.
It was a few days before school started again, and I had been feeling really unwell for the past 3 weeks or so.
I had been throwing up every single morning without a fail.
My mouth tasted like metal, so I was always spitting, it's was so gross.
And I’d been craving candy floss. Which is weird, because before I’d been sick, I wouldn’t have eaten candy floss if it was the last thing on the planet.
But, I had a doctors appointment in a half hour, so hopefully they’d sort this out.
I strolled sluggishly down the stairs, before raiding the cupboards for sweet tea biscuits and crackers. Then I sat at the table to put my white trainers.
“Hey Rye, have you seen my last tub of candy floss?”
“Oh yeah, I sorta ate it last night.” I said, twirling my finger in my hair.
“RYE!!! I’ve been looking forward to that.”
“Sorry.” I said, as I grabbed my house keys.
“And since when do you like candy floss? You’ve hated it forever.”
“Apparently, this sickness makes me want to eat candy floss.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not keen on it either.”
“Well you need to get better soon, cos I can’t have you eating all my snacks. I have a movie marathon of....”
“Avengers with Eijai and Eli, yes I KNOW.” “You’ve been telling us for three days straight ; I’ll try not to eat your snacks.”
“Good. “
“Are you done lecturing me now? I have a doctors appointment to get to.”
“For now.” He made the -I got my eyes on you- gesture before slumping back on the couch.
“Bye Keign.” I groaned. Then I left the house.
When I got to the doctors, it was almost completely empty, which was good, because it meant I wouldn’t be there too long.
I sat in the waiting area and waited (very impatiently) to be called up.
After a very long 20 minutes and about 3 toilet trips, I finally got called from the desk.
“Rye Parker, to room 130 please.”
In the room, Dr Lyne was waiting for me. She’s our family GP, we’ve had her for as long as I can remember.
“Hello, Rye. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“So tell me, what’s going on?”
“So... , for the past 3 weeks, I have been throwing up in the mornings and have had this constant horrible taste in my mouth, it kinda tastes like metal.”
“I see.” She clickerty-clacked on her computer keyboard.
“Ok, when was the last time you had your period?”
“Um, I can’t remember, why?”
“Ok, I don’t want to alarm you Rye, but you could be pregnant.”
As soon as I heard that word, my heart plummeted at least six feet under the ground. I felt like bursting into tears.
“Have you been active?” She asked.
I can’t be pregnant! That’s completely insane! I’ve probably got like a stomach bug or something. We had only done it three times throughout the summer but he always wore protection. At least, I hope he did.
“Yeah.” I managed to admit.
“I’m going to need you to take a test for me sweetheart, if that’s ok.” She searched through the top drawer.
“Here, go to the toilet and then come straight back.” Dr Lyne handed me the test.
And I took it.
“Don’t worry yet Hun, It could be something else, but we need to be 100% sure.”
“Thanks.” I said, leaving the room.
I got to the toilet and did the thing.
The anticipation was almost painful, while I waited for it to process. My heart sped up, beating faster and faster. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Against my ribs, as I paced around the toilet for the two minutes.
When the time was up, I stood in front of the mirror next to the pregnancy test on the sink, staring at my reflection. I couldn’t even look at it I was too scared.
I picked it up my hands shaking so much I couldn’t hold it still. I looked down and saw a two very clear red lines.
Two red lines.
TWO!
Instantly, my legs gave way and I fell to the floor.
The walls felt as they were caving in on me.
Silent tears trickled down my cheeks. It felt like my life had shattered into a million pieces.
I’m pregnant.
I’m seventeen and I’m pregnant.
I must have blacked out because the next thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital bed with my dad by my side.
“Oh, you’re awake.” Dad said, looking up from his newspaper.
“What am I doing here, dad?” I had a hospital gown on and a heart monitor.
“You fainted in the doctors, so Dr Lyne called an ambulance.” Dad reached over and squeezed my hand.
“Oh.”
At the mention of Dr Lyne’s name, she walked into the room carrying a notepad, a few papers and something in a black plastic bag.
“Rye, how are you feeling?”
“Better.”
“Good, may I have a quick chat with you?”
I nodded.
“Dad, can you leave us alone for a second please?”
“Oh sure, I’ll just be outside.” He gathered his coffee and newspaper then left the room.
“So, Rye, when I found you in the bathroom, I saw the test and I made sure not to tell your dad yet.” She handed me the small black bag, which I realised, contained the positive pregnancy test.
“Thank you.” I breathed a sign of relief.
“But the doctors here do know, and they would like me to ask you if you want to know how far along you are?”
“Yeah ok.” I whisper.
“The test showed a very clear positive pregnancy, we are thinking you’re around three months now.”
“Oh.” It felt like a punch straight in the stomach.
How did I not know earlier?!
“They don’t know for sure because they haven’t done a scan but its a rough estimate.”
I nodded.
“I know this must be a lot to take in, but you need to decide whether you want to keep it.”
I didn’t say a word. I just laid down and stared up at the ceiling. I think I was in shock. There was a baby inside me and its been there for 3 months. Louis and I were two seventeen year olds in Sixth-form. Louis had no Job and I only worked when there was a lack of staff, I didn’t even get paid that much. We couldn’t have a baby. We weren’t even legally adults yet and our parents. MY PARENTS! Oh, they're gonna freak out.
Dr Lyne walked over to the bed and tapped my leg gently. “You don’t have to decide whether you want to keep it now, but sooner rather than later.”
The room was completely silent as she waited for me to speak. I still said nothing.
“I’ve made you a scan appointment for 2 days from now, but you can go whenever you feel better. I’ll leave you to think this through.” She let herself out, while letting my dad back in.
