Scars // ~Muke~

Hurt

**Mikey's POV.**

I sat alone by myself in my room on a Wednesday night. I started to write in my journal after I had read all the great things Luke had left in it when I was in the hospital.

Dear Journal,
Why did I have to wake up? Why am I here? I am disgusted with myself. People are already a starting to say stuff on social media. Some people, but very few, are saying nice things about me. But the majority of the people are saying horrible things like,
"He shouldn't of woke up."
"I bet he did all of this for attention."
"Fag."
"Him and that kid Luke are gross."
"I bet Luke vomited when he went down on Michael. Michael is disgusting."
All the hate started to boil up around yesterday because Jack had told everyone that I didn't accept his apology. God for bid anyone ever disrespect Jack the asshole. I mean it's literally in his name. Jack- Ass. It's really fucked up how our school works. Whatever one of the popular kids don't like, everybody else doesn't like too. Whatever the popular kid does like they do like. It's fucking bullshit.
And what the fuck? Luke has never went down on me. We have never even had sex. But I wouldn't be surprised if he does vomit when he dies go down on me.. or if he even does. Whatever I'm done talking about this. Anyways... I know that I shouldn't and I haven't done it in over a month... I haven't done it since the night I tried to...ya know...
I am sitting here on my bed right now twirling a blade in my fingers. I am going to use it. I know I shouldn't but I need some relief. It's been so long since I've felt the small sharp blade glide through my skin. I need that feeling again. I need it.