Possessive (Completed)

This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

     Asher flipped the collar of his grey north face up as the rain pounded down around his ears. The sky was clouded without a hint of blue, and the wind howled in the distance. A storm was brewing in the distance, and it was likely that practice would be cancelled. That was good, because Asher wasn't sure he could still face the team after acting so selfishly the day prior. Asher hated Shea with a burning passion, but there were sure to be questions about where the dark haired boy had gone, questions that Asher didn't feel like answering.

     What happened to his rival was truly none of his concern, but what truly bit at him was the daunting task of trying to smooth things over with Simon. Simon had gotten close to Shea, which was why Shea had to go in the first place, and Asher was sure he'd have a hard time explaining that fact to Simon. Shea was bad news and Asher knew it, the boy was fake, flaky, and downright not good enough for his Simon, and Asher couldn't understand why Simon didn't see it that way. Hell, Simon had even been caught kissing Shea. Asher knew that Simon never should have been kissing that snake, and that if Simon should kiss anyone it should be Asher.

     Asher knew he was possessive, and needy, and arrogant, and overbearing, and hot headed, he knew it, and he hated it, like he hated every inch of himself. Truly Asher despised himself more than anyone, and thought himself almost as unworthy of Simon as Shea, but he was stuck. Asher was like a person with legs trapped under a boulder, fully alert, but unable to move. Asher was aware of all his many faults, but just wasn't able to find a way to change himself.

     When Asher reached the school, the parking lot was nearly completely empty, as it often was when he arrived. Asher's mother was unstable at best, and he tried to be gone by the time she woke up, and up until the time she went to sleep. Disposing of people seemed to be one of the things Asher was actually good at, he'd gotten rid of his father, scared off Simon, and now removed Shea. As good as he was at pushing people away, he was incapable of getting people to stay. That made sense to him, he wasn't deserving of that type of person, the kind of person that stayed. 

     Asher pulled his football kit from his trunk and made the rainy trek into the gym, hoping to get some exercise in before going to his class. When he got there he was surprised to see that the gym lights were already on. He groaned to himself, hoping he wouldn't have to share the space with another teammate. Inside he saw the coach with an unpleasant look on his face. Normally the coach was one of the last people to arrive at the school, but there he was sat in his office. The older man looked up and grimaced, then motioned for Asher to enter the room.

     "Sit down, boy." The coaches voice boomed. "Do you know a Sophomore named Simon Matthews?"

     "Uh.. Yes. Yes I do, why?" Asher's brows furrowed.

     "Because he reported to me yesterday that you've been bullying our former team member, Shea O'Connor. Says you threatened him, and made him feel unwelcome. Now I wouldn't do anything about unsubstantiated claims such as these so close to the playoffs, but then your brother Kit, and teammate Garrett both confirmed the same accounts, and now we've got a problem on our hands."

     "You don't think that I..." Asher began.

     "I don't know what to think, Ericsson. Why would your brother say it if it wasn't true. Now I know you're a good kid, but even good kids are capable of bad things, that combined with other reports of your behavior being less than stellar means my hands are tied by the administration. You're off as team captain, and benched for the next week." The coach stated firmly.

     "No!" Asher rose from his chair, "You can't do that!"

     "Look. It's just one game, and the administration won't drop it if I don't do something, we have a zero tolerance policy for hazing." The coach rubbed his forehead, "This hurts me more than it hurts you, so close to the end like this."

      "Please.. football is my life.." Asher whispered weakly.

     "I'm sorry. I really am. Just lay low for a few days, get your behavior back under control, and we can quietly reinstate you as captain for the championship. If I make a stink now, we won't be able to fix this later. I've picked Garrett as your replacement, you like him, and he's a good kid, he'll do a good job until your back on you feet."

     "But-" Asher began.

    "Go. It doesn't bode well for you that just two days ago you reported Shea for living in a different district. It doesn't make you look like the nicest friend to the boy. You're just going to have to accept that this is the best deal you're going to get." The coach nodded towards the door signaling there was no room for discussion, and Asher lowered his glare and grabbed his bag, storming out of the gym.

     Asher spoke to no one for the entirety of the day. Thankfully practice was cancelled due to the lightening, so Asher had a grace period before he'd have to go and explain everything to everyone. His head was a mess with anger and solitude as he muddled through the day. Without football he just didn't even feel like himself. He felt like someone else all together. Asher tried to avoid the empty feeling he got from rejections. Perhaps he never shared because that almost always led to rejection. If Asher let Simon be around Shea, the boy would realize that he preferred Shea to Asher and leave Asher behind. Similarly if Garrett got to be team captain the coach would decide that Garrett was a better player than Asher, and a better leader too. If that happened then Asher could kiss being the starter goodbye. He liked being the team star, it made him feel special for once in his whole life. Of course so he'd gone and screwed it up like he always did.

     Simon held a black umbrella over both him and Kit as they sat on a park bench. Asher noticed the pair almost immediately after he emerged from the school. Kit had arranged to go home with Simon's brother Liam the night before, and now Asher knew why. That was a good choice on Kit's part.

     "Hey." Asher marched up to them, and Simon stood up as he approached. "What the hell?" Simon's face was stone, and he was nothing of the weak little boy Asher had seen just a few weeks earlier.

     "Someone had to take you down a peg." Kit said lazily as he sat on the bench, not bothering to look up at Asher.

     "How could you?" Asher pleaded with Simon, whom he thought the more sympathetic of the two options. Kit was their mother's favorite, and Asher and him had a strange relationship due to that fact. "Football is all I have."

     "Maybe..." Simon began, "Maybe football was all Shea had." Asher flinched, "And if he has to sit out the entire season because of you, it seems only fair that you should have to sit out at least one game." A car not far from the group honked its horn, and the window rolled down to reveal Liam. The former quarterback had a huge smile on his face, and waved victoriously at Asher. "Liam is here, let's go Kit." Simon turned and began walking to the car, then turned back when he reached the door. "Call me... if you'd like to talk. If not I just want you to know this hurts me more than it hurts you."

     "Like hell it does." Asher mumbled, shoving his hands into his sweatshirt pockets as the beat up old car pulled from the school driveway. "Like hell it does." He repeated to himself.