Sunsets by the Lake- Jegulus

Fifth and Sixth Year; Chapter Four

James POV

I had noticed that ever since he left Grimmauld Place, Sirius' mental health had taken a decline. He wasn't depressed because he left, he was depressed because of the guilt that followed him everywhere he went after he left Regulus. He- even after hundreds of talks over the summer and now that it was the right thing for him to do- believes that he shouldn't have left.

" Merlin knows what they've done to him. He must hate me. Oh God, what if he hates me," was what Sirius always said when he started freaking out.

"He doesn't hate you mate. Burger and Onion probably told him to stay away from you, and you know how he is." I tried to reassure him.

"Or, get this, he's grieving just like you. You guys do know he lost his big brother," Remus interjected.

"Oh Merlin, he's right. I'm so selfish. Maybe I should talk to him."

"Pads, you're not selfish. You did what you needed to do. They were gonna kill you, I mean I thought you were already dead when you stumbled into my house."

"But-" he always said but. He could never leave it at bay.

"No but's. You did what was right, if he can't see that then screw him, eh?"

" Yeah, Yeah, you're right. Sorry."

"No need to apologize."-- I had become fascinated with Regulus. Everything he did fascinated me. I watched the way walked, the way he ate, the way he flipped his hair when it got in his face.

Some would call this a crush, an infatuation, but I would just call it fascination. Maybe I was trying to look in his mind, see his emotions. Or maybe I had found someone new to sketch over and over until it was perfect. And yes, this seems stalkerish, I mean I was drawing someone I watched over and over again, but I always gave them to the person afterwards. But I never did draw him.. Not without his knowledge like I did to my friends or Lily.

Sometimes, very rarely, I caught Regulus' stare. I'd notice him looking at Sirius and, if I looked up at the right moment, we'd meet hazel eyes to grey. I always grinned at him then he would glare. It was like a fun game we had, just us. --Regulus Black It was during the second week of October when I first noticed James staring at me. I didn't think much of it, I thought that maybe Sirius had said something about me and he started looking.

But as the weeks went by, I noticed him staring more and more. I didn't know what brought this up. Were my clothes on backwards? Was my hair messed up? Neither of those were probable because I noticed him staring day after day. -- By Mid-November I was fed up with him glancing at me.

"Potter!!" I shouted in the halls when I noticed we were the only two walking down it.

"Hmmm, little Black. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

" I've seen you staring."

"I know."

"Then why haven't you stopped. Usually when someone notices you staring and glares at you, you should catch the hint, they aren't interested in your looks."

"Well, I haven't stopped and won't until I've figured you out."

"Figured me out?" He was starting to sound ridiculous.

"Yes. I don't understand you."

"Ok? How about we leave it that way, I have no interest in you 'figuring me out'."

  I was getting annoyed at this point. He was friends with Sirius, did he not realize the amount of trouble I would be in if I ever got caught talking to him?

"I know you hate me. I understand that about you. I would hate me too if I were you. But I don't want you to hate me and I don't know why I don't."

"Just leave me alone and I'll leave you alone, deal?" I didn't want to stop hating him because if I didn't then I would need to forgive Sirius and I did not have any interest in doing that.

"Please. Meet me at the astronomy tower tomorrow at eight. I want to be friends."

"No. Leave me alone. I'm perfectly happy with hating you and you should be too. I don't know what sprung up your sudden interest in me and I don't want to know. Just leave me be."

He looked defeated for a split second. But of course, in James Potter fashion, it didn't stay like that.

"Fine. I'll leave you be. If you come to the astronomy tower tomorrow. If not then I'll continue my little game." He had one of the iconic James Potter smirks on. He knew I would agree.

"Fine. Then you'll ignore my existence and we'll pretend that this never happened, got it?"

"Got it!" He had already started running down the hallway.

A/N: I hate this chapter so much but I had to post something. School is so bad and I've had no interest in writing because of stress so updates are gonna be slow.

Final thing. 

Thank you to everybody whose put this on a reading list!! Kinda embarrassing because my writing is shit but like i appreciate it!