schlatt (+lunch club) : babysitter

thirty five +

i turn over to see schlatt facing me and sleeping with his face smushed against the pillow. he looks grumpy even when he's asleep but in an endearing way. like a pug.

i start out pushing individual hairs out of his face, but eventually i end up just combing his hair back like i usually do. i love that it's so long i can tuck it behind his ear.

"schlatt?"

he grumbles a little and shuffles.

"jambo. jambo."

"mmwheres my boy." he sits up immediately and opens his dreary eyes.

"i was just trying to get you up." i smile and pull him back down.

"mm.. actually got excited." he yawns and pulls me up close to him.

"you excited for today?" i smile and shape his eyebrows with my thumb.

he chuckles, "yeah, why?"

"just checking. didn't want you to feel nervous about it."

"it'll be a while before it comes out." he sighs.

i stroke his hair some more, "yeah but we'll still be telling ted and charlie."

"we should do it like they already know. i could introduce you as.. i mean-" he shuffles back a little and looks around awkwardly.

"y/u/n?"

"what do i call you without being too forward?" he says in a high, careful tone.

i smile and kiss his forehead, "we don't have to announce anything yet, it's okay."

he laughs in relief.

y/u/n & chuckle week begins! - chuckle sandwich episode #22

"welcome everyone to our very first episode of chuckle week!"  ted announces, sat beside charlie and opposite schlatt and i on the other side of the table. he gestures around, "on our very beautiful set here! we're here, baby."

we all applaud, snickering a little.

"i'm clapping into the mic." says schlatt.

ted starts off my introduction, "alright so today, starting off this week of glory... beauty... love and uhh- friendship, we have —"

"ladies and gentlemen —" schlatt interrupts, clapping his hands together and looking over at the others nervously.

ted mumbles under his breath, "well okay, i was gonna introduce her but whatever.."

"chucklers, today we have one of the biggest streamers on the twitch platform, who rose to fame staggeringly over the past few months. she's been known for her hilarious playthroughs and being a certified funny woman. you may know her from dying in hospital and always fainting from an iron deficiency, everybody this is-"

i smile excitedly at him,

"y/u/n." he puts his arm around my shoulder.

"woah!" charlie laughs, confused.

"schlatt you can't-"

i put my arm around him, kiss his cheek and wave my hands shyly.

the two in front of us suddenly realise and stare with their jaws on the floor.

"are they in shock? boys? hello? hey!" i wave my hand in front of their faces.

"cut-" boruff calls from behind the camera.

"..whelp..." schlatt shrugs, "let's just keep going c'mon, tell us about yourself y/n."
"sure!" i laugh as i stare at their silly faces, "any questions?"

he gets very animated suddenly, "where do i start! i guess i'll ask how you first started growing on twitch?"
"well it must be-"

"HOLD ON HOLD ON-" ted stops me,

"cut-"

"YOU DECIDED TO DO THIS *MID* RECORDING??"

i cant tell if he's actually mad or not..

"yes..." schlatt himself looks afraid.

"THATS SUCH GOOD CONTENT!" he laughs and we all do so with him. everyone on set has a big chuckle too as schlatt and i exchange relieved looks.

"we're keeping it own the down-low for now... maybe we can release these clips later." i smile at the camera.

"how long have you been keeping this secret?" charlie asks.

"hoooww looonngg!! has this been gooooing-" i interrupt schlatt with a nudge.
"i guess... since last night?"
"it's been so up in the air until we talked about it" he shrugs.
"not quite dating yet just... heading that way." i ruffle his hair.

"but when did you- like... when was that spark?"

"we kissed in the hospital?" schlatt says.
"that wasn't the spark." i laugh, "don't you remember back in LA?"

"in 2020???" charlie asks, shocked.
"you guys literally hated each other-"

"never really did." i shrug.

"oh can i read out the pros and cons thing?" schlatt smiles like a little kid.
"no no.. that's for your ears only." i pat his head.

"what did you write like- pros: jambo, cons: grumpy guy?" ted laughs.

i grin, "pros was more just observations- the thing with schlatt is you could just watch him like a wild animal and it never gets old."
he laughs bashfully.

the camera starts rolling again.

"oh my god that's so true! literally all i've been doing at the airbnb is just pretending to watch tv while he's like figuring out the coffee machine" charlie chuckles.
"exactly! it's like a nature documentary."

"the wild schlatt in his seasonal migration to the LA area." ted says, mimicking the low voices of narrators.

"here we see him courting by using his unusually grumpy attitude to somehow charm the y/n." he chimes in, looking at me.

"he is a lot nicer than he tries to come off as" ted nods.
"right?? always taking care of me. he's like my support grump." i lean into his shoulder and he squeezes me.

"so- i mean you didn't talk for ages though?" ted says carefully.

"yeah that was ... a bit of a rough patch. i was scared and kinda rejected him a little back when lunch club was falling apart and i moved out to austin."
they all share a solemn nod.

"i actually still watched her a little. and apparently she watched me too?"
"yeah a little. more towards early january i was just like god why do i miss this guy so much and well- here's why." i chuckle.

"wow i can't- i mean i don't even know what to say!" ted gestures.

"we can still do the podcast,, right? i mean- we can talk about parts of-"

boruff sighs, "there's gonna be a lot of stitching together, sorry scott. try to keep it podcast from now on."

"y/n actually i have a question for you-"
"oh god here we go.."

"would you rather have-"
"unlimited bacon but no games?" i smirk at him.
he stares with a frozen, half-shocked grin.
"or games, unlimited games... but no games?"

"wow... she knew exactly where it was going. schlatt how do you feel about that?" ted asks as schlatt stares still like a statue.

"what's you answer?" he says, hushed.

"unlimited games, no games."

"god i knew i chose you for a reason." he dramatically grabs my face and we kiss ridiculously.

"oh come on guys, give the crew a break!" charlie laughs.

and so we record again, strictly professional. by the end of the podcast, we can't keep our eyes off each other and have to force ourselves to be civil.

"alright, that's the first one done.." ted sighs, "bulgogi anyone? i am pooped, and you guys look... insane."

we smile back at him, clinging together.