Maylor One Shots

Afraid

Warning: Mentions of sexual abuse. 

AU: The storyline might be kind of messed up and I don’t even know if it makes sense now. Also, this one is pretty sad. And it’s quite long. Enjoy. :) By the way, I am not sure if I portrayed trauma correctly. I am really sorry if it isn’t accurate.

*Roger’s POV*

  “Come on, Rog! Let’s go to the treehouse!”

  Both of us were holding a bag of random things. Mostly snacks and liquor. We would usually go up there and hang out. We would talk about lots of stuff like music, things he saw with his new telescope, some memories…… 

  We also did a lot of things, such as singing songs, reading, stargazing, snacking while playing some stupid games, and… practice hugging and kissing. And that, was the thing that bothered me the most whenever he invited me to the treehouse.

  There was once we were at the treehouse just chilling. We were sitting side to side lazily. It was very silent. The only sounds to be heard were the wind blowing in the trees, a few birds chirping, and some crickets making noises. At one point, Brian decided to break the silence.

  “Rog. Are you awake?”

  “Yeah,” I yawned. “What is it?”

  “I want to do something,” A few seconds passed by. “But I need to ask you a question, and I also need to ask for your permission.”

  It must be serious then. He had never been this sincere when asking about helping him out with something. I turned to face him.

  “Rog, I need you to be frank with me.” He bit his lip. “Have you ever kissed before? Aside from your family, and, on your lips?”

  Woah. What? I wasn’t expecting that at all. I could feel myself become nervous. I averted my eyes away from him and just said “yes” even though that wasn’t the truth. I couldn’t believe how stupid that was. Like, it was just a question. It was just your best friend asking you. Why did you have to be so afraid about telling the truth?

  I just couldn’t face the fact that I was into my best friend more than I thought. Like, I had always known that I would be nervous around boys more than girls, but I never thought that I would feel these “butterflies” in my stomach when I am near him.

  It felt weird to me. Every time we hang out together, I always felt like I needed to hide something from him. I couldn’t be my true self. Because I was scared if he were to find out that I constantly think about small moments when we accidentally touch each other, or have some kind of “flirtatious” moments, he might think that I was disgusting and our relationship wouldn’t be as good as it used to be.

  He smiled looking at my reaction. I was blushing. I knew it and I hated it. Also, probably my whole face looked anxious. Oh, my God, what was I going to do?

 “Um, well……”

 “There is nothing to be shy about even if you’ve never had a kiss.” He placed a hand on my upper arm, in an attempt to calm me down. What he didn’t know was that he was making the situation even more difficult.

  “I have never been kissed like that before…” I quietly said. Gosh, stop thinking about him going to pull you in right now and just hold you in his arms.

  “Me neither. I do want to ask you something, though.” He cleared his throat. “Can… this might sound a little crazy, but… can we both be kissing practice partners?”