Chapter 29

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Sumakay ako sa sasakyan ni Zach, hoping that I could at least comfort him from what happened. Umiiling lang siya habang nagd-drive, at ako naman ay nakatingin lang sa labas.

"I told you this would happen." Huminga siya nang malalim. "He's not going to stop. Now that he knows that you guys know."

"Zach.."

"Ena, bakit mo ba gustong bumabalik sa ganitong buhay? Okay yung trabaho mo, okay si Papa, okay naman lahat, eh." Kunot noo niyang tanong sa akin. "Isang balik lang niya, willing kang itapon lahat para lang sundan siya."

I took a deep breath and looked at Zach. I could see his frustration. I get it. That was a lot to handle.

But he doesn't get to say that.

"Hindi 'to tungkol kay Ezra, Zach. You, of all people, should know that." Umiling ako. "We were just hoping for an apology. For justice. For your brother to feel even the slightest bit of remorse. This is not about Ezra. This is about the child I could have had, Zach.. the child that I did have."

I know he said what he said out of anger and frustration, but it hurt. Masakit na hindi niya man lang inisip kung saan ako nanggagaling. Hindi niya inisip yung sakit na nakabaon.

"I don't care about my damn lovelife." I let out a breath. "I've worked hard to be where I'm at. Tumayo ako, bumangon ako. Hindi ito tungkol sa ex ko o sa sakit na naranasan ko nung umalis siya. Kung babalik siya, edi babalik siya. Kung hindi, okay lang sa akin. Kaya ko. This is not about him. Tungkol 'to sa taong minahal ko.. na hindi ko man lang nahawakan."

Pinunasan ko ang luhang hindi ko namalayang namumuo na sa mga mata ko. Even just talking about it felt like it was happening all over again.

That night. The car crash.

1:58 AM.

"I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

I know he's sorry. He didn't mean it. He's Zach. He would never intentionally hurt me.

"I know," sagot ko sa kaniya. "Gets ko naman pinanggagalingan mo, eh. You don't have to be here, Zach. It's fine if you don't want anything to do with this. Pasensya na at pinilit pa kitang sumama."

"I want to be here. No matter what." Kinagat niya ang labi niya. "I just want you to be safe, Ena.. alam mo naman 'yon. I don't want you to re-live the past."

"I know." I nodded and gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

Pagkabalik namin ng headquarters nina Ezra ay bumaba kaagad ako. Ezra was sitting on the stairs with his head down, both his hands on top of his head.

Bahagya akong naglakad papalapit sa kaniya, at dinaanan nalang siya ni Zach. The tension between the two of them was evident, even in the silence.

Papalubog na ang araw kaya naman isa-isa nang nagkakaroon ng ilaw sa labas. I looked at the sky as I sat beside Ezra. It had just stopped drizzling, so they stairs weren't completely wet.

"This is what I get.." simula niya.

Bumaling ako kay Ezra. He looks.. so tired. Para bang kanina pa siya nag-iisip. I know these past few days haven't been the easiest. At marami rin kaming naiwan na mga responsibilidad sa Manila.

"Ano?" I asked.

"This is what I get for breaking my promise." Umiling siya at naghilamos ng mukha. "Hindi na dapat tayo nag-kita, Ena. you were living peacefully these past six years. Then I come right back into your life and look where it leads you."

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