“Thank you, for all your help Dr Lyne.” Dad shook her hand, respectively.
“No problem, Mr Parker.”
Dad shut the door then sat on the edge of the bed.
“The nurse says you’re all good, so we can go home.”
“Are you ok Rye? you look sort of dazed.” Dad asked, turning my cheek to face him.
“Yeah dad, I’m fine, just tired.” I lied.
“Let's go home then.”
I got changed out of my hospital gown and back into my regular clothes. Then dad signed me out and drove us home.
When we reached our road, the sun was already setting on the horizon. We walked up the front lawn and dad took his long chain of keys out of his trouser pocket. He hesitated, the keys lingering near the lock.
“Your mum and brother have been worried all day, so don’t be surprised if they smother you with love.” He said, with a small smile.
“Ok.” I said, smiling for the first time that evening.
Dad was right. As he opened the door, Keign came charging at me full force, almost knocking me over with his hug.
“Whoa!” I said, slowly relaxing into his hug.
“Don’t you EVER do that again Rye! I was so worried.”
“I just fainted.”
“I know.” He let me go and composed himself.
“I was just, you know... feeling the twin thing.”
“Oh, I love you too.” I cooed, kissing him on the cheek.
“Eww!, Eww! I don’t want what you got.” He vigorously rubbed his cheek.
Even when my world is crashing down, I can always count on Keign to bring me back to normality.
“Honey.” Mum kissed me on my forehead.
“I’m so glad you're okay.”
“Are you hungry? I made your favourite.”
“Home made lasagne.” Mum said, walking over to the kitchen.
“I am now.” I walked over to the sofa and snuggled in to a fluffy blanket.
“Good, I’ll bring you over a plate.”
Yes! The Sick kid treatment. Mum never ever let ANYONE eat on the sofa.
As if reading my mind, Keign looked up from his phone and glared at me.
I stuck my tongue out at him, smirking.
The TV was playing EastEnders in the background, it was a very intense episode, I had missed some of it, but it was still intriguing. I was so engrossed in watching it , that I didn’t notice mum placing my tray of food on the coffee table.
Keign switched the channel to get my attention.
“Hey!” I yelled.
“Your food.” He pointed to the little table in front of me.
“Oh, thanks.” I pulled the tray onto my lap and took a bite.
It tasted so good, it was my favourite, but obviously the baby didn’t agree because, as soon as I finished my plate, I felt nauseous.
It still hadn’t sunk in yet. I’m pregnant. There’s a little human growing inside me. No one knows yet and sooner or later I’ll have to tell my parents. I don’t know about other cultures, but black Caribbean parents didn’t take to well when it came to reckless teenage situations or just bad behaviour in general. And I should know, because I spent most of my life getting told off for the mischief I made.
I got up to place my dish in the sink and grabbed a bottle of water. I had to chug my water to hold the sick down.
“Thanks for the food mum but I’m feeling really tired so I think I’m going to have an early night.”
“Ok sweetheart, you get some rest.”
“Night everyone.” I said, on the way up the stairs.
“Night!” They all chorused.
I hurried up the stairs, but when I got to the top, suddenly I couldn't hold it in anymore. I ran to the bathroom and it all came back up. All of it: the lasagne, the water and even the biscuits and crackers from this morning.
“I thought I digested you already.” I said, to the mushy crackers.
I flushed the toilet and splashed my face with tap water.
“Come on little one,” I said, rubbing my belly. “Don’t you like anything I eat?”
“Just Keign's candy floss, huh?” I smiled down at my belly.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed a silhouette of someone standing in the door frame.
“YOU’RE PREGNANT, RYE!!” Keign said, angrily.
“Shut up!” I whispered, loudly.
I listened out to see if mum and dad heard, then pulled Keign in and locked the door.
“Shit! you scared me.” I said, holding my chest.
“You should be Fucking scared.”
“Rye are you out of your mind?! Mum and dad are going freak out.” Keign said, shaking my shoulders.
I shoved him off of me and he slammed against the bathroom door.
“Don’t you think I know that already!”
“How far along are you?”
I said, nothing and fiddled with the string of my hoodie staring at the black and white tiles on the floor.
“1 month?” He guessed.
“2 months?!”
“God, Keign it's 3 months ok!”
“I just found out today, can you calm down?”
“Too much stress is bad for the baby.”
“Okay, okay.” he took deep breaths. I was starting to wonder who the pregnant one was around here.
“Can we talk anywhere but here? It smells like puke.”
“Fine, my room, since I have a lock.” Keign opened the door, and led the way to his bedroom.
“Ok.” I said.
Once we were in the bedroom, Keign locked his door and paced back and forth. I sat on his bed staring at the clock in the corner of the room. It was only 6 o’clock.
“Does anyone else know?” he asked. He was a lot calmer now.
“No. I wasn’t planning on anyone knowing yet, until this happened.” I gestured between us.
“You weren’t going to tell me?” He said, sounding hurt.
“Do you blame me? I knew you’d freak out like this!”
“That’s fair, I guess.” He sat down on his spinny chair, frantically bouncing his leg up and down.
“We need to tell mum and dad though.”
“No! I can’t tell them yet, I’m not ready.”
“Rye, they need to know.”
“Keign please don’t tell them, I need to figure this out first. I’m still processing it.” I begged.
“OK, okay, I won’t tell. Only if you tell ME who the father is.”
I took in a deep breath, falling back on his pillow.
“Louis.” I whispered
“Louis Jayson.”
YOU ARE READING
A different feeling
RomanceRye is well known in Camdon town for being a bit of a trouble maker. Her highschool years were full of consistent detentions and phone calls home for bad behaviour. She had always been the one to cause trouble ever since she was a little kid but pra...
