Roly Poly

Hi Everyone

I'm going to jump right into it. I have grown up soooo much since I've first started writing this story. I believe I was 15 when I started and back then, I loved wattpad so much. It was such a getaway for me. It was an escape for me. I could read and read for hours no problem and still not want to stop when I needed to.

I could read about romance and imagine that could be me someday, even though I didn't truly believe that myself. I was a dark skin, fat, black girl, who was a hopeless romantic and had to read about love stories because no one wanted to have one with me. Which is why it was so easy for me to write. I had all these fantasies in my head that wanted to come out. And they did, easily at that!

But then I started to grow up. When I turned 16 I had my first romantic experience and realized the real world is wayyy different than in my head. There are so many foul and disgusting people in this world. So many foul and disgusting guys in this world who will ever only want you for one thing, sex. At 16 I was pretty heavy, my friends called me thick to be nice, but I was a little heavier than thick. I had a crush on this guy, he was a senior, I was a junior, and he was super cute. He would hug me, flirt with me, kiss my cheek, touch my butt, hold my hand. You know, all the cutesy stuff. But there would be times when he would totally blank me. He would completely ignore me. In person at that. He would get around a different crowd and act like I didn't exist. It broke my heart each time because I really liked this guy. But I still kept going back. I still allowed him to disrespect me.

I had another experience where this guy straight up told me he just wants to have sex with me. He wanted to give me his "9 inches", and even sent nudes. I was completely shocked because I was friends with him! We had been friends for a year then and I really liked him, he was a cool dude and he was good company, but after that, I lost allll respect for him. I lost all respect for guys. All respect for myself at one point because I almost gave into him. I almost sent him nudes guys :(

At that point I didn't want to write about romance, it was hard to write about stuff that would never happen. I lost all motivation to even open wattpad and just READ about romance.

After Covid hit, I took that opportunity and ran. No school, no work, nothing to do. I lost 25 pounds in 3 months, started "glowing up" as people would call it, and started loving myself. I started posting more photos of myself, I started having more confidence and it was amazing. I had never felt that way before. I was getting dms from sooo many guys but I didn't care! Guys wanted to hang out, wanted to take me on dates, thought I was so beautiful, but I still didn't care! I was focused on myself. I learned such a valuable lesson during that time. You have to love yourself before you even try to get romantically involved with anyone! You have to! Or else you will do what I did and allow any old random dude/bum to disrespect you or treat you like anything less than what you all are: Queens, and Kings!

I was so in love with myself that when I finally did give guys chances, it was about me and how I was being treated and not about them and what they wanted. And if their attitude shifted, I stopped talking to them instantly, no questions asked.

But ladies.. I met someone. Someone amazing. Someone who I love with my WHOLE heart to this day. A Mexican guy I went to school with freshman year who I actually had a crush on back then! He said he had a crush on me too but was too nervous to talk to me. He slid into my dms but he was so respectful, so kind, so sweet! We talked for hours everyday for months! It was months before we even hung out in person, and it was a little frustrating cause I just wanted to see him in person and go on dates in stuff, but the time we spent just texting and otp is actually a huge and crucial part of why we are together and why there will be no breaking up between us (we agreed). We learned EVERYTHING about each other before we even kissed, so when we did finally go out, it was sooooo easy, so comfortable, so relaxed, so... natural. There was no awkwardness, no nervousness, just butterflies. And I was like a little girl with a little crush. The first time we hung out, it was like a fairytale. My heart was beating so fast. He was being so embarrassing too, lol. It was adorable because he was a little shy. Half way through the day, he grabbed my face, looked into my eyes and kissed me so soft and gently. It was my first Kiss!! I was going crazy inside. He just recently told me that when he kissed me, the music for "We Are the Champions" was going off in his head. He asked me to be his girlfriend that day. My first date, first kiss, and first boyfriend all in one day. But it was so easy because, I already knew him. We were in the "talking stage" for literally 4 months yall! Every single day since then hasn't seemed so bad. Whenever I've gone through anything, it didn't seem so bad because I knew he'd be right there for me. We go to church together, our families like each other. It's not perfect but it's darn near close. I'm so in love. It's scary sometimes because I'm so young and the world is just crazy. But I'm so thankful to God for him. I thank God for him every time I pray. I just know he's the one. I know it. We've been together for almost a year now and he's still the same sweet and kind guy I met back in freshman year. He always tells me how beautiful I am. He always tells me how much he loves me. And he always tells me how blessed he is to have me. And I see myself with him for the rest of my life. I could go on and on and on about him but I'll stop before it gets out of hand, lol.

I am now 18 and going off to college soon. Wattpad was probably the biggest part of my childhood, but like most things from childhood, I have to let it go. I have to grow up and move onto bigger things.

I said all this to say; Fairytales do come true! Keep reading wattpad! Keep imagining fairytales and keep those HIGH wattpad expectations for men, because there will be a guy who will meet almost all those expectations, lol! And don't forget to love yourself.

With that being said, I will not be continuing this story. I am so sorry everyone, I know how annoying it is to love a story and never know the ending of it, but I feel this is the best for me. I don't want to just try and finish the story and put garbage out there for you all. So just know that every chapter before the last was written with love, effort, and care! I promise! I love every last one of you and appreciate all your love and support, and I will definitely try to look at you guys' comments and respond to some of you! So you guys know that I actually do love you all and appreciate you all.

I would like to ask for one more favor from you guys. I have recently started a tiktok page and am hoping to start my dream of becoming an influencer. This is very scary for me to share with you because you all will be getting a view of who I actually am and what I look like and my actual life, but I don't want to leave you all out of the loop. I'd love for you all to meet the real "Jazz" ( I actually hate that nickname, lol )

My tiktok page is: _JazzeDup_ , If you can't find me, my bio is "Certified Gooftroop according to my mommy. lol.

I'd appreciate it if you all would follow me and give a couple of my videos a like, and even share my page. If you stick around to see my page grow, I'd GREATLY appreciate that as well!

I love you all so so so so much. And I hope you know that you hold a special spot in my heart!

I will be doing a Q&A for literally ANY question you all may have. About me, my life, the book, anything (obviously not my address and where I live) So feel free to comment any question on any part of this "chapter" !

Love you all,

Peace, Love, and Happiness (I think that's what I would say lol) - Jazz