Audrey Del Rosso

22 | I Want You

⌜ Audrey Garcia ⌟

I've been on the ground crying for a few minutes. Result of doing so? I now have puffy red eyes and I'm pretty sure I lost my voice. Do I want to speak and find out? I'm too mentally exhausted to care.

I should get out, take a breather.

Inhaling a deep breath, I get up from the ground and make my way up to Carlos' room. As I reach out to open my side of the closet, I quickly change my mind and grab a hoodie from Carlos' closet instead. I bring the sleeves up to my face and sniff in his scent left on the fabric. It's not as strong as before, considering its been so long and the scent was about to wear off soon, but it's still there. And it's still bringing me to ease, never fails to do so.

After quickly putting on my shoes, I sit back down on Carlos' bed. The silence in this room is sickening. This house has never been so quiet. The slight silence was baring when Viola was here, but now that she is gone and Carlos' parents are in Italy it's just me in this huge quiet house.

Viola used to leave and spend nights at Nolan's new apartment, those were the days I hated the most. With no one at all to make any sort of communication with, I almost lost my mind. On those days especially, I was at my lowest, because when you're all alone and trapped between four walls for days, you always going to end up having nothing to do. For me, having nothing to do leads to thinking, thinking leads to Carlos and Carlos isn't here. So what does that lead to? Me crying for hours until I eventually end up crying myself to sleep.

It wasn't always like that, though. I met Axel and things started to get better, I had someone to occupy me, save me from my dark thoughts. From my "what if he doesn't wake up". To save me from spending days locked up in Carlos' room and crying into his pillow. Or from locking myself in my father's office, sobbing as I run my fingers over our family pictures.

But now Axel and Viola are gone.

I need to get out of here.

If I stay in here of a second more, I'm gonna break down into tears. Quickly, I get up, leave Carlos' room then leave the house next. I don't take a car, instead I decide to walk. Barely a five minute walk away from here there is a cliff that has a view to the entire city. Before my old house got burnt down, I used to go to that place whenever I needed alone time. It was  about 10 minutes away from my house and I discovered the location when I was 15.

As I'm walking out of the house, not so far away I see a bouquet of lotuses thrown on the ground. I frown and run up to them and pick up the bouquet. Such gorgeous flowers shouldn't be discarded on the road.

I look around to see if there is anyone near, someone who could've possible dropped them, but no one is here. I check for a card and find one inside the bouquet, I decide to read the note.

"I wanted to bring you the most beautiful flower I could find, a flower so beautiful to match your enchanting beauty. But no flower could ever be close to a fraction of your beauty. I got you the prettiest flower I could find, I hope you love them as much as I love you."

That was such a sweet message, and I feel bad for the person who was gonna receive them because now they will never get this message along with the flowers. I decide to put the bouquet back down, but this time on the side walk rather than the middle of the street, incase whoever bought them comes back looking. I pick out one flower though, wanting to keep one of these lotuses, and I put the flower behind my ear before continuing my walk.