Darkness

6

I was too exhausted to stand up from bed and so the living room window was left to rest for the night.

The wisp of the wind touched the trees outside and the melody made me oblivious to my soul. I drowned into oblivion, where bad dreams awaited me.

I couldn't keep my attention for anything or anyone. I could tell my parents were concerned but I was too tired to care. I couldn't think about anyone's feelings, not even my own. Anxiety ate me up whole. I barely spoke anymore. Within my despair I grew one year older, but happiness ran from me like I wasn't meant to be. And... eventually, the days weren't forgiving anymore.

I brought myself back from neverland, every morning. I bathed, I got dressed, I barely ate, and I got myself to school. This was what I knew, it was what I had before the void's arise, every night. However, one morning felt simply different.

I turned around after closing the front door and the hair at the back of my neck rose, like on that night where the monster wasn't inside my closet, but behind me. Frozen in place, I looked around. I saw no one, only the trees sang. But I felt it, and I wondered if the darkness discovered me in the day. Although the sun rained on my skin it was the wind that wet it with coldness.

I took a silent step and waited for fait to arrive. My eyes darted around for purpose but only the trees danced. Nevertheless, I still had that feeling. It was new to my loneliness and maybe it was better than to feel alone. And so, I held it close to my chest, hopeful.

I shook the fear off my shoulders, walked off my doorstep, thorough the driveway into the sidewalk and looked over my shoulder, all the way to school. But that sensation didn't fade, so throughout the classes I searched out of the window. I wondered if it was looking at me, if it saw me all this time, if it knew I wanted it to invade me.

I ate outside so it could find me, I stared out of every window so it wouldn't lose me. I walked back home with hope it would show me a new world. I stared out the living room window, so it knew I was ready. And finally, I fell into sleep when hope worn out.

The fog consumed me, and that night, I didn't run. I didn't search. I fell... I fell to the wet grainy ground covered by leaves. As I felt faith die within me, a few tears ran down my flustered cheeks and I wondered when if I ever cried.

For the first time, I heard something. Leaves being dragged though the hearth. The blinding fog prevented me from fulfilment, but hopelessness wasn't strong enough, as the steps came looking for me.

They stopped behind my back while I was still curled up on the ground. My mussels hurt as I used them to stand. It was painful to move from my mediocrity, although my chest filled up with air again and strength came back.

Same hight, same clothes, same hair. He stood in front of me again. Only this time he stared at the ground, and I couldn't see his pale face, or his frightened eyes. Nonetheless, I did what I wanted to do all those nights he didn't see me. I hugged him. I hugged my monster, my treasure. He didn't move, he didn't shiver. Then I felt a wet, warm and somewhat viscous fluid at my shoulder, where his chin rested, as it ran down my back whist it turned cold.

I pulled away from the boy to see him whole. He didn't move and inch, only his head that rested on my shoulder, tilted shingly, like he was a lifeless doll. The blood dripped out from my back, returning to the hearth, as it did from his chin. His curls still partially covered his eyes, while the other half of his face was covered by blood. He stared straight through me, and even then, when I could touch him, he didn't see me.

I whispered for his name, but he was lifeless. I stepped close to him again, I stared into his eyes and whispered if he could see me. With the deafening silence I acquired my answers.

I took my hand and touched his face. Both were warm, the blood and his skin. I tried to clean out the blood with my pyjamas and I whispered for him to wake up.

My brain told me he couldn't talk, because I've never heard his voice. And I was sad to acknowledge that it was just a dream.

I took his hand in mine and wished he could hear me. My other hand took away the curls from his eyes and I prayed for him to see me. I told him my name and hoped he would tell me his. But he didn't see me, or hear me, or feel me. And even with him here I was alone. So, I shook him and told him I was lonely. And I let a few more tears escape me and so did he.

I didn't know what to feel when I woke up. It was a miserable dream. But maybe he did feel me, maybe he did hear me and see me. Maybe I was the one not seeing him.

I still felt someone watching, in the following days, only never to find them, which only made me feel lonelier during the days. Thus, for how much stupid it sounded, I searched for the night.

Author's Note: 

Do you think her dreams mean something? >.>

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