And Action [jenvid.]

Eight: Paparazzi, Playbills, and Dinner?

No one ever realistically depicts the aftermath of a breakup. Everyone will tell you different things because not one relationship is the same as another. Yes, there might be similar starts with similar endings. However, the cause of a breakup and the lead up to one are both different. This is what is happening to David and Christina. The tears are no longer there but both adults are now just sitting on the couch of their apartment. Silence filling the space between them. Eyes red. Both wanting to speak but no words seem to come out of their mouths.

David hoping, he can read Christina's mind in this point in time. Christina hoping that the last hour or so did not happen. So many what ifs in a relationship of multiple trials and errors. A relationship full of nothing but trying to meet in the middle. The middle that was never discussed.

"So is this really it for us then David." Christina spoke barely a whisper.

"I owe it to you to be honest Chris. That is what you deserve." He answered his eyes darting to his hands. "But I have never cheated on you. I want to make that clear."

"Not physically. Emotionally? You have." She looked up at him staring at the side of his face while David still couldn't meet her eyes. "I knew it David, I've always known."

"This isn't about Jen." David replied firmly.

"I know. This is about us, you and me, right? You and me in New York is completely different than you and me in Los Angeles. If you're being honest, it's my turn to be honest. The eyes David, your eyes and hers? They don't lie." A silent tear falling down on her face once more. This time a different feeling overcame her. "This is about us, but it was never just us. It was her. I was fighting with her for you. Not physically like I said... But for some sort of emotional capacity in your heart."

"I loved you." David shook his head. "I don't even know why I'm trying to explain myself here, especially now."

"David I'm being honest with you just like how I hope you will be with me right now. We owe it to each other at the very least. I don't want to hate you, I love you." She whispered the last three words to herself, but David still heard them. "I apologize for accusing you out of nowhere, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Yes, I'll admit it I saw the end of the relationship which is why I had been trying to grab on for some sort of hope. Some sort of love, but it's too late. Which I hate that it is. My efforts should have been made earlier but who's to say that would make a difference when your heart is elsewhere."

Honesty was what was missing from their relationship. Honesty to each other and to themselves. One that didn't know the depth of his feelings for another. One that wanted to ignore what she saw in hopes that things will change.

"You mentioned emotionally." Christina nodded but David wouldn't have noticed because he was still looking at anything else but her. "I did say I love you, and I meant it."

"I'm not questioning your love for me. I'm not saying I didn't have my own faults in this relationship. That is clear, I didn't try until I noticed things going wrong. I had known things had been going wrong for months but was too naïve to believe anything of it. I know your feelings were true, I felt that. But there was always something whenever I see you with her, with Jennifer. You never looked at me like that or smiled at me like that. Most recently I started to see it more. Before I left for New York recently I noticed it. That was a reason for leaving. It was a cowardly thing to do instead of confronting you but something in me felt like you would have just denied it. The moment I got back I made a promise to myself that I would try and pretend that what I had been noticing was nothing. Funny how when I told that to myself was when I would notice everything even more. You meant it when you said you loved me. You also have that same feeling in the way that you look at her. That's what I mean when I say emotionally. You were with me physically, but with her emotionally."