chapter 36 - you ran to her the second that we called it quits

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[a/n : hey guys, I know it's been a while. But thank you for those of you still reading this. It took me a while to post this, and I know the story is getting frustrating at this point. Hopefully our lovebirds will figure it out soon.]

After that first phone call from Ricky, Nini felt hopeful. Maybe he still needed her, maybe she was still his person, and he would eventually come around. For the next two months, the phone calls grew in frequency. Ricky was always the one to call her. It was either a nightmare, or a drunken phone call. Nini realized how dangerous it was - the fact that he only wanted her when he wasn't 100% conscious, and she might get hurt even more in the end. But she promised she'd always be there for him and she just didn't have the heart to leave him alone.

He would often cry when he called her, his voice hoarse because of the alcohol, and the words were all jumbled up. He would tell her he missed her and he loved her so much. But he could never be enough for her. She would cry with him, because she hated that he was hurting himself. She would try to tell him that he was everything to her, but he wouldn't listen. In the morning, there would be a text from him, asking if he said anything weird last night, apologizing, thanking her, and promising never to do it again. She still waited for him at the park too. Every single day, without fail. But he never came.

Kourtney had warned her that she wasn't making the situation better by tolerating him. But the heart wants what it wants. She never thought that she would get a phone call that would send her over the edge tonight.

"Hey." Nini answered the phone.

"Neens." Ricky said. "I have a date tomorrow."

Her heart dropped. She'd never even so much as looked at another guy since their break up, but clearly Ricky's been busy. Not that it would be hard for him to find a date, women practically throw themselves at him.

"Why are you telling me this?" Nini asked. "This is one of the only times you're sober when you called me, and that's what you're gonna say?"

"I'm sorry."

"I hate that word. What does it even mean? You're sorry? It doesn't change anything." Nini said. "I've been waiting for you to just open your eyes and see me, Ricky. I'm right here, I've always been right here. I've never cared about your job or how much money you had, because I love you. I just love you for you. Why can't you see that?!"

"You'll never be fully happy with me , Neens." Ricky said, "I just can't do that to you."

"We were happy." Nini said choking. "But I'm done waiting for you. I can't do this anymore. I know I said I'd always be there for you, but I guess we both broke our promises, huh?"

"Neens..."

"No. I can't keep doing this, Ricky. I can't be your friend, because I'm always gonna want more. Goodbye, Ricky."

Nini hung up the phone and finally let the tears fall. It was over. Forever. She thought that deep inside he still loved her. But he'd moved on.
_________
Ricky played with his lasagna as he replayed his last conversation with Nini, over and over again. He'd never hear from her again. That was a consequence of the choices he made, and he was going to have to live with it.

The truth was, he'd cancelled his date this morning, because he was too upset about Nini. And he knew that this girl could never be her. He didn't want to hurt her either, knowing that whatever relationship they would have would never be real.

"Something on your mind?" Red said, plopping down in front of him.

"Nope. Just.. work stuff." Ricky took a bite.

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