Loose Ends

Chapter 39

Being the first day of school, Ricky had no homework, so he decided to goof off online after his dinner and wait for Amy to put John down for the night before calling to shoot the breeze. As he was waiting for John's bedtime to draw closer, there was a knock at his door.

"Who is it?" he called out as he made his way to the door.

"It's me," came the reply.

"Me who?"

"Ricky, open the door!" the person said with frustration. He did so and found his mother standing there. She smiled and gave him a hug, one he was momentarily too surprised to return.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he stepped back to let her inside. She stepped inside and then turned to face him.

"Ruben got me out early and apparently I have you to thank for that so, thanks," she explained.

"You're welcome," he said as he closed the door. "But that doesn't explain what you're doing here," he said again. She shrugged.

"I need a place to crash until I can find my own place and I was wondering...if I could stay with you for a few days." Ricky shook his head.

"Oh no. I love you but I don't want you around John just yet