Fresh Start

N i n e

   "It's a weird concept right?" Maia replies after my loud laughing, "I mean I must at least be worth a fucking chicken." She complains again. We had gone to get coffee- my third cup of the day, but still they merely numbed this killer headache- Maia went on for about fifteen minutes, telling me the story of how her brother and boyfriend started joking about trading her for different animals and how Josh thought she wasn't worth a whole chicken.

It seemed like a fun topic to talk about, not to mention a really fucking weird one; how much someone's worth. It was bordering on creepy but we managed to keep the creepy topic light with jokes and loud laughs that made other people walking through the park glare at us.

By the time the story ended I was halfway through my coffee and we had sat down on the top of a concrete, abandoned skateboard ramp, our legs dangling off the edges. I hold my coffee tight in my hands, conserving its warmth as small raindrops fall on us.

"To say the least it's weird." I agree, small laughs leaving my body as I calm down. "God your family's fucked." I muse earning a small chuckle from Maia, who looks forward, scanning the urban park area. "Do your classes start soon?" I ask her.

She nods slightly as I scan the side of her face in my view. The way her nose curves up slightly, before dipping down and leading to her rounded lips, I notice the one freckle- a little darker than her others, just that bit more noticeable but it was enough for me- it laid directly above her upper lip, slightly closer to the side of her face, it was lower than her other freckles that tended to scatter across her upper cheeks and nose. I wonder if she's only got them because it's summer, or maybe it's a year around thing, they seem to add so much to her I can't really imagine her without them, "Yeah this monday, I'm fucking dreading it." She groans, bringing me back to reality.

God I need to ask her don't I? What if she does care? What if Kaylee was wrong and she actually really cares? Oh my god, I just need to do it right? Rip the band-aid off...if I'm honest I don't really agree with that analogy, I prefer to slowly peel back that bandaid and just try to ignore the pain it brings rather than- Okay, I'm just stalling now, "You know what Kaylee said?" I question, making her turn her gaze from the trees and play structures in front of us to my eyes as she squints slightly, 

"What'd she say?"

"Uh, at McDonald's, you know, about me liking girls..." I explain quietly, I trail off as a knowing look crosses her face along with a slight redness entering her cheeks.

"Is it true?" She asks, her quiet voice matching my previous volume.

I nod my head a bit, deciding it's better to go with the truth rather than lying and denying it all, "Yeah, yeah I'm gay."

She nods slightly, dropping my gaze as she kicks her legs in front of her. I watch as her lips open and I silently pray for her to not be a total jackass ab- "And she said you had a girlfriend? What was her name?"

I look at her, meeting her brown eyes as I try not to get my hopes up, "Uh Luca, her name was Luca."

"But it ended badly?" I hum a quick 'mhm' silently hoping the conversation won't continue but when Maia takes the initiative to ask me, "Badly how?" I feel the need to answer her, as if I owe her something for her just accepting me- even if she hasn't officially said it or anything.

"I wasn't in a good place and she lived in a different country, so the shit just didn't align for us." I state quickly, once again hoping it won't continue.

"I had an old boyfriend who lived in norway." She says, her gaze flickering between my eyes, "It sucks."

I can't help the small smile that grows on my face, as I nod, taking a swig of my latte, "It does suck." I agree, listening as she hums in agreement, following my lead as she takes another sip.