The wrong number that saved me

Natasha's Pov

Clint.
I don't know what worked bad in this mission. I did everything right. I shoot with precision all the AIM agents, i took the data... like in the plan. But the plan didn't contained the part where Clint was hurt. I ran next to him and check for a pulse even though he looked and was dead. But i couldn't convince my brain to accept that fact. I looked for a pulse that i know it wouldn't be there.
"Clint, Clint! Wake up, Clinton! What would Laura think?"
"It should have been you! You are the one who has red in her ledger!" i turned and saw Laura crying. She was wearing a black outfit.
"I tried-"
"It's all your fault!" Laura shouted at me.
"Auntie Nat, when will be daddy home?" Lila asked me. What could i say to the little girl. How i am supposed to look in her eyes and tell her that her father won't come home.
"Come on, Natasha! Tell her!" Laura almost ordered me. Her cold tone send chills to my spine.
"TELL HER!"
Everything became blurry from the tears in my eyes.
"C-Clint won't... won't come home, s-s-sweetie." my voice broke. i tried to say more, but nothing came out of my mouth. I tried to speak, but my voice was gone.
"Why?" the girl asked me.
"Because of her! It's her fault that now I'm a widow!" Laura shouted again. "Clint shouldn't have trusted you!" she said, took Lila by her hand and left.
"Clint I'm sorry!It's all my fault, it's all my fault, IT'S ALL MY FAULT. "

"Aaaaaaa!" i screamed when i woke up. Another nightmare. I was all sweaty and my pillow was wet. I think i cried in my sleep. Also my throat felt painful. Maybe i screamed in my sleep too. I was shivering and trying to calm my breaths. I was taking big breaths, but still, i didn't feel any air in my lungs. I couldn't breathe. The walls coming closer were not helping me to breathe. Suddenly, my phone rang and i stumbled to take it. My hands were shaking too bad.I look at the screen. Unknown number? I open the message app and the unknown person needed help. He or she was bleeding from a stab wound. Who gets stabbed accidentally? I will ask the person later. I instruct him or her how to take care of the wound.Now that he is alright, i must find out why he can go to a hospital and more.What's a guy in the chair. Thief? Drug dealer? What explanation would be for him or her to be stabbed at 3 am. From one of his texts i found out his name is Peter. The person doesn't know not to share private information. Stranger danger? Omg, I'm talking with a kid!He knows how to write, so maybe he is 5.Clint's daughter knew to write at 5 years old.He already has a phone? Irresponsible parents? Maybe that's why he was stabbed at 3 am. Do his parents know this or they did it? Because he is little, he is easier to interrogate. Shit! Shit! Shit! His parents are dead. What do i say to fix it? No, apparently the fact tham my parents are also dead didn't help. Fuck! Fuck! i made a 5 year old cry. And i almost sweared in the texts. I yawned, i must go back to sleep and let him on read. He's 15!?He should stop telling me personal info. I'm a stranger. O my god, he's threatening me with gummy bears! I can't stop laughing! Maybe I'm tired,but he is funny. Ok, i will play his game. Apparently, I'm dead because i was attacked by gummy bears. I can stop my laugh. He even send a message with a tombstone and a face with a flower, so cute. Ahh, i must be sleep deprived 'cause i just told him my gender . Nah, it's not that late,we didn't talked that much? I started laughing again. He named me Ms. Not a kidnapper. I can't believe this child. If this is how he is playing....
Now he is asking me how much he costs?This child. I decide to answer him to the question . I'm not a cop, but I'm not telling him I'm an Avenger. I yawned again. That was the 6th time. How late was? I looked at the phone watch. Was 5:30!I talked 2 hours and a half with the child. Shit, he has school tomorrow. He named me mom. He did not just. Unbelievable, he named me mom and left. I look at the screen. How's this kid?

I opened my eyes, hearings some knocking at the door. Apparently, i fell asleep, my phone still in my hand. I get up and open the door.
"I woke you up? Nat, is 8 am? Are you alright?" Clint said.
8AM!I slept so much! Bye-bye my gym training.
"I'm fine." i tried to say but my voice was hoarse from rhe screaming last night. Now he looked worried at me.
"Tasha, what happened with your voice?"
I can tell him that every night I have nightmares and panic attacks. And that's why my room was soundproof. Since i moved with the Avengers, i had nightmares with all of them dying. Of course the ones with my Red room days didn't ended.Sometimes its a mix between Red Room and Avengers. I had a nightmare when Madame B. put me to kill the Avengers. It was so bad. I couldn't close my eyes for 4 days. And Clint has a family. He can't babysit me and i don't want him to do. Of course, when we  were both at the Hellcarrier, he used to comfort me when i had nightmares.... but that was long time ago.
And i can't let the Avengers see me weak. I don't want their pity. So, i lied Clint  when we moved at the Tower that i feel like in a family and i don't have nightmares anymore. No one knows my room is soundproof. I made the setting myself. Maybe Jarvis knows, but he is AI, so it doesn't matter. Now, let me see what lie i tell him.
"I think i ate something cold to fast. One of my green smoothies." Please believe me.
"Nat, your voice sounds so bad. Maybe Bruce could check it. I don't think you can go to Fury's meeting. You should rest."
"Just I know what I can do! I'm fine. I'm going" i close my eyes at the pain. It hurts to speak and i thought  shouting at Clint wouldn't hurt. I regret that. I close my door in his face.