EraserMic Oneshots

Don't carry your baggage alone (pt.5)

Macchiato purred softly from her place at Hizashi's chest. It was warm and comfy, so the cat had quickly fallen asleep. Hizashi smiled as he looked down on the kitten, fast asleep on top of him. He was laying in bed looking through his phone when Macchiato had joined him, apparently deciding that his chest was the perfect place to sleep. He didn't have the heart to move the kitten and wake her up which meant he was now stuck laying on his back.

A soft sigh escaped Hizashi's lips. He was supposed to be leaving soon to meet Shouta but the kitten had apparently decided against that. She blinked, slowly looking up at Hizashi with big, brown kitten eyes.

"You know I have to get up soon to go over to Shouta's right? So you can't fall asleep on me again." Hizashi said to the cat, who completely ignored him, closing her eyes again.

On the note of Shouta, Hizashi let out another sigh. Their relationship had been so complicated ever since he came back from the US. It wasn't like he had expected them to just go on as if nothing had happened. They had so much history together and they had both done hurtful things to each other back in the days.

At the same time, this was not what he had expected. At times they felt like strangers, unable to know what the other person was feeling, and other times it was like the past four years had never happened and they were right back to their old high school selves. Back at the bar, Shouta had seemed so much like his old self, but now he seemed much more barricaded, hesitant in a way.

Hizashi looked down on the kitten laying on his chest. "What do you think, Macchiato? You think I made the right choice by telling Shouta I want to be more involved?"

The kitten just meowed, looking up at him with big brown eyes.

"Yeah, you're right," Hizashi said, scratching Macchiato behind her ear. "I guess I'm just afraid that I'm making things harder for him, you know. I don't want to cause additional stress on top of everything else he has to worry about," Macchiato purred softly, closing her eyes again.

Hizashi picked up his phone from where he had tossed it aside on the bed. He opened the messages from Shouta to doble check the time and date they had agreed on for the dinner. They had decided on a day Eri would be away on a sleepover so the two of them could talk alone.

Only a few scrolls back were all the messages Hizashi had sent Shouta four years ago. The messages Shouta had never answered. Back in the days it had broken Hizashi's heart, and although he now knew Shouta's reasoning it didn't make the messages any less painful to read.

Hizashi put the phone down on the bed again. He wanted to be upset with Shouta. He wanted to scream, to cry, to blame Shouta for not telling him about Eri earlier, but at the same time Hizashi could't really stay mad at him. Because it was Shouta. It had always been him. He had meant so much to Hizashi – he still did. No matter what happened, Shouta would always have a place in Hizashi's heart, as pathetic as it sounded. His oldest friend. His first love.

~*~

The rain was pouring down as Hizashi made his way over to Shouta's apartment. He shook his umbrella as he stepped into the entryway of the building after Shouta had buzzed him in. He pressed the elevator button a few times – a nervous habit he had – in hopes the elevator would move faster.

When Hizashi finally reached Shouta's apartment a string of hesitation held him back as he was about to knock on the wooden door.  Was he really going to do this? What if this wasn't something Shouta wanted, maybe that was why he seemed so closed off. What if Shouta had said all those things because he felt obligated to tell Hizashi about Eri and not because he actually wanted him to be involved. It would probably have been easier for Shouta to just keep things as they had been for the past years.