Love and Calamity | Jeon Jungkook

10

Jungkook woke up with something heavy laying on his stomach. He looked down to see Yeojin sitting in front of the couch with her head rested on his lower abdomen. 

She was wearing a pair of his shorts and one of his t-shirts looking as beautiful as ever. There was a fan blowing on the two of them and she was shivering from the cold air.

Jungkook removed the blanket from his lower body and wrapped it around her before placing a pillow over himself.

"I told her she could take the guest room — but she wanted to stay with you in case you woke up in the middle of the night," His mom's silky voice spoke from the doorway of the living room with a cup of coffee in her hand. "She's a sweet girl, Kook."

"I know," Jungkook smiled. "When'd you get here?"

"Around two a.m. She called me because she didn't know what to do. Kook, why'd you refuse to go to the hospital? She almost had a panic attack."

"What's the use in that? They can't help me. They don't even know what's wrong with me."

"But if something happened to you at the hospital, she wouldn't feel like it was at her hands. She was terrified that you wouldn't wake up and she said if you didn't it was her fault for not taking you to the hospital. You can't do that to her, Kook. I thought you told her about it, anyway?"

Jungkook's fingers ran through Yeojin's hair as he stared at her sleeping figure. Her mouth was slightly parted and drool had seeped onto his stomach. Her eyebrows furrowed every so often as if she was having a bad dream and her hand that rested on his torso would unconsciously caress his chest, making his heart skip multiple beats.

"What can I tell her? 'Oh, I have some unknown illness that could kill me any day.'"

"Um, yes. You shouldn't keep things like this from people you care about. You need to prepare her for it in case something does happen to you," His mother fussed. "Jungkook, she loves you."

"What?"

"She loves you, son. It doesn't take a scientist to see that," She looked down into her mug of coffee and shook her head. "She's absolutely crazy about you."

Jungkook looked at the beauty that laid across his lower body once again. His chest began to tighten as he got ready to vocalize the feelings he had for her for a while, "Mom," He whimpered. "I think I love her too."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"You don't understand. I want to marry her. I want to have kids with her and I want to be able to hold and love her forever — but I can't. I don't want to love her and I don't want her to love me. It'll only make it harder for her to say goodbye. I'm not going to be here long enough to start my life with her."

"You don't know that honey," Mrs. Jeon shook her head while taking a sip of her coffee. "No one knows anything about your illness. You're going to live as long as you let yourself."

His mom walked over to him and wiped the tears from his face, "What if that doesn't happen though? What if I make her mine and then I die? It'll hurt her way more than if I died as her friend."

"It would hurt exactly the same — because whether you're together or not, the love she has for you will always be the same."

"How can we be together if I might die soon? She wants to get married and have kids. I'd just waste her time because she won't be able to get that from me. It'd be selfish of me to marry her and get her pregnant just to die and leave her alone with our kids."

"People die, Jungkook. That's just a chance you two are gonna have to take if you really love each other. And again, you don't know if you're actually going to die. The doctors are running tests," She said. "Now take her upstairs. She looks uncomfortable."

"Yeojin?" A voice called out as her body was being shaken by two large hands. "Please wake up, I can't wait any longer."

Yeojin stretched and turned around without opening her eyes. She wrapped her arm around the person that was trying so desperately to wake her up. They sighed and melted in her embrace for a moment before shaking her again.

Yeojin's eyes finally opened and she glared into Jungkook's, "What?"

"I need to talk to you about something important. I don't want to push this off any longer than I already have." Yeojin sat up at the serious tone in his voice and looked at him with worry in her eyes.

"What happened?"

"Yeojin, I'm sick," He bluntly stated. Tears welled into his eyes as he moved his gaze to his fingers. "I'm really sick and the doctors don't know what's wrong. They don't even know if it'll kill me or not — but they say it's a large chance that it will."

Yeojin grabbed Jungkook's hands with tears in her eyes as well, "Jungkook-"

"That's not all," He cut her off. "I love you. I really love you and I want to be able to experience love with you before it's too late. I was always scared to love someone again. I didn't think it was possible and I didn't think I'd want to marry someone and have kids with them until I fell in love with you. Please just give me a chance to love you! I promise I'll do anything to make sure I stay alive for you. I'll get the best doctors to find out what's wrong with me. Please, be with me."

Yeojin grabbed Jungkook's face and stared into his teary eyes. Both of their eyes sparkled with sadness and love as they gazed into those of the other, "I love you too, Jungkook."

Of course, it hurt to find out about his illness — but she loved him and if he could die at any given time, they had to cherish the time they had together.

Yeojin pressed their lips together softly before pulling away. Jungkook leaned in again and pecked her lips vehemently over and over with tears streaming down his face, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He felt guilty. He felt so guilty that she was willing to be with him even though his time with her wasn't promised. They'd probably never be able to get married and they'd probably never have kids which were her biggest dreams.

She was giving up everything she wanted for him and it hurt him so damn bad.

They cried in each other's arms, not even thinking about letting go.