Heaven On Hold | Peaky Blinders

Goodbye Tommy

"It's okay." Luca waved his friend's hand away who wanted to give his boss the paper and creepily laughed at the two of us. "Mr. Solomons, Miss. Grey, I'm gonna be very fucking clear with you. I don't need you two to kill anybody. I have people that I trust, okay? So you two are gonna take my boys and you are gonna bring them to the ring as seconds."

~~~

We had it handled; Alfie would take Luca's converted men to the fancy duel my cousins had organised and I would follow, being the one who would bring them home safe.

There was no turning back....

I had reverted to my old ways and I was ashamed of it.... but yet I chose the highest bidder over family.

Something I was raised to do.

The audience was thrilled, their voices tried to shout harder than others like dogs and their consciences knew nothing.

Alfie and I strolled through the dark hallways.

He and I had entered through the back, his cane now echoing through the place every time he took a step with it while I had faded into his shadows. The crowd was cheering so loud you could hear it through the walls where we were and it faded the more we walked away from the battle.

The next turn to the left would be the last time I would see someone from my family ever again.

The one I would meet on the other side was the most important family member of the Shelby's, the one who gave me back my humanity.... well, whatever was left of it.

Step for step we approached the dressing room that smelled like sweat and fear and Alfie entered first.

He spotted Tommy in front of him and he walked past the blue eyed man, taking a seat on the opposite sides of the small benches where Tommy was sitting.

I followed, not making eye contact with any of the two before I leaned against the wall next to Alfie.

Tommy in the meantime held his head low, watching his feet and blinking in silence.

"Yeah, you're like me, Tommy, you can't bear to watch a fight which has got rules." Tommy's eyes shot up and quietly rested on mine before switching his attention to the man that was talking. "Tommy, right, imagine.... imagine that you could not see.... at all, you was born blind. Then one day you open up your eyes and you can see everything in the world. When before you could only touch it or smell it. There it is. The revelation. Innit? I've had one." Alfie waved with his cane through the air as he watched Tommy from underneath the brim of his neat fedora. "Yeah, saw a beautiful house down in Margate. Great big white building.... monkey puzzle tree against a sky of blue. Beautiful. A piece of heaven." A small silence fell over us and Tommy inhaled his cigarette before Alfie continued.

"Actually, you see, the way the earth, it's curves, I thought to myself, 'Alfie, what are you doing? What are you doing?' Why don't you just sell every ounce of gold and sell every barrel of rum you got and just buy yourself some time, mate?' I need to buy myself some time." The gangster nodded to himself.

"You're moving to Margate?" Tommy interrupted his story with a sad tone and somehow I could see regret and guilt in his eyes every time he looked up.

They had seen each other as real friends once.

"I am actually, yeah, with my sweet girl over there. We need to get ourselves some rest. We need some rest." Alfie watched the ground for a brief second. "Plus, the Americans are here now, aren't they? So, that's it. Yeah. It's been that way ever since the war, innit? The Americans. Big fucks small. Always, actually. Hmm? And there is a fight going on, out there, between big and small." Alfie pointed at the wall in front of him with his brown cane, pointing at the way the fight was actually taking place. "Big will fuck small. Right. Margate then. Blue skies, heaven." He stood up slowly, walking up to Tommy and I pushed myself from the wall to join him. "I will see you, Tommy. By the pier."

"Stay and watch the fight, Alfie, Rio?" Tommy whispered, his cigarette sticking between his lips.

"No, you're all right. I already know who wins. Don't I?" I blinked a few tears away and held up my chin when Alfie turned around to walk away. "Cheer up."

"Goodbye Tommy." I whispered before following the gangster into the darkness of the hallways never to be seen or heard from again.

Perhaps it was for the better for both sides if Alfie and I retired, having a nice house in Margate so we weren't able to bother anyone else.

It had been multiple long years choosing sides and I was finally done with that.

I wouldn't choose.

I couldn't choose.

They stayed family and he stayed my lover so I did what was best, retreating myself from the fight.... from everything that had influenced me in the past few years and hide in the familiar shadows so I could think about the best thing to do.