It Has Always Been You (Sonadow)

Chapter 9 - Confusing Feelings [Sonic / Knuckles POV]

[SONIC]

Oh my god I've really fucked up.

Shadow hates me.

Shit!

He looked so angry. I could tell from the way he was holding his body that he must have been in a lot of pain. It was strange to see such a powerful creature look so fragile. Saying that, we all have our dark days. I know everyone struggles but I never imagined Shadow would try to kill himself. He really hides his emotions well.

I couldn't stop staring at him. Something in me had shifted overnight and I don't know why but it felt like something was pulling my soul to his. I shook my head and tried to push away my thoughts. This is ridiculous! I need to stop this now. I've already embarrassed myself by crossing a line last night. I got carried away. But when I was holding him it felt like we were the only two people in the entire universe. Actually, it almost felt like we were one person in two seperate bodies... It's hard to explain. Desire ran through my blood and it felt incredible, like a charge of energy that competed every cell in my body. 

What are these feelings... and why with Shadow?!

Even more confusing is the sexual attraction I felt towards him. My whole body was tingling and I wanted him so bad. I'm still so charged up. I need a cold shower...

Shadow caught me staring at him and flashed his pointy fangs at me in anger. I looked away as quickly and my face went bright red. How am I gonna get myself out of this one?

Knuckles showed him the berries that we found next to him. He took one look at them and froze, his eyes widened and his pupils nearly disappeared. He then completely zoned out for a few minutes as if in a trance.

"Hey Shadow, you ok there honey?" Rouge said gently.

Shadow broke his gaze and shook his head slowly. He then put his face in his hands and started... sobbing. Fuck, I've never seen shadow show any emotion other than anger, let alone cry!

Knuckles, Rouge and I exchanged confused glances. Rouge moved closer to Shadow and embraced him in a huge hug. He leant in to her shoulder and broke down into floods of tears and his sobs turned into lurid wails. The two remained in that position until there were no more tears left to cry.

I wished I were the one holding him.

"Buddy, you seem seriously depressed," Knuckles said. "What's been going on?"

Shadow looked up from Rouge's shoulder and glared at him.

"There's no purpose for me to be here any longer," he said chillingly. His cold tone of voice sent shivers down my spine.

"What do you mean there's no purpose?" Knuckles pressed for more information.

"Before we were all fighting Eggman, saving lives and helping the planet. Now we have completed our mission, we are no longer needed here," Shadow replied, his voice full of gloom.

I get it. Not having a clear purpose in life creates depression. But there's no need to drag us all into this.

"Hey man, I don't really appreciate you using the word 'we' here." I chipped in. "I personally feel like I have a lot of purpose. Your life can have more than one mission you know?"

Shadow's ruby red eyes shot up to meet mine and glistened with rage. They were bloodshot from al the crying he had done and all that red made him look even more disturbed.

"And I don't appreciate people touching me without my permission!" he growled at me in a low voice not letting me break eye contact with him. Yikes! I can't believe he just said that in front of everyone! I just stood there. I had nothing to come back at him with. Rouge and Knuckles both shot glances my way. I felt so embarrassed.