BSD ~ Soukoku ~ High school AU

26

Akutagawa was starting in the direction where Atsushi left. Something inside of his chest was aching, as if his heart just fell apart into million pieces. ,.Wait!" He wanted to scream, to make him turn around, but his voice broke. ,,What have I done?" The dark haired boy whispered, more to himself than to the others.

Normally he didn't care if he made somebody uncomfortable or hurt someone. He sometimes even had fun of that. But this was not the case. The pain inside of his chest wasn't stopping, actually it was getting even worse. ,,I think you just broke his heart." Ranpo said an obvious fact. The words felt like reopening Akutagawa's wounds that didn't even have time to start healing. Hearing this made him realise what he just did even more.

,,You should go talk to him." His sister spoke quietly. ,,But what should I say?" Akutagawa kept falling deeper into despair. This all felt hopeless to him as if there was no going back. He felt like he ruined something way too precious to be lost. ,,Try to comfort him. Explain him the situation, tell him that you didn't mean to hurt him." Higuchi tried to help as well. It didn't really make him feel like he knows what he's doing now, but he knew he has to at least give it a try. He stood up and went directly to a room where he and Atsushi slept. He took a deep breath and...

~~~

Atsushi was now just sitting on his bed, crying. It felt like he ruined everything. Akutagawa did act as if he hated the white haired one pretty much, but until now there was a chance to fix things. Maybe if he made Akutagawa think he's cool and strong. But now he'll never see him that way. Now he'll only see him as the crybaby who can't control his own feelings.

All of sudden he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head, but when his eyes met with Akutagawa's grey ones, he immediately tried to hide his face in his hands so the other won't see him crying. ,,I'm sorry." He whispered quietly. ,,I swear I'll get rid of these feelings as soon as I can." He could barely talk as he was sobbing, yet still he kept on hopelessly trying to look and sound strong.

,,I am the one who should apologise." Said Akutagawa with his calm voice, but this time it wasn't emotionless at all. ,,I didn't know you felt this way. I didn't mean to do this." He took Atsushi's face and made him look into his eyes. When Atsushi's eyes met the grey ones, he saw so much pain in them. He just couldn't take seeing the other one like that. He turned away a little forcefully.

,,Atsushi. I really am sorry. Can you please calm down a little? I know you must hate me now, but seeing you like this really makes me in pain." The white haired boy lifted is head to look at Akutagawa once again. ,,In pain?" He asked, unsure what exactly the other meant. Akutagawa just nodded. ,,Every time I see you or talk to you, I have this weird feeling in my chest. It feels like the chest is too tight for my heart to fit in there. But when I see you like this, it feels like my heart is shattered into pieces. I don't understand this feeling, but it hurts me." Akutagawa said with the softest voice Atsushi ever heard from him.

Atsushi's eyes widened a little. The feeling Akutagawa just described was too familiar. No way. This can't be true. But maybe he's misunderstanding it. It may not mean what he thinks it means at all. That's probably gonna be the case.

,,Akutagawa." He said, searching for the right words. ,,I have the feeling that you just describe whenever I'm with you, too." He said after all, waiting for the other's reaction. ,,Should it mean that I have feelings for you?" Akutagawa gave him a questionable look. ,,I don't know. What do you think?" Was the only answer he got. ,,I don't know either. This all is way too new for me, I can't really say what it means." Akutagawa said, already getting lost in his thoughts.

What if he really likes Atsushi? Is that even possible? But what if he doesn't? Even though they do fight all the time, he didn't want to break the other one's heart even more by giving him false hopes.

,,Akutagawa." Atsushi tore him out of his thoughts again. ,,It's allright. You don't have to have everything figured out already." He gave him a supportive smile. ,,I'll give you as much time as you need."

Now it was Akutagawa's eyes which were tearing up. Just few minutes ago, Atsushi was crying from heartbreak. But now he was giving support and comfort to the person who made him cry. It made Akutagawa just realise how strong the other actually is. He couldn't hold it and hugged the other. ,,Thank you." He whispered.

,,You know, I don't even need us to be in a relationship, just being with you and the fact that u care makes me happy" Atsushi smiled, even though the other one couldn't see it.