schlatt (+lunch club) : babysitter

+ eight

"charlie? that you?" i call down from my room as i finish cutting out some stuff from today's YLYL stream.

it went pretty well but schlatt seemed to be unusually grumpy the whole time. i don't understand why he's such an asshole; maybe it's the new yorker in him. he took plenty of photos with that camera too. it's like he's mocking me with that and i hate it. honestly, i kinda hate him.

i shut off my computer and go down the steps, excited to spend time with charlie. he's such a sweetheart. between he and ted, they're making this place actually start to feel like a holiday.

"okay i gotta gulp down these pills and then-"
"what pills?" that grumpy voice stops me.
"schlatt?"
"you some kinda druggie? you look it." he looks me up and down scornfully, wearing that goddamn camera.

"ugh, god." i mutter under my breath, "aren't you supposed to be out?"
he takes a chomp out of a stale looking cookie, "nah my friend cancelled. and charlie had to go help out ted or something i dunno."
"well this sucks."
"yeah, i think i'll leave cooking to the lady. women, kitchens. you get the idea." he snaps a photo of me and walks off.

"what the fuck? at least help." i grab a glass of water and set it on the surface.
"why?"
i cross my arms "if you don't, i won't make you any."
he has no reaction, just looks up from the camera and walks back, "what are we making"

that was easy.

i take my meds as he watches in a grump.

"well.. from the looks of it..." i root through the fridge and cupboards, "i guess... spaghetti bolognese."

he says nothing.

"you chop onions, here." i hand him a couple and whip out a knife for him. he quietly grabs the knife with his left hand and brings it to the onion hesitantly. he glances up at me before chopping a wonky line through it.

"okay no- look." i hold my hands out.
"what?" he snatches the knife away, "i'm doing what you asked! i'm chopping the onions!"
"well i thought you'd at least know how to do it properly! let me show you!"

he sighs and hands me the knife, "trust the woman to know how to cook."
"can you shut the fuck up about my gender for one second?"
he gestures exasperatedly to the chopping board.
"alright, first you want to peel them until they're good and shiny. then cut them in half. then cut the halves in half longways but hold it together still. then start at the end, chopping little bits up like this."

i dice the onions quickly for a second until he pushes me out of the way.
"okay okay i can do that." he continues with clunky chops, slamming the knife down.
"no look!" i hold his hand on the knife and draw it towards me as it cuts so it's not going straight down. "slide it."
"alright! now go do the rest."
"alright. lefty." i get back to the other ingredients, prepping the sauce and ground beef for the bolognese. "shut the fuck up! fuckin hate onions.." he mutters.

we cook in silence for some time. frankly, i don't want to talk to him and i'm sure he feels the same. the mutual decision to fuck off actually weirdly makes me feel closer to him. at least he's.. respectful?

"yo, woman. what do i do now."
nevermind, "can you stir the sauce for a sec while i see what's up with charlie?"
"cant i do that? they're my friends. they just talk to you because you're here."
ouch... "just... do it. i'll come back in a second."
"one-"
"fuck OFF schlatt!" i grab my phone and leave.

"hey?" there's lots of background noise from the car.
"hey charlie... it's me."
"y/n! hey, great news!"
"what?"
i hear ted's voice faintly, "wait, wait for the others when we get home."
"oh, well when we get home we have news! why'd you call?"
"i was just wondering when you were back."
"we won't be too long. what did you guys make?"
"spaghetti bolognese. schlatt sucks at cooking. and just... as a person."
he sighs, "yeah he'll take some time to get used to. hes a little edgy too but i'm sure he means well."
"really?"
"yeah just... let him know when hes going too far."
"i'll try. thank you."
"it's cool! later dude!"
"byee"

"yeah they'll be back soon after the others-" i'm greeted by the aforementioned others as i renter the kitchen.
"this smells so goood y/n" noah sniffs the air.
"thanks" i smirk, glancing at schlatt to see if it pissed him off. but he's texting.
"well they should be here any minute."

"did charles tell you what the surprise was?" travis waddles over to me.
"not yet! i think hes gonna announce it."
"i'm so excited! it's from swagger apparently!"
"who names their kid swagger-"
"oh it's an online name. username thingy."
"oh right! i forgot you guys all do that stuff! what's your user?"
"traves."
"travis?"
"trav-es"
"...oh"

we suddenly hear the door unlock and rush to the hallway. ted and charlie and swarmed as we get ourselves ready for the news.

"so?"
"can i?"
ted nods.

"swagger called. he's got a bit of a... business opportunity for us. i hope you guys like kangaroos because we're going down UNDER!"
"for a video??"
"yup! misfits x lunch club! and y/n-" ted calls to me, "you're on camera! we got you a ticket too."

"fuck sake.." schlatt scoffs quietly.