Running • Iggy

Cracking

A month went by so slowly I wondered if I was still under the serum. During this time, the police from before had come to the shop and had recorded our side of the story within 3 hours. I didn't contribute - they had learned soon enough that I was in no condition to explain what had happened, not with the closing wounds covering my face.

It started slowly. I began thinking more about the past, remembering more and more of what my brain had shut out about the flock over the 3 months I was in the lab. To protect me, maybe? Who knows. The flock would still invite me to do everything with them, even if I just stood in the corner and did nothing.

We were sitting in the main room of our house, and they were laughing and talking as they played a board game. A simple memory slammed across my mind, and all the intense emotions I thought I had forced out grabbed onto me, if only for a second.

"I," He had started, clearing his throat. "Bought you something." He gently pressed the box into my hands. As I opened it, I could hear him rambling. "It's not much, really. I couldn't afford anything better, so I'm sorry for that.." My attention focused on the beautiful piece of jewellery inside. It was a simple necklace, but it took my breath away. Placed on the silver chain hung a blue, circular gem. It seemed to catch the old light above us, sending streaks of white light through it. I felt the catch in my throat, studying the gem, running my fingers along its smooth surface.

I felt something wet roll down my cheeks, and I thought I had begun bleeding again until the hand I had pressed to the liquid came away unstained, just glistening with tears. There had only been a few, but Iggy's didn't miss them. "You okay, Cee?" He asked slowly, almost like he was afraid that if he spoke too loud, he would scare the emotions away. It was too late for that anyway. They were gone.

It kept happening after that. Sudden emotions, more fractures in the box as it strained against my body mass. It had been created too small for me in the first place, so the more I squirmed the more the walls began to cave and crack, like they were going to explode.

There was a time where we had been sitting in the living room, the elder 3 flock members laughing and playing a board game together while I stared silently and my scarred hands. Max had healed most of my open wounds a few days after I had broken out, but she couldn't completely heal the scars already on my body from the same type of treatment. My hands were littered in the little fading lines and splotches, making me feel like some sort of child's failed art project. I didn't care, though.

"Move forward 3 inches," Fang said before doing a double-take. "That does not say inches. That says spaces." He peered at the card suspiciously. Iggy snorted. "How can you move forward 3 inches when you only have two, Fang?" He shot, making the three burst into laughter.

I smiled slightly, I didn't even realise I did. That was until they were all staring at me with wide eyes. "Did I do something?" I asked in a monotone voice. The expression that fell onto their face should've made me feel terrible - the sad understanding was instant. But I didn't. I didn't feel bad at all.

Nudge came into my room one night, tears in her eyes as she walked in. "C-Citrus?" She sniffled quietly. "Are you really... Really not coming back?" She whispered, her fists clenched. "I thought it would be like the way it was back then, you kind of went quiet and then snapped back slowly... B-but you're not going to snap back, are you? Max keeps saying that you're a lost cause..."

I think Citrus would've comforted her. I mean - I was still Citrus, but it felt better referring to her as a different person. I didn't feel like her anymore, I didn't deserve her name. I just got a number. Back then, I, or Citrus, would've comforted her. But I didn't know how. I just continued to stare blankly at the ceiling. She left after that.