schlatt (+lunch club) : babysitter

twenty eight +

it's completely dark when i wake up. the only light is schlatt's phone playing the Yard podcast and it illuminates his sleeping face before mine. he must have fallen asleep listening to it .. and lying right by me.

i lift the duvet over him and shuffle a little closer so we're both covered. he barely moves as i turn off his phone and tuck it under the pillow on airplane mode.

"thank you." he whispers.

"oh you're awake .." i reply, a little embarrassed, "should i turn your phone back on?"
"no it's fine."
"okay .." i turn onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.

"you know earlier, when you said i wasn't an asshole?" his voice is barely above a whisper now.
"yeah."
"you're wrong. i'm a huge asshole." it's almost like he's decided this unquestionably.
"says the guy lying in my hospital bed with me right now because he was worried about me?"
he stops dead in his tracks and laughs a little caught off guard.

"but back in LA-"
"that was then! this is now!"

"i'm still an asshole, you said it yourself." he pokes my side.
"no- that was so long ago!" i turn to face him and poke him back on his stomach.
"it was true though, and still is."
"you're a sweetie now."
"no i'm not."
"are."
"am not."
"are."
"am not."
"are."
"am not."
"are."
"am n-"

i kiss him.

half to shut him up and half just because i couldn't resist. i didn't realise how badly i'd missed him and how much i wanted him here.

his eyes widen at first but he slips into a rhythm and brings a hand up to hold my face. we fall into each other for a moment, forgetting everything else except for this.

but then he stops.

"no." he shakes his head.
"what?"
"you're just going to break my heart again... you're just going to be nice to me and leave like you did in LA"
"schlatt .."
he sighs, "i need to go. i just need to think."
i watch him sit up and grab a jacket, "please stay!"
"just go back to sleep. i need to get out of here." he slips his shoes on and leaves out the door.

"schlatt!" i call.

"please come back!"

"don't go .." my voice weakens into a cough.

i can't lose him again ...

though my whole body is against it, i try my best to get up. i slide my legs over the edge of the bed, wrap myself in the intro blanket and stand with a wobbly stance. i use the bed and various other bits of furniture to keep myself upright and stumble through the hospital. it's not far too the exit so i make my way though weakly but surely.

the entry doors are heavy and hard to get past. i put my whole body's weight on them and stumble through to the outside. "schlatt!" i call weakly, completely out of breath and in pain at my lungs.

"schlatt!" i see him in the parking lot and start trying to run to him. my lungs are burning now but i push myself as hard as possible. he turns to me with those sad eyes, but they widen quickly.

"y/n!" he runs over and catches me just as i fall, completely out of all the energy i had left. things darken once again and i'm left with just my subconscious.

we're in the ocean again.

the more i'm here the more i realise just how much this is mirroring when we were in the water back in la.

something changed a little then.

once again, i find myself stuck in the waves, barely able to move. i see schlatt and he's neck-deep, looking out to the horizon.

"schlatt!" i call.

he doesn't hear.

i keep calling out to him but he's deaf to it, like i'm not even here.

"where did you go?" he says quietly, but it's loud in my ears somehow.

"i'm here! i'm here!" i try to wave at him but i notice i have no hands. i look down and my whole body is missing.

it's not that i couldn't move, i was just never there in the first place.

just watching.

"i'm going to get you out of there!" i call.

"-so should probably stay in bed 100% of the time for today. she's looking up though. we might be able to send her home tomorrow." i hear the doctor's voice say quietly.

"are her lungs going to be painful?" schlatt says from right beside me.

"for a few hours, yes. i'll make her a warm drink that should ease the pain." she gets up quickly and leaves the room.

i take in a breath and it feels cold and hot at the same time. there's nothing i can think of to say.

"have you ever played skyrim?" i whisper quietly, turning my head to him slightly and opening my eyes.

"skyrim?" he looks at me in shock, "no.."

"you should. it's good." i close my eyes again.

"im sorry for leaving."

"it's okay. i hurt you before. it's natural that you'd want to leave."

he stays quiet for a second.

"you were out for a while. it's been like 12 hours. must've been lots of healing going on in there." he pokes my shoulder.

i turn to him and smile, "yeah. apart from breathing pain i think the meds are working."

"yeah the doctor said you could be coming home soon."

"mm." i smile, "no more hospital food."

"i was thinking ... maybe you'd want to come stay with me? well- me and connor."

"i'd love that. i need to meet the jam boy."

he chuckles, "jambo?"

"mm."

"i'll put him in with you when you come over. and i promise not to overreact again."

"it's okay." i smile weakly, but all i can think about is the kiss. i wonder if we can do that again..

"oh you're awake!" the doctor smiled happily with a mug in her hands.

"hello." i smile.
"i hope you're feeling okay, here's a little drink to help ease the pain. have you spoken to schlatt about your condition? you're on the way up!"
"yeah!" i smile, taking the mug from her happily.
"we're thinking tomorrow evening could be a good time to head home? obviously if you experience a change in symptoms we can keep you a little longer but apart from that, you should be good by then."

"thank you so much! i think i'll be cool to head back by then. is that okay schlatt?"
he nods and smiles, "i'll let connor know and he can come grab us."
"sweet!" i say, feeling excitement in my chest.