Playing With Fire (Sebastian Vettel)

9. The Pain in Spain

Mollie slid her sunglasses on and pulled her cap onto her head.  She'd just arrived at the circuit in Barcelona for media day.  The media were all trying to get a picture of her.  She was the hot topic.  Was Mollie Rashford going to be the same as before?  All she wanted was to tell them to fuck off and leave her alone but she obviously couldn't do that, so she was just going to dart past them as quickly as she could and not talk to them other than at the official press conference. 

Ash put his hand under her elbow and guided her past the gathered journalists. She fixed her eyes straight ahead.  She heard one call out a question about Seb.  She tensed up. 

"Come on Mols, just focus.  We're nearly at the motorhome," said Ash.   Mollie was relieved when they finally entered the motorhome door.  She sank onto a chair, sighing with relief. 

"Coffee Mols?"  Ash asked her. She nodded, smiling at him. He really had been her rock since last summer.  She didn't know what she'd do without him. 

The door opened again and Sophia entered.

"They really don't get any better, do they?" she said, gesturing outside at the press. 

"Yeah, sorry about that. I think they're waiting for me," Mollie apologised. 

"They bugging you babe?"

"I expected it.  They can fuck off. I'm not answering any questions about Elena, the accident or Seb.  If they ask them in press conference, all they'll get is no comment."

"Don't blame you."

"I'm here to race, not to entertain everyone with the disaster my life has become."

Sophia gave a little laugh.  She'd missed Mollie so much and was so glad to have her back as her teammate. 

"Mollie, don't get comfy," Cassie called from the far side of the room.  "You and Sophia are up first in the press conference."  Mollie groaned. 

"Mols, at least you'll get it out of the way," Ash told her.  She nodded in agreement.

"I guess so.  How long have I got Cassie?" 

"Quarter of an hour. Then after that,  track walk.  Then seat fit.  You know the drill."

Mollie gave Cassie a thumbs up and took a sip out of her coffee.  It was time to get the show on the road. 

                                    ***

Seb was struggling to keep his mind on what his race engineer, Chris, was saying to him on the track walk.  He knew that Mollie would be at the circuit now. 

He needed to see her. He'd tried to contact her at her parents' house after he'd got back from Australia but when he'd arrived there,  he found out that her parents were on holiday and Mollie wasn't staying there anyway, according to the neighbours. 

He had no idea where to find her.  He'd tried her old number but it was still going straight to voicemail.  She'd obviously changed it permenantly. 

So he had no choice but to try and talk to her at the circuit.  He didn't want to cause a scene. The press would love that.  Maybe the best way would be to contact Cassie to act as mediator and arrange a meeting. 

The Formula W drivers would be doing their press conferences right about now.  He could just imagine the questions Mollie would get.  A lot like the ones he'd got in Australia he expected.  Asking about their relationship, or rather lack of one. 

"Seb, are you even listening to me?" Chris asked him. 

"Sorry Chris. I was in a world of my own."

"Seb, try to pay attention.  I know you've got a lot on your mind with Mollie but this is important."

"I know. I'm sorry."   Seb cursed under his breath.  He couldn't let this get to him.  He forced himself to concentrate on the track walk.  Chris was right.  It was important.  Mollie could wait til later. 

                                 ***

In the end Mollie had ended up saying "No comment"  more times than she could count.  She hoped that this wasn't going to be a regular occurrence.  She never wanted to talk about that day again.  She was trying to move on with her life.  And as for Seb, that was no one else's business apart from theirs. 

She joined Joel and the others for the track walk.  As they were heading onto the  track she spotted a familiar face just finishing theirs.

"Mollie, Mollie, Mollie, oi, oi, oi!"

"Luca! How's you doing?"

"Better for seeing you babe! Give us a hug Rashford!"  Mollie ran into his arms and hugged him tight.   "You ok?" he asked, seriously. 

"I will be Luca.  I will be.  I need to do this.  Once I've faced the past,  I can face my future."

"It's great to see you girl.  I've got to go but let's catch up soon yeah?"  She nodded and rejoined her team.  She'd really missed Luca. 

"Come on Mols, keep up," called  Joel.  Mollie smiled and followed him towards the next turn. 

                                  ***

Seb hesitated before pressing send.  There.  It was done.  He'd just messaged Cassie asking her to set up a meeting between him and Mollie, if Mollie was willing. He sat watching his phone screen, waiting for an answer.  Five minutes passed. Then ten.  Maybe she hadn't seen the message yet.  Maybe she hadn't been able to get hold of Mollie yet to ask her.  Fifteen minutes passed.  Twenty.  No reply. 

What did he have to do to get in touch with Mollie?  At this rate he'd just have to turn up at the TBR motorhome and to hell with the consequences.

His phone beeped.  He opened the message. 

Cassie:  Seb, it's not going to happen.  I'm under instructions to not even mention your name.  She doesn't want to speak to you.  She doesn't even want to see you.  Stay away from her.  She doesn't need the stress. She's been through hell and she's not through it yet.  She doesn't need you messing her head up any more.  I think you said enough in Abu Dhabi.  I mean it. Just leave her the fuck alone.

He hung his head down.  Did Mollie really hate him that much?   He guessed he had no choice.  He had to give up.  He didn't want to mess with her head any more. He loved her and he wanted her to be happy, even if that meant letting her go.  

The trouble was he couldn't just stop loving her.  He'd tried that for the last fifteen months and got nowhere.  He was born to love Mollie Rashford.  That's just how it was. 

Maybe one day she'd be ready to forgive him.  Until then he just had to hang in there and hope for the best.