DISCLAIMER: THIS BOOK IS FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. THERE IS NO HATE INTENDED THROUGH THIS. (also this is a crack book it isn't serious)
ᴴᵉʳ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵇʳᵒᵏᵉⁿ. ᴮᵘᵗ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵃ ᵇᵒᵗ. ˢʰᵉ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ. ʸᵉᵗ, ˢᵒᵐᵉʰᵒʷ, ʰᵉʳ ᵘⁿ⁻ᵉˣⁱˢᵗⁱⁿᵍ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵇʳᵒᵏᵉⁿ.
be...
EA was appalled by what Hirto had asked her. Hirto had looked her in the eye, asked her to marry him and then tried to kiss her. She instantly got up and ran out of the house. She kept running and running, till she reached a dark house full of cockroaches. She stopped there to catch her breath and saw Hirto standing a few meters away from her. She was speechless. Hirto tried to explain himself but EA wouldn't listen. She decided to call off any form of relationship they had. "At least let me drive you back home," Hirto said, desperately trying to save their boondi. EA mindlessly agreed, yet again. Hirto led her towards a car and they got in. He started up the engine. They drove off.
"Is this a good time to tell you I can't drive?" Hirto said.
EA nervously chuckled. She knew that she would be in deep soup. Hirto didn't know how to drive so he kept missing the turns and dashing into lamp posts. The original owner of the car, James Charles, found them and started chasing them. He kept shouting, "WHO THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS?! GET OUT OF MY DAMN CAR! DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW COSTLY IT WAS TO APPLY MAKEUP ON IT?!"
The cardoes look pretty though EA thought.
"Is that James Charles?" EA asked, astonished.
"Um, I guess so?" Hirto replied while frantically trying to dodge a goat trying to cross the street.
No wonder the car looked familiar EA thought to herself. She remembered when she and Oily had run away from James. She felt sad because she missed Oily, but then immediately felt mad at herself for feeling that way. She glanced at Hirto. Should I tell him about my past? She wondered. As if reading her mind, Hirto asked "By the way, I don't really know anything about you. Can you tell me something about what you did before you met me? I'm sure you felt empty without me though, so it's fine if it's not interesting."
EA gulped. She opened her mouth to speak but just then James beeped his horn and sent ducks flying into Hirto's windshield.
"Maybe we should focus on more important things for now!" EA yelped out.
She noticed a speed bump up ahead. She opened her mouth to tell him to slow down but it was too late. They flew over the road and crashed into a hole.
James Charles stopped above them. He looked down. "I'VE GOTCHA NOW SUCKERSSS!" he said.
"How are you gonna get us though? We're stuck in a hole." Hirto reminded him. Then Jaywhypee#1290 appeared. He started dancing to his #zeroautotunesong. (stan jay why pee oppar).
"wAe kUrOcHi JeE mOlAaeAAaAA! WAe kUrOcHi jEe mOlAaAaaAaAAA!" He sang.
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James Charles sashayed over to Jay why pee, took off his shoe and smacked him in the face.
"mOlAaAaAaA!" Jay why pee screamed.
James Charles turned towards Hirto and EA.
"Today's sponsor is Grammarly. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it could be better. Write stories to inspire. Buy Grammarly premium for $100,000 only! Use Grammarly for 2% off by clicking the link in the description, or use the code ILOVECOWSMOOMOO6969! Get grammarly now!"
There was silence.
Then Jay why pee started mooing.
"Can't you see I'm with my bae right now? Stop ruining the moment." Hirto said, pointing at EA.
"Ahem- Bae? I'm not your Bae, please stop." EA said getting uncomfortable. Suddenly James Charles ran over to his car and pressed a big red button. It ejected Hirto out of the driver's seat and James ran into the car and drove off with EA. While they were driving, Hirto ran behind them yelling at them to stop.
"I'll drop you off at the server you live in, sister!" James said.
5 minutes later they were at the Kpop Community. James dropped EA there and drove off.
She entered only to see that 5 people had applied for staff. She quickly went to work asking them questions and then submitted their responses to the staff.
One person had applied for Maknae. She was Tixie#1076.
"THE MAKNAE ROLE IS NOT AVAILABLE, AND IT NEVER WILL BE!" Avika, the current Maknae yelled and pressed the deny button as fast as she could.
Hirto arrived thirty minutes later, panting
"Why did you leave me? I thought you were my bae." He said.
"I don't think I want to date you." EA replied.
Hirto needed to date EA, so he thought of something on the spot.
"Listen, we're like cherries on a sundae. We're like peanut butter and jelly. We're like- We're like- mashed potatoes and pudding!" Hirto said.
"Um, I don't think anyone eats mashed potatoes and pudding," EA said in disgust.
"That isn't the point. The point is we're perfect together and I think you'd be missing out on something if we weren't together."
"You think we're that perfect?" EA asked.
"Yes..." Hirto replied.
"In that case....I guess we can date." EA said.
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