my light // r. suna

37.

i look up, only to see that y/n was the one i bumped into. but there she was holding the box that was specifically labeled, 'single edge razor blades.'

oh.

i stared at her to see her reaction before i did anything else.

she was quiet. her hands began shaking as she clenched her fists while holding the box. kita began running out to come help us, but as soon as i saw him coming, i quickly opened her fists with my own hands and grabbed the box, immediately getting up and walking inside. my heart began racing, i don't know what to do.

i glance back at her for a short second and she was already staring at me, running away from her.

i didn't think of anybody else but myself at the time, but it didn't matter to me, i was gonna get caught with razor blades on me. it's already bad enough that y/n knows.

fuck.. i'm so clumsy..

"suna!" someone yelled.

i look around the room as i was running towards the elevators, seeing that everybody was staring back at the person who yelled. i stared back and it was y/n, calling for me.

"i can't fucking believe you." she said firmly. chills had gone up my spine as i slowed down, coming at a stop shortly after.

"what..?" i asked.

our relationship was going downhill at a very fast pace, it's too much to keep up with.

i turn back and stared at her as she approached me. kita walked inside with a very worried look. he stared at me with tears in his eyes, walking to coach kurosu.

i realize what he's about to do. he's going to tell coach.

"kita, don't do it!" i yelled, trying to stop him.

he ignored me. he usually listens to me, he always keeps my secrets. what's wrong with this secret?.. can't this be between us three? please?

fuck,.. i'm gonna get sent home.

i cover my face and began crying on the spot, witnessing everything's falling apart right in front of me.

she shoved me back, asking, "how could you fucking lie to me?!"

she stepped forward again and shoved me two more times.

"y/n,"

"imagine if we hadn't bumped into each other. what would happen then? huh? huh?!"

"y/n, i'm so sorry."

"you said you would never do that! you fucking promised."

i absolutely have no words. i have no excuses. i can't lie in this situation. it's already bad enough.

"and don't even give me some.. bullshit excuse, suna, i-"

"i know. i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry, y/n. i'm ashamed."

she stood there and stared into my eyes. she covered her eyes and wiped her tears away. there was no point, new tears came running down her face as she kept trying to wipe them.