Love, Selfish Love

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You return to yours and Patrick's house later that afternoon. You go to take off your jacket when Patrick rushes down the stairs. "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!" He calls your name excitedly. You glare at him and hang your jacket up on the designated hook. He grips your upper arms gently and looks into your eyes, a wide smile on his face, "Guess what?"

"Patrick, I don't-" You begin to say when he cuts you off.

"I finished a song and I want you to hear it!" He exclaims.

"Oh, you finally finished a song without hating it?" You retort sarcastically.

He ignores your bitterness and replies exuberantly, "Yes! Come upstairs!" He relinquishes his hold on you and spins around, darting back up the staircase he came down no later than a few seconds ago. You heave a sigh and follow after him. You find him sitting on your bed, the synthesizer out in front of him. You lean against the threshold, crossing your arms over your chest. "You ready?" He asks you.

"Yeah, I guess," You murmur.

He frowns at your disinterest before going to play the song for you.

(You can skip this part, it's just some lyrics to "Love, Selfish Love" just be sure to pick back up when it becomes italics again. Thanks!)

"I hear you've got your troubles, or so I've been told
Maybe just a couple but I'm not quite sold
I'm indifferent to the difference between tomorrow and today
Less an indiscretion than a lesson I've been paid
And the stages of recovery can signify your age
Like rings around a stump
Oh, that's something I know a little bit about, child
Lately, it's been getting a little bit crazy
I don't wanna be complaining, complaining, oh

"All my friends go to bed
Dreaming up a reason they should weep, weep
And all my friends walk to the ends of the earth, for secrets they don't wanna keep

"And this is my confession
Yes, yes
This is me confessing:
God bless
The sad and selfish
Stay helpless

"Cause I've always been stronger than that
Hold the weight of the world on my back
It's just love, selfish love
Love, selfish love..."

He finishes the song for you shortly after that and you can't help but have a smile on your face. "So what do you think? And don't lie to me..." He says to you.

"I-I think it was great," You tell him honestly.

Patrick grins and sets the instrument aside, standing up and walking over to you. "I'm glad you liked it. I wrote it thinking about you...about us..." He takes your hands in his and swings them a little. You heave a sigh and slip your hands out of his. His smiles fades. "What's wrong?"

"We...We need to talk, Patrick," You remark with utmost seriousness, looking up into his green eyes.

"W-What do we need to talk about?" He stammers nervously.

You bite your lip, starting by saying, "I went to see my mom today."

"Yeah, and...? What does that have to do with us?"

"She told me that I should break up with you," You disclose to him. He takes a step away from you. "But I don't want to break up with you, Patrick, trust me! That's the last thing I want to do!"

"Good!" His heart is racing a little faster than before, "Because we can't just break up. Not after eight years and after everything we've been through."

"Right," You agree, but going on to say, "However, my mom also made a really good point besides that, Patrick. She made the point that I'm not...happy anymore." He just stares at you. "I'm not...happy with you anymore." You tell him, breaking your heart and his at the same time. "Things aren't the same as they once were. When I first met you, when we first started dating...that feeling...it's not there." He runs a hand through his hair and turns away from you. "Tell me you don't feel the same way."

"(Y/N), I'm not going to talk about this," He replies sternly, obviously aggravated by what you've said to him.

"Why?"

"Because I know what's it's going to end up in and I don't want that to happen!" He yells at you, tears wavering in his eyes. "I know I haven't been myself lately. I know things between us haven't been all that great. And I know you and me aren't happy together. But you know what else I know? I know that I don't want to lose you." He blinks away the tears he doesn't want you to see him shed. "You're everything to me, (Y/N)," He croaks.

"You're everything to me too, Patrick, but-"

"Don't," He begs, "Please. Don't (Y/N)."

You close your eyes, a single tear falling from your eye. "But I think we need some time apart," You finish your sentence, "It's not breaking up, but-"

"No," He objects, shaking his head, "No."

"Patrick..."

"No, this is not happening!" He screams, grabbing his synthesizer and throwing it across the room. It crashes into the wall and falls to the floor, breaking into pieces. You flinch.

He plops down on the edge of the bed and puts his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. You just stare at him in fright - you've never seen him like this.

"Patrick..." You take a few steps towards him.

"Just leave, (Y/N)," He mutters under his breath, "Just leave if you think we need some time apart." Before you can interject, he snaps, "Or better yet!" He jumps to his feet and turns so he's facing you, "I'll leave." He brushes past you.

"Patrick! Wait!" You scream after him.

"No!" He shouts back, storming down the stairs, "You want some time apart, I'll give you some time apart!" You run down the stairs and, while he's getting into his coat to leave, slip in front of the door so he can't get out. He glares at you, "(Y/N), get out of the way."

"No, Patrick, I don't want you to leave!"

"That's not what you said upstairs," He crosses his arms over his chest.

"I-I..."

"(Y/N)," Patrick says calmly, "Please. Get out of the way." You shake your head no. "(Y/N), please! You're making this harder than it has to be!"

"I don't care what my mom says, Patrick. I don't want to break up with you, I don't care if I'm not happy. I don't want to lose you!"

He smiles sadly, "I don't want to lose you either. But...I think a little time apart from each other will be good for us." He rubs your arm comfortingly.

"Patrick, no..."

He leans forward and kisses you on the forehead. He gently moves you away from the door and opens it, looking back at you once more before stepping outside and closing the door behind him.

You're in tears as you immediately reopen the door and watch as he jogs to his car, hopping in, starting it up, and backing out of the driveway, speeding away into the night.

You fall to your knees, sobbing your eyes out, wishing you could take back ever saying anything to him about it.

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