Second Chances (Ricky + Nini)

chapter 18 - stupid, emotional, obsessive little me

"I love you." 

Nini was stunned to hear those words coming from Ricky, and she found herself unable to speak. She kept telling her brain to just say the three words, but it came out as an unintelligible hum. Before she could say anything else, Ricky had closed the distance between them. When he pulled apart he took her hand and looked at her again with those beautiful brown eyes. 

"You don't have to say anything. It's okay. I said it for me, because I just can't contain my feelings anymore, Neens." Ricky said. "I don't care if you say it back. You should say it when you're ready." 

"Ricky, I-" Nini tried to explain, but Ricky cut her off putting a finger on her lips. 

"I mean it, Neens." Ricky said. "Now, I would like to express my gratitude for this amazing day by buying you dinner.. Shall we?" 

Nini sensed that the moment was over, and she would just have to find another way to say it to him. She felt like an idiot, she'd been planning to say it all day, and now that he says it she freezes up. 

"Actually... we have to go to your surprise dinner at Slices. Big Red just texted me, and everyone's there already." Nini explained. 

"You're kidding me? You really thought of everything.. I can't take anymore surprises, babe." 

"Well, it's not a surprise anymore, I just told you." Nini grinned. "It's the last event of the day, I promise." 

With that they left the studio and headed to Salt Lake Slices. Nini was quiet on the drive, she just felt so bad. He was so understanding and calm about it, but she didn't want him to wonder if she loved him. Of course she loved him, and she was going to make it her mission to find him tonight and tell him how she really felt.
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Ricky's birthday dinner was perfect. Nini and Red had gathered all of his closest friends and family, and after dinner they had an impromptu karaoke session at Slices. It was heartwarming. His mom had even called in the middle of dinner to wish him a happy birthday and invite him to thanksgiving in Chicago. He was glad that their relationship was improving, and he had his incredible girlfriend to thank for that. 

Nini had been avoiding him throughout dinner. He sensed that it might have something to do with his confession earlier, and her lack of a response. But he wasn't disappointed. He really truly said it for himself, because he loves her and he just wanted her to know that. He didn't need her to say it back, because he could feel her love for him in her every word and action. This whole day had been proof of that, but so was the last 8 years, including the four months they were apart. So much has happened between them, and she stood by him. There was never anything that he did that she couldn't forgive, she's always giving all of herself to him, and putting his needs above hers. That's love. 

Would he like to hear her say those words back? Yes. But he wanted her to say it in her own time, not because he pressured her. When he dropped her off at the hotel, he could sense that she was tense, and she was probably feeling guilty. So he made sure he thanked her for today, and poured out his heart into a goodnight kiss. Hoping that she knows nothing's changed between them and everything will be okay. 
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Nini couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning all night, and kept replaying their conversation in her mind. She tried to get some work done, but she found that she couldn't focus. Finally, she decided that she couldn't take it anymore, she had to tell him right this second. 

She got dressed, put on her shoes and headed to Ricky's house, taking note that it was 2 am and not caring if he was asleep. When she got there, she thanked the uber driver, and rang Ricky's  doorbell once more. Feeling slightly nervous but determined. 

After a while, she heard the dragging of footsteps towards the door, and the clicking of the lock. Out came a groggy Ricky, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Nini couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked when his curly hair was tousled. 

"Nini?" He squinted his eyes to make sure it was her, and the sight of her seemed to wake him up. "Is everything okay? What's wrong?" 

"I love you." Nini blurted out. "I've loved you since we were 16, when you made me go on that roller coaster at six flags, and you puked all over my shoes. I love you. Last night, at the studio, when you told me you loved me. I meant to say it back, and I've been beating myself up all night because I didn't. Sometimes you know exactly what to say, then you open your mouth and the words go away. The funny thing is, I had been planning to say it to you for days, and I guess I was just caught off guard that you beat me to it. But Ricky, I love you so much. I never really stopped, and probably never will. You're family. You're my home. And I'm sorry for showing up like this so late in the night, but I couldn't stand that I made you think I didn't love you back-" 

Ricky's lips were suddenly on hers, cutting her off, he's been doing that a lot but Nini didn't mind. Their lips moved together in a familiar rhythm, and his hands found their way to her hair. Nini felt like her heart was glowing. No one had ever loved her like Ricky, and she felt so happy she could cry. They pulled apart breathlessly, her forehead resting on his, his hands cupping her cheeks. 

"I love you. But I meant what I said, babe. I never really needed you to say it back to me, because you already show me everyday. The way you take care of me, how you always go out of your way to make me feel special, how forgiving you are, and how you believe in me even when I don't. I would be an idiot to believe that you didn't love me. So you don't have to worry about that." Ricky kissed her forehead and pulled her into his chest. "I love you so much." 

She found herself getting emotional upon hearing his words, and buried her face in his chest. She didn't realize she was crying into his shirt until she felt him rub soothing circles on her back. 

"Baby, whats wrong?" Ricky said, not letting go of her. "Please don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." 

"I'm sorry." Nini said, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso. "I just love you so much."

"I love you too." He kissed the top of her head. "So much."

They stayed like that for a while. Just wrapped in each other's arms, savoring every moment spent together. 

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