Summertime Sadness

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Song - Summertime Sadness - Lana Del Rey

After fighting I toss and turn all night. I could feel him, awake and restless in our room. He came to the door several times but I wouldn't respond.

I hear him moving around down the hall.

"I have to go to a meeting, I'll be back as soon as it's done. Please, talk to me when I get back," he links me before I hear the door close downstairs.

A strange foggy feeling comes over me and I groan. I don't want to deal with this on top of everything else.

"Sorsha, I'm sorry for pulling you from consciousness. You never slept last night," her sad voice rings through the quiet.

"It's fine," I choke back a sob.

"Don't cry, dear one. After the darkness, there will be light."

"He's lying to me. I can feel it."

"He is. He's not a perfect man but the two of you, with time, will bring out the best in each other."

"Why is everything always so hard?" I cry.

Her warmth spreads over my body. I feel my tears dry and a sense of comfort settle into my chest.

"The threat to him is not finished, Sorsha. You need to tell him. He's not as safe as he believes. Warn him."

"Can't you tell me more, Goddess? Please."

Her sweet chuckle fades into the background as I slip back into my body.

My eyes flutter open and I listen for him. He's still not home.

I run to the closet to get dressed. I choose a black cropped tshirt and a short, high waisted skirt with heeled ankle boots because fuck him.

I pull my hair into a messy high ponytail and rush out the door.

I decide to take the street. Hiding on the back trail isn't very Luna like.

As I round the corner of the packhouse I see Layla sitting at a bench near the door. I take a breath and walk toward the door.

I feel her eyes on me as I approach. Her face is pinched into a sour, angry expression. As I pass her she sneers and says something under her breath. Normally, I would let this go.

Not today.

"I'm sorry. What was that?"

Her mouth curls into an evil smile, "I said, I can't believe he marked you. Not after what you allowed to happen."

My brow furrows, "what I allowed to happen?"

"You're supposed to be gifted but you didn't do anything to stop what happened between his parents. He hates you. He wanted to hunt you down and kill you," she chuckles.

"You're lying..."

"He was going to mark me, make me his Luna just so he didn't have to have a mate. The stupid bond fucked it all but he chose me. He was forced with you."

She stands up and walks away, swaying her hips, obviously pleased with herself.

For several minutes I don't move. The world spins around me. I feel nauseous.

I expect tears but they don't come. With each second the heartbreak turns to searing rage.

I turn on my heels and make my way to his office. When I reach the door I fling it open so hard it smacks into the wall behind it.

Elijah is sitting behind his desk with Julian and Cole seated in front of him. He jumps up as soon as he sees me.

He pales.

"When you said you were upset because you didn't want a mate, that was a lie, wasn't it? You were upset because it was me, specifically." I'm seething.

"No...well, yes. Both," his voice is softer than I've ever heard it.

I laugh a loud, manic laugh into the quiet room.

I claw at my mark, ripping at the skin until it bleeds. He runs from around his desk but I back away.

"Why the fuck did you mark me? You hate me, why would you complete the bond?"

"Because I was wrong. When I met you, I saw that there is no way you could have held back information if you had it. I know the Goddess didn't tell you. I blamed you in my grief but I know it wasn't your fault."

"You were going to take a chosen mate," a single tear slips down my cheek and it burns the whole way down.

"That had nothing to do with you. I planned that before I knew you were my mate. I was just trying to avoid being mated. As soon as I met you, I knew I could never do that. Fuck," his voice shakes, "I'm so glad we met before I made that mistake. The way I feel about you... Sorsha, I lied because I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to know how fucking stupid I had been. I never actually wanted her, that's why I was going to do it, because she had no hold on me whatsoever."

"You lied. You marked me, you tricked me."

"It was all before I met you. I've been trying to make it up to you, to fix it," his voice is desperate.

"You wanted to hunt me down?"

He pulls his face into his hands and sighs.

"After my fathers funeral I got really drunk and asked Cole to scope out your pack for weaknesses so I could get to you. It never went further than my drunk rambling, there was never a plot against you. That's why I was upset yesterday. Cole's a fucking asshole and I thought he would tell you."

"You're a fucking asshole," I choke on a sob.

"Sorsha, I know you're hurt and mad that I lied but I lo..."

"Don't you dare! Don't you fucking say that!" I cut him off.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"That you lied or that you were caught?"

A tear slips down his cheek and he tries to step toward me but I put my hands up to stop him.

"The Goddess wants you to be warned that you're still in danger, you're not as safe as you think you are. Sorry there aren't more details, that's all she would share," my voice is cold and emotionless.

As I leave he whimpers and even my wolf doesn't care. She's distraught that he almost took another mate. I'm glad she's upset because that buys me more time to be mad at him. Once she forgives him the stupid bond and mark will push us back together but until then, I want him to suffer.

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