Danganronpa V3 x Male reader

I'm sorry

Y/N POV: I fell asleep on the other side of Kiyo's bed after some debate. I haven't slept so uncomfortably in a long time, it wasn't even because I was sleeping in someone else's dorm. The amount of guilt that I was feeling kept me up, I was too scared to tell Kiyo what he and I were doing was wrong, I simply couldn't. It was my choice to help him with the murder so now I have to stick with it. But once I fell asleep, my guilt and fear stuck with me.

"Y/N...don't you care about us?" "Why did you do it?" "Did you really mean so little to you?" "How pathetic of me to think that I could ever believe in you." "Even as an assassin, I would never have done something so heartless." "You really are a loner! Clinging to life and your one friend like an annoying leech!" "I-I'm sorry! I...I didn't know that it would turn out like this!! I-It's my fault! Everything that happened was my fault! I-I'm sorry Angie! I-I'm sorry H-Himiko!" I yelled, it felt like everything that had once built me up crumbled from underneath me. I had told myself that I wouldn't care what the others thought of me, I guess it was just a lie, I...don't want everyone to die and...I don't want Kiyo to die either. I acted so calmly when I found Kiyo standing above the once alive Angie, I guess I was still in shock, but...I can feel it settling in now, fear. That's all I can feel. I...don't want him to die, I don't want him to die, I don't want him to die. Everyone is going to hate me, Himiko, Shuichi, Kaito, Gonta. Everyone is going to think that I am just as worse as the people that broke me back then. Why didn't I stop it? Why didn't I stop Kiyo from killing Angie? Was I too scared? I'm such a coward, n-no one could ever love me! I'm pathetic, worthless, I'm just as bad as a vermin. 

"G-Gah!" I yelled, as I shot my back forward, my face was wet from tears. It's been a while since I've properly cried, though I shouldn't be crying, It's bad enough that I cross-dress, it would be pathetic enough for me to cry. Even with these feelings my heart couldn't help but feel heavy, no way that could've been a dream, the emotions I felt were too real...and way too accurate. "Y/N?" Kiyo called out gently. I felt shocked upon hearing his voice. "A-Ah, s-sorry...did I wake you? I-I shouldn't have stayed, I'll leav-" "Are you okay?" Kiyo asked me, it took a few seconds for me to answer that clearly. "...No, I'm scared, Kiyo." I admitted. "That is only natural, I don't blame you for feeling that way." Kiyo said as he sat up on the bed, I had almost forgotten that we had shared the bed, under normal circumstances I would've been extremely embarrassed, but there's no reason to be. I...need to give Kiyo an alibi, whether it's embarrassing or not. "I usually wake up two hours before the nighttime announcement, you can prepare yourself for what's going to come in that time." Kiyo said. I nodded my head, I had only just now realized that I slept in my normal clothes, I don't think I need to change today, I'm most likely going to be dead anyway. 

I wiped my tears with my sleeve. "I-I'll leave your dorm once the morning announcement plays, I'm going to act as natural as I can so they don't suspect me too early on, I'll make sure someone sees me leaving your dorm, s-so the alibi can look a little more reliable." I said. I got up from Kiyo's bed and sat down on the floor with my equipment from the other night, I guess I could do some edits, I doubt there would be much to edit though. Two hours flew by in the matter of seconds, and in the end I wasn't able to think about my work much, how could I? Investigation is going to start today and I have to pretend that I know nothing about it, it's going to be even worse when someone else dies, I could try to talk Kiyo out of it, though I doubt I would be much help. 

"Oh, Y/N. May I tell you something?" Kiyo asked me. "O-Oh, sure thing." I said, looking down at my book as I stood up, I heard Kiyo walk closer to me before speaking. "I must thank you for everything, for becoming my friend and spending time with me, you've truly shown me unconditional kindness, something that not many people have done." Kiyo said. To say that I was embarrassed would be an understatement, I had almost forgotten how weak I was to things like this. "Y-You are very welcome, I have cherished our every last moment together, s-so until things get bad at the trial I-I'll continue to do my best to make sure you get out uninjured." I said, even though Kiyo didn't respond with words I could tell that he was pleased to hear that, those gentle eyes looking at me without any hint of impurity. I feel like we've gotten so close that we don't even need words to describe how we feel, I...already know. I know that he cares about me the same why that I do for him. It's little things like this that make life worth living, the very things that I thought didn't matter were becoming the main source of my happiness, I think saying I 'care' about Kiyo would be an understatement...adoration maybe? It's such a strong word but it's the best word I can think of to express how I feel.