Libido.

🌸C H A P T E R 21

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"So Adam, what made you have this panic attack?" Adrian said, sipping on his wine. 

Adrian came to pick me up from the dorm, it was almost as if his mannerisms and ways of trying to get me up and out of my room were all too natural and familiar. Like when I was little, he kindly asked me to get up from my bed and get dressed. He waited patiently for me to come out and get out of being cooped up in the house. Now that I was ready, he took me to a nearby restaurant where he teated me to dinner. 

"To be honest, I lost my scholarship." I simply said. His expression changed slowly. 

"Oh that's very unfortunate to hear...what about your other scholarships? I'm sure your advisor can help you with something." He said in a somber tone. 

"The crazy part about it is my other scholarships disappeared. Like the money is gone. I'm not sure why, it's like someone wiped away all of my money that was raised for me to use for schooling." I said. I started to focus at one of the buttons on his shirt. The thoughts of me having to go back home started to resurface and I tried my hardest to suppress my very loud and damaging thoughts. 

"What do you plan to do?" He asked, inching forward. I kind of shifted my weight backwards. He pursed his lips and retreated backwards. 

"I don't know for sure. I'm going to talk to my advisor and see what can be done, you know what? Come to think of it, it might have been because of my grades and not going to classes seriously." I said sipping my wine. 

"Well yes that could contribute to that," Adrian said with a small chuckle. "But were you put on academic probation?" 

"Well yeah, I just didn't think that they would go through with it." I said with a hint of embarrassment. Talking about where I messed up in all of this is very embarrassing but I should have seen this coming. 

"My main concern is what I am going to do, its too late to do anything in regards to getting the dept paid off, there's so much money that needs to be paid for. I'm scared, the thought of having to go back home.." I shuddered. 

"You are not going back home Adam." Adrian said with a stern look on his face. I think he could sense another panic attack, my chest was tightening as I was stating those words. 

"How do you do that..." I whispered. He stared at me with the most somber look on his face. 

"Do what..." Adrian says in a low tone. 

"Still have so much control over me...after all these years." I say without breaking eye contact. 

"I just know you so well." He replies with a slight smirk. 

"Okay, one thing we're not gonna do is that, I am not the small and timid Adam that you used to know. Don't get that shit twisted Adrian. Let me remind you who caught who that night." I snapped. His smile kind of faded, and shrugged in fairness. 

"I'll let you have that one Adam, but let's not forget I am your first love." He simply said. "You wouldn't be the man you are now without me." 

It took everything in me to not swing over the table, but I refrained from doing so. "Fine." 

"What if I told you, I can help you come up with the money. Just give me a few weeks." He says, flashing his amber colored eyes at me. 

He's still fine, fuck man.

"You're seriously testing it Adrian, step down." I growled. He shot a sneaky smile. 

"Do you want it or not Adam, I can get you back in. All you got to do is say yes." Adrian says, leaning in again slowly. 

"....deal." 

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"So are we all going home for Christmas, because low key I want to take a trip to some place tropical!" I blurted out. 

"I mean I can see if my folks are cool with me being gone, over Christmas break!" Celina said laughing. 

"Yeah Ezra, we all can't just up and leave like that-" Tally said before I cut her off.

"Done and done. I already called ahead to your parents to get you to come!" I said with a big smile. 

They both smile at me slowly as I do a happy dance. I want to get away from this city, let alone this country for at least a week and a half. 

"Damn you Ezra! Literally being so close to our families more than us!" Celina said. 

"What can I say, I have friends to spoil and bring along in my crazy ass life!" I said with a smirk. 

"How are you going to convince Adam to go with you?" Tally said. 

"That's gonna be easy, it'll be fine..." I said, wiping her words away. 

We'll see about that.