(ON HOLD)Life as an Undercover Model

Chapter 17: Confused

SKYLAR's POV (unedited)

My nice sleep was interrupted by a loud ring followed by another then another then another. I groaned the went to get my phone. I answered it and I didn't even bother to check who the fuck interrupted my sleep. "Hello?" I answered the phone groggily "Heeey skyy" Ashton's familiar coice was heard from the other line.it seems like he's drunk. Gosh, It's like 3 in the fucking morning! I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with a drunk ashton at 3AM I just woke up and I'm still irritable.

"Ashton??? What the fuck it's already 3 am" I stated the obvious trying to keep my cool "what do you want??" I asked with annoyance laced in my tone, i tried to keep it suppressed but obviously I failed. Couldn't blame me though, MY SLEEP WAS INTERRUPTED. "I waaant youuu.." Ashton replied slurring. Goodness.. This is one of those times isn't it. Drunk calling, it would have been better if it was just a text. Ugh.

"Ashton. You're drunk." i said trying to sound unfazed by his confession. "Yeeeaaahhh I aaaam" He said prolonging his words. Why the heck did he have to get drunk and call me like this.I thought to myself bitterly. "Ash. Just go to sleep" i sighed. I can't talk to him right now. The fact that he just said that he wanted me stirred something inside me. It's making me confused. I'm with MATT for goodness' sake!

"I like it when you call me Ash" he said. I know you do, I used to call you that before. Really?! Did I really have to think about that?! I mean that was like forever ago!! It was waaay before I crushed his heart into pieces. I didn't mean to do that but I had to! I had my reasons... But It wasn't enough, and I was just an immature teenager back then. Not that I'm not immature anymore, but I matured. A little. And I know that my reasons back then was unreasonable, And I know that Ashton will Hate me forever if he finds out that Skylar Parker is the same person with Skylar Green. And I hated the thought of that, It made me feel things that I didn't like. It made me sad, It made me feel.... broken.

I shouldn't feel like this! I moved on right? I mean I'm with matt already, and The thing with Ashton was like years ago. Ugh I'm hopeless. I shoul- "Are you still theeerre??" My thoughts were interrupted by Ashton, I completely forgot that I was talking to him. I was so lost deep within my thoughts. I replied with a short "Yeah." I didn't know what to say. He brought back old feelings by saying that he likes the nickname 'Ash' That goes way way back. So I stayed silent. It was sooo awkward and We weren't even talking in person! We were talking through the phone for crying out loud. What if we were talking in person, It would've been waaayy more awkward and I'm thankful that we weren't.

"Whyy aree you soo quiettt??" He asked. "What do you want me to say?" I countered back. Because I honestly have nothing to say. "Ummmmmmm.." He says sounding like a kid thinking if he should get a chocolate or vanilla ice cream. "You like me too" He said surprising me. I wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth. Drunk ashton waay too blunt for his own Good."Ash... You know I have a boyfriend." I said Awkwardly " And you're just drunk. Go to sleep". I reasoned hoping that he'll agree then end the phone call. "Yeeaahh I know but.. " He says pausing for a moment before continuing "I think I love youu.."

That caught me off guard. That statement just shooed my sleepiness away like someone just poured water all over me. I knew he liked me but.. Love? did he just dropped the L-bomb to me just now?! or did i just misheard it. No, I heard what I heard. I let my hand run along my hair. I do this whenever I'm stressed. He's just drunk, that's the only reason I could think of. 'But alcohol just gives us the courage to do the things we're to afraid to do when we're sober' My mind thought. What the fuck brain?! You're not helping! Not at all! 'Hey I'm just stating facts, Drunk actions speaks a Sober Heart' My mind replied. 'STOP IT!' I replied to my brain.. I'm talking to myself now.. Great.

Then I realized I haven't replied to Ashton yet "Ashton. just go to sleep. You're too drunk. Good night." I said Quickly then Hung up on him. That phone call just left me more Confused than ever. I mean I was sure that the feeling that I had for Ashton was purely platonic, Just Friends. But now.. He brought back old feelings.. I looked at the clock and saw that It was already 3:07 am, It reminded me of the movie 'The Conjuring' but hey I wasn't planning to scare myself so I decided to ignore it.

Why the heck did he have to call me now? I am so confused.. I decide to call Alex, I don't care if she's sleeping. I dialed her number on my phone then it rung for a while then Alex's Familiar voice was heard. "What the fuck are you on?! It's 3 AM Sky!" ah, typical Alex. Couldn't blame her, I just interrupted her peaceful sleep. "I'm not on drugs Alex." I replied calmly "Then why the fuck did you wake me up?!" She asked irritated. "Ashton called me" I said. "No offence Sky but, Do I look like your call Log?" She asked sarcastically. "No, but I'm just really confused and I needed to talk to someone" I explained "Why? What did he say?" She asked with concern

"Well he just said that he loved me" I said trying to sound nonchalant "But he was drunk" I added Hastily "He did?!" She said shocked then I heard a faint 'oh' from the other line "Yep" I replied to her. "And what do you mean by 'oh'" I asked her. "Well I just realized why you're confused that's why I said 'oh'" She explained. "Well yeah. and I'm REALLY confused." I said emphasizing the word 'really' "And it's like he brought back old feelings, the feelings I used to have when we were together" I explained further. She was silent for a short while, probably thinking what to say. "I think those feelings are there because you still haven't had a proper closure with him." She concluded. "And you just need to end it with him officially, not just as Skylar Parker, but as Skylar Green as well." She added

Realization struck me. She's right we never had a proper talk, I just left him and never gave him a reason to why I left him. I guess We just needed closure. "You're right Alex, Thanks for the talk" I said "No problem, and you owe me a Starbucks frappe for waking me up this early!" She replied with playfulness evident in her tone "Yeah Whatever, Goodnight Alex" I told her then hang up.

When I hung up on her I noticed I had 2 new messages from Ashton. I checked it.

From: ashton
To: skylar

Heeeeeyy!! You hung up on me :(((
But I stiill loovee youuu! c:

3:12 am

Did he really have to text me. ugh. I take it back when I said that drunk texts are better than drunk calls. They're both annoying. I know I had my talk with Alex but that doesn't mean that all of my confusion were all gone. It just made me see the situation in another light.Then I checked the next one

From: ashton
To: skylar

Are you ignoring meee?? :((
Whyyy???
Even though you're ignoring me You're still my forever :)).

3:17 am

I'm his forever? I know I'm still confused and everything. But what I'm feeling is wrong. I knew that. I'm with someone else now and I'm sorry Ash but I don't think I can be your forever. I can't go on living in the past. So I'll just continue living in the present. Moving Forward not backwards. That's the way life should be.
I just hope after what I'm planning to do Ashton will still be a part of my life. It may sound selfish but, I don't want to lose him.

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Haaalloooo!!

SO here's an update. A month after the last one.

But I have GOOD NEEWSS!! It's Summer Vacation!!!
SO I'll probably update every two weeks. Hopefully :).

And sorry if this chapter's boring.

Oh and SAMANTHA INFRAIM ARCEO, GET OFF OF MY BOOK ;)
Just kidding Sam. Love ya so Peace?? but hey you wanted a shoutout right?? hihi

OH and THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT FOR MY BOOK!! I really Appreciate it!

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