EraserMic Oneshots

Don't carry your baggage alone (pt. 2)

Shouta leaned back again the cold stone wall in the ally beside the bar. He'd had to get out of there to clear his mind. Seeing Hizashi again had brought up a lot of things, if not feeling. Shouta just had to take a moment to think it all through so he didn't accidentally bring up something he shouldn't.

He had to think rationally about this.  The reason Shouta hadn't told Hizashi when he first found out he was pregnant was because he was afraid it would ruin Hizashi's dreams. He was going off to a college across the pacific and Shouta knew that if he'd told Hizashi back then he would've thrown away everything he'd worked for in a heartbeat to help Shouta out. It was just the kind of person Hizashi was, always going out of his way to help.

At the same time, Hizashi deserved to know didn't he? They were grown ups now and Hizashi had moved back to Japan again. Having a child would be more manageable now. However, Shouta was still in college while working only part time. He didn't know about Hizashi, but since he hadn't officially given out any music yet, how could Shouta just surprise him with all the extra expenses that came with a child?

Although Shouta had manage to cover those expenses himself for the last three years, Hizashi would probably want to help him out financially. Being the kind of person Shouta know Hizashi was he would probably get a job to help out which would give him less time for his music, which was the reason he hadn't told him to begin with.

But also, keeping a child from him? That was probably worse... Shouta ran a hand through his hair. He was overthinking everything right now, he knew he was. Normally he had no problem making logical decisions but when it came to his daughter he couldn't. He just loved her too much for anything to happen to her.

"Shouta?" Hizashi's voice cut thought the silence of the night, making Shouta aware of the others presence as he rounded the corner. "Shouta ..."

"I'm sorry Hizashi, I just- I had to get some air."

"Oh, ok," Hizashi fiddled with the strap on his guitar, which he'd thrown over his back when he ran out of the bar after Shouta. "I just wanted to check if you were okay. Did I say something wrong or..?"

"No, no. It's not that," Shouta ran a hand thorough his hair again. To be perfectly honest, it would've been easier if Hizashi had said something wrong. Then Shouta could've justified the fact that he hadn't told Hizashi, at least to some degree. But no, it wasn't Hizashi that was the problem. It was the fact that Shouta couldn't think rationally when it came to anything that had to do with Hizashi. "I just panicked for a second. A lot have happened since we last saw each other. I've changed, and I'm sure you have too."

Hizashi looked at him for a second, studying his face. "So what, you just didn't want to see me?"

"What?" Shouta croaked out in surprise.

"I don't know. You were the one who ghosted me after I left for college and you never gave me an explanation." Hizashi crossed his arms. He still remembered all the sadness and anger he had felt all those years ago. "And now we talk for what, five minutes? But as soon as we started talking about high school you got all weird and just ran out. Again. What am I supposed to think?"

"I'm so sorry Hizashi, I really am. You're right I- I do owe you an explanation," Shouta took a deep breath. "I can't right now but if you're up for it, I would like to talk later, maybe over a coffee?"

Hizashi  just stared at Shouta for second. First off, he had not expected that answer from him. Shouta really had changed a lot in the past four years. Secondly, Shouta's answer made Hizashi concerned. He had made it sound like he'd been critically ill or something.

Worry was probably written all over Hizashi face because Shouta quickly added: "It's nothing bad, I'm fine. It's just ... big. I just want to do it the right way and give you the best explanation I can, which is not at 11:30 pm in an alleyway."

That didn't reassure Hizashi all that much. What could possibly have happened to make Shouta unable to be with him? It just didn't make sense to Hizashi but he decided to trust Shouta on this.

They agreed that they would meet the next day at five at a little café they both knew. Shouta hadn't told Hizashi that he still went to college, but luckily didn't have any mandatory lectures the next day. Most of his classes were recorded so he could watch them later in the evening or in the weekend.

Instead Shouta told Hizashi he only had work until 4 pm. His shift ended at 3 pm, but in this way he would have time to pick up Eri, make her some dinner and drop her off at Toshinori's. He didn't want to use the poor man as a babysitter two days in a row, but he figured this was important enough to except the rule.

They exchanged numbers quickly, before Shouta said goodbye and hurried back to his car. When he was safely inside he leaned back in the seat and groaned. What the fuck had he just done.

~*~

The next morning was Hizashi's first day at work. After he'd moved home again after college he'd applied to several places for part time jobs. Even the he was working on his music it wasn't something he did 24/7. Music was more of a "not doing anything for a week because you don't have any ideas then work 48 hours straight because your brain is spewing out ideas" kind of work, at least for Hizashi. Therefore, he'd figured it was best to get a part time job on the side, to pay some of the bills at least.

The only job Hizashi'd had before was back when he used to babysit for some of his moms' friends' kids. It wasn't much but he had enjoyed it, which was the reason he had applied for the job at the daycare. To be honest, he was a little surprised he got it considering he didn't have any actual pedagogical education. But he was happy with it and excited to start.

Hizashi was going to be responsible for the 3-4 year old. He had come in early to be there when the parents dropped off their kids to meet everyone. The last one to come in was a little girl with long, white hair. She was smiling wide and looked like she had way too much energy considering it was 7am.

The little girl looked at Hizashi with confusion written all over her face. Hizashi just smiled back at her and crouched down so he was face to face with her. "I'm Hizashi and it's my first day working here! What's you name?"

"I'm Eri!" The little girl, Eri, said with a big smile. "I like your hair."

"Thank you," Hizashi said with a chuckle. "I like your hair too!"

~*~

A few hours later, at 3:30 pm, Hizashi's shift ended. He had packed up his stuff and was about to leave when Eri ran up to him. She only had one shoe on, the other in her hand.

"You leaving?" She looked up at him with big toddler eyes. She'd seemed to take a liking to Hizashi and had demanded he joined her playing with doll the entire afternoon.

"Yeah, my shift ended, and I have to get home," Hizashi smiled down at her. He took her other shoe and help her put it on. "It looks like you are going home too. Did your mom or dad come to pick you up?"

Eri nodded enthusiastically. "Daddy always come" Hizashi took her hand and helped her down from the chair.

"Let's go to your daddy then, so he doesn't have to wait for you," Hizashi said and took Eri's hand. They walked towards the door together. When they turned the corner, Eri let go and ran to her dad who was waiting, already holding her backpack. Hizashi stopped dead in his tracks.

"Shouta-"

"Hizashi?"

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finally done with this chapter! i rewrote it too many time bc i couldn't decide how Shouta should tell Hizashi but yeah, this is the result anyway😅