chapter 4 - i hope you're happy but don't be happier

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Ricky was slowly getting back on his feet, life without Nini was not one he preferred, but it was his reality now. His work kept him busy enough to not be thinking about her 24/7. It was fall by now, and his calendar was full of fall weddings and pre-wedding photoshoots. Ricky had just finished his last appointment. He was currently in the studio importing his camera roll and going through the photos he took today. He sighed as he saw the couples' photographs, and his mind drifted to his favorite brunette. Before you know it, he was scrolling through the photos app on his phone, and looking at old photos. 

Nini was good at staying off the radar. As far as Ricky knew, Big Red was the only one who had her number, and Ricky had tried to stalk her on her socials, but she hadn't updated anything since they broke up. He found himself wondering how she was doing. He hoped she was happy, but he wondered if she was happier. What if he was holding her back all this time, and she was better off without him? What if she'd found someone else? Ricky had always known that she deserved someone better, but throughout their relationship she had assured him that she loved him and only him. 

Back in college, they would often argue because Nini was a TA, and many of the students who came to her for assistance, also hit on her. None of them succeeded, because Nini never paid any attention to them, she didn't even notice they were into her. Ricky remembered the fight that they had when a student had asked her to meet him after hours at the cafe on campus to work on his extra credit project. 

(flashback)

"Ricky, he's my student, this is ridiculous, you can't tell me what to do." 

"Neens, the only reason he's doing the extra credit is because he's into you! I mean, c'mon it's after office hours at a cafe."  Ricky said exasperatedly. "You just don't realize the effect you have on people."  


"What do you mean?"  Nini asked.

"Every time you walk into a room, every single guy turns their head to look at you." 

"No they don't." 

"Yes they do. I'm a guy, I know these things. You're beautiful, kind, smart and literally the nicest person I know, of course every guy is attracted to you, Neens." 

Nini blushed at his compliments.

"Okay, but that doesn't really explain why you don't want me to go. I'm single anyway, so might as well go on this date, right?" 

"God, for someone so smart you're really slow you know. Do I have to spell it out?" Ricky was frustratedly pulling at his curls, he had to tell her, it's now or never. "Every. Guy. Is. Attracted. to. you. I'm attracted to you. I have been for a while, Neens." 

Ricky stepped forward and moved a stray strand of hair from her face. He leaned down to kiss her, and when she didn't pull back, he pressed his lips against hers. It was the most magical feeling, her lips were so soft, and he felt like his head was spinning by the time they broke apart. 

(She never went on that date, and she wasn't single for long after that)

That was then, but now that she's single again, she was free to date whoever she wants to. Ricky groaned in frustration and closed his laptop, not wanting to dwell further on the thought.
____ 

She had been reading this paragraph for half an hour, something is missing she just doesn't know yet, and she couldn't focus with all the upcoming deadlines. Nini's desk was flooded with papers and she had a million emails to go through. She had skipped lunch and from the looks of it, she was probably going to miss dinner as well.

Nini decided she needed a break, so she went to the break room to get some coffee, she can forget about sleeping tonight. When she came back, she decided to pause on the articles for a while, and reply her emails. A few of them stood out to her, there was an email from Kourtney about the Style column, one from EJ about a dog shelter he's volunteering at, and one from the photo editor. She decided to open the latter, intrigued by the subject. 

Subject : Cover Photo Winner for Sept Issue 

Figment held a photography competition a few months ago, before she joined them, and the winner would have their work on the cover of the mag. She quickly opened the attachment, excited to find out what the cover of the September issue would look like. Nini drew a sharp intake of breath when she saw the photo. 

It was a photo of a little girl on a skateboard. She had just jumped off the ramp, and the photographer had captured her doing a trick mid-air. It was a beautiful photo, and Nini knew exactly where this photo was taken. It was a skatepark in Salt Lake City, Ricky's skatepark. She scrolled through the email to check the photographer's name, and sure enough, there he was. 

Title : Salt Lake Skates by Ricky Bowen

She felt her heart thump against her chest at the sight of his name, a mixture of pride and nostalgia, she thought. She could never escape Ricky Bowen.
____ 

Ricky was packing up his equipment after shooting a wedding, he was a little tipsy after a few drinks, and he hoped it didn't affect his last few photos. He wasn't trying to hit on any of the bridesmaids, but one of them had insisted she buy him a drink, and they ended up at the bar for half an hour. Did he spend the night drinking with the girl? Maybe. Did he talk about Nini the whole time? Absolutely. 

As he was heading out, his phone beeped, it was an email notification from Figment Magazine. He forgot that he'd submitted a photo to them months ago, they were probably notifying him that his photo wasn't chosen. He'd only submitted his work because his girlf- .. ex-girlfriend was always pestering him about putting his work "out there."

(flashback)

Ricky and Nini were chilling on the couch, his head on her lap as they watched cartoons. 

"Babe?" She said, playing with his curls. 

"What's up?" 

"How come you're not putting your work out there?" 

"My work is out there.." Ricky said pointing to the window to show her his studio just down the street. "My studio is right there. So my work is out there.

"I'm serious, Ricky. I see you when you're taking photos, it's like you're in your element, and it's incredible to watch. And I don't mean wedding photos or graduation photos. I'm talking about the kind of photos that you would interrupt our dates for because you just had to capture the moment. You're amazing you know?"  She brushed a curl away from his eyes. 

"The wedding photos pay the bills, babe, and my photos aren't that good. You're just saying that because you're my girlfriend." 

Nini moved to sit up straight, which made him sit up as well. She had the biggest scowl on her face, and Ricky was starting to think that he's in trouble.

"Ricky, I want you to look me in the eye when I say this." She grabbed his hand "Ricky Bowen. You are such a talented photographer. You're photographs are breathtaking, they tell a story, and I love that you're so humble. But I hate seeing you sell yourself short. You're brilliant and you should embrace it." 

"I don't-" 

She stopped him with a kiss. 

"Just think about it okay?" 

He simply nodded. Later on, he secretly submitted a piece to Figment Magazine for a photo competition. If Nini, who is easily the most amazing person he's ever met, thinks that he is amazing, then he wants to try and believe it. But he didn't tell her about his submission, he didn't want her to be disappointed in him if they rejected him. 

Ricky opened up the email, and to his surprise, he had won the competition and his photo would be the cover of the magazine's next issue. He wondered if Nini would've been proud of him. He opened up his voice notes app, and started recording. It was a habit he'd formed a few weeks after Nini left, there was always something he wanted to tell her, and he didn't want to forget so he recorded them on his phone. He would tell her everything when they finally reunite. 

Hey Neens, guess what? I submitted one of my photos to this lifestyle and culture magazine in new york, and it's gonna be the cover of the magazine next month. Thanks for always pushing me to take risks, you were right, like always. I miss you so much. 
____


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