Running • Iggy

Shouldn't

I was awake before anyone else. The first licks of sunlight flickered through the thin gaps between the closed blinds in the hotel room. I tried to slow my breathing by covering my mouth and burying my forehead against my bent knees. I tried to stop the stupid gasping and the hot tears, but it wouldn't stop. It was the usual bad dream, nothing worth writing about. Whitecoats pinning me down, cutting me open completely sober with no pain meds.

It didn't work. I was in a singular bed on the top bunk of the bed, and Angel and Max were below me. Fang lay in his back on the floor with Gazzy splayed out horizontally across his stomach. Iggy was also on the floor, sleeping on his side, curling up next to Nudge.

I choked back a sob, a wave of the usual terror splashing over my mind. I stopped paying attention to my surroundings, which was a bad thing. I had nothing to pull me into the moment, so I kept getting thrown into different memories. My heartbeat sped up to impossible speeds and my breathing did the same. I wasn't as quiet as I was trying to be or so it appeared, because the next thing I knew there was a dip on the end of my high-up bed. It was a tiny bed meant for one person, and the barriers on the bed meant no one could hang off it to make room for two people. Max and Angel were able to sleep on the bottom bunk because Angel was tiny.

"Hey..." Iggy's soft voice drew out. "Hey, it's okay. What's wrong, sweetheart?" I felt him lie down on his side next to me, looking up at my sitting position. I just shook my head and continued to cry like a little baby.

Iggy's large hand began running circles on my back, a tender gesture that seemed to calm my racing brain down. Me and my weird brain were much more interested in Iggy than traumatic dreams. I slowly took a shaky breath in, then out, until my heart was beating in a normal fast way. I glanced down to Iggy, who had half-lidded eyes as he continued to rub my back.

"Sorry for waking you." I tested my voice wearily. Iggy looked up, his bright blue eyes twinkling with the usual cute shine that made me resist the urge to smile. Iggy just tsked and shook his head. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop being ridiculous?" He asked softly.

He gently tugged my shirt, signaling for me to lie down next to him. I slid down the bed until I was perfectly fitted against his chest. I remembered when I freaked out about the thought of sleeping or lying near Iggy, but now I wanted to do it. I didn't know if I should be happy or horrified at my progress.

I felt Iggy's hand gently run up and down my waist, warm tingles spreading through my body like waves. I must've made some sort of noise, because Iggy grinned. "You like that?" He chuckled, something warm flickering in his eyes. I felt my face heat up as I buried it against his chest. He chuckled again, lowering his head so it was resting against mine and continued to move his hand up and down my waist, the only thing between his hand and my bare waist being my thin tank top.

"Excited for the beach?" His voice was still deeper and rougher from sleep, and it was clear he wasn't done waking up mentally either. His words were slow and slightly hesitant, like he was struggling to form them.

"Yes." I whispered. "But that's not for a few hours, go to sleep -" I hesitated. A dumb, stupid, dumb, idiotic, stupid, stupid stupid stupid idea popped into my head. I tried to fight it off, but failed miserably. "- darling."

Iggy flinched and I winced internally. Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT-

"Say that last part again." He mumbled sleepily. "Please?"

"Go to s-sleep... erm.." My face was impossibly hot. Why does he even want me to say it again? If he keeps acting like this I'll get my hopes up... "Just go to sleep, Igs."