Darkness

7

The last year passed without me noticing, between the tenacious nightmares and unforgiving days, life seemed to stop. My quietness frightened my parents as they sent me off to therapy again. And while the nightmares faded with time, my loneliness persisted.

Birthdays were always the same. Me, my parents and cake. My heart ached with the love they gave me, and I couldn't provide.

I remember it rained; on that hot summer day, and for some reason, my parents seemed more excited than usual. I didn't mind it. I sat on our couch, that was now placed fronting the window, and I stared at the rain drops sliding though the glass. I zoned out to the sound of my parents' steps behind me and the melody of the rain. In that moment, life seemed so simple. For a split second I had known peace, but my brain turned on, the thoughts came again, and my chest felt heavier.

The rest of the day was normal. We ate the cake my dad made, we laughed at old stories, played games, watched TV... The only thing different was that they said they would give me my present "tomorrow".

That was the last day I dreamed of the boy. Again, on the fogy forest, he stood still looking at the ground with his hair covering his face. Like I normally did, I approached him to clean the blood, but this time, the blood covered his whole expression. I tried my best, with the fabric of my pyjamas; but as I tried to clean it, his features wouldn't form, like I was wiping it away. I realized his face was fading away, I was forgetting. That made me sad, I had hope he would talk to me. Except, that was confirmation he was a product of my mind.

I gave up on trying to get rid of the blood and stared at him as the blood dripped to the ground.

I tried to remember if he had freckles, but I didn't know. I tried to remember if his eyelashes were long, but I didn't know. I tried to remember if his lips were thin, but I didn't know.

I was mad at myself. So many nights I stared at him, hoping he would satisfy my wishes, but I was the one not seeing him. I was only looking for my own gratification. I probably didn't even care about him; about how sad he was. I just wanted him to talk. And now my precious mystery was vanishing.

I was angry because I would never know, I was sad because my life would be normal, and I was disappointed because I was meaningless.

I screamed at him to give me meaning, I shouted for him not to leave me. And I woke up. It was still the middle of the night. The moon told me so, as its presence entered through the windows. It had stopped raining, and the wind was sleeping. I forced myself to sleep, I didn't want him to escape. Although I didn't have a melody to help me sleep, I eventually caved. However, I dreamt of nothing. Unconsciously I blamed my therapist. Now I would only know loneliness and mediocrity. My selfish desire faded within my own mind, and I was outraged I let it wither. I wanted to have carved in my brain every single detail of his temple, so I could feast on it forever. It was madness, I know, but it was what I had at the time.

Tomorrow came and with it my gift was revealed. Vacations. Away from the rest of what I still had. Destiny wanted to tease me and show me its power, while ripping me away from my palace of psychosis.

Of course, I couldn't tell my parents no, or be ungrateful. I smiled and said thank you. I knew it would escape now. I wasn't there to prevent it. I would come back to a palace of nothingness, and I had to live through it. My dear darkness was leaving me.

I never thought it would turn out that way, as I turned sixteen and summer came, so did a new life.

Author's Note: 

Please vote if you enjoy the story!

Notifications have been weird on wattpad, but I do an announcement every time I publish a new chapter. So if you're interested on knowing when new chapters are coming out follow the account. :)

I might be publishing part 2 today also!!!

p.s. have you forgotten someone's face before?