21
Eventually, they both skipped dessert. Not even tiramisu looked promising enough to tempt them to give up on taste that they recently acquired.
Sivaangi has experienced all kinds of tension with Ashwin, but what they have between them currently is the one that is physically draining to the point of making her legs jelly. If they had not reached the car fast enough, she would have felt giddy.
It only took them ten minutes to leave the hotel after their dance and what followed. In the meanwhile, Sivaangi didn't even meet Ashwin's eyes. The first time she felt this coy with him was in the sets of their show. At that time, she was not very aware of the signals her body sent her, but this time she is not only aware, but the signals have multiplied making her whole body burn.
Why does his luxury car suddenly feels very small?
Shivangi felt like she had adrenaline of someone who ran a marathon and was overcome sudden urge to check her lips in the mirror. Would something have changed?
Ashwin cleared his throat while still keeping his eyes straight on the road. Shivangi trained her eyes on him pretending to set her curls. He looked composed on the outside, but she was sure he was as affected as her. It was unlike him to not play any music and drive in silence.
"Ellam okay illa?" he asked out of nowhere still not looking at her
(Are you okay?)
"Hmm." She hummed as her fingers on own accord rubbed her lower lips.
Shivangi was thankful when they finally reached her house. Distance from him and alone time with her thoughts seemed like what she needed now.
"Bye!" Shivangi announced and was about to leave the car, when Ashwin stopped her.
"Oru nimisham" he said. "Naan oru mukkiyamana vishayam kekanum."
(One minute. I want to discuss something important)
Shivangi closed the half open door and turned to look at him. His eyes were soft like they usually are, but was also present in them an emotion that she is not familiar with.
"Namba rendu perukum pudichu daana nandandhudhu? No regrets right?"
(I know it happened with our consent. No regrets right?)
Shivangi frowned. Is this what bothering him? Did he think she regrets it? Is that why he was silent?
Why would he think she regrets one of the most beautiful thing that has happened to her?
"Idhu namba magi. Epdi regret panna mudiyum?" she asked batting her innocent eyes
(It is our magic, how will I regret?)
Ashwin sighed. He knew this is how she felt, but still it is always better to hear it in her words.
"Shivangi ma..." he drawled after a pause. "Naan appo paatha oru chinna ponnu illa nee. Neraya valanduta, neraya purinjukitta. Neeye sonna namba ippo equals nu. So, enaku endha guilt um illa idhu keka. I know adhu namba mutual ah decide panna oru moment, irundalum nee dan initiate pannanum nu naan nenachen. You know, eppavum choice unn kitta iruka dan naan virumbuven, but ellavatiyum ennala unn kitta permission keka mudiyadhu. I sometimes want to do it, when I feel like doing it. Natural ah. Of course, unakum adhu applicable. En mela nee full urimai eduthakalam. Naan idhu dan kadaisi ya kekaren. We are into this together right?"
(Shivangi.... You are not the same child woman I met years ago. You have grown up, you know better. As you said, we are equals now. So, I have no guilt in asking this. I know that moment happened because of mutual decision, but I wanted you to initiate. You know, I always want the choice to be yours, but I can't keep asking your permission every time. I sometimes want to do it, when I feel like doing it. Organically. Of course, it is applicable to you too. You have full rights on me. I am asking you this for last time. We are into this together right?)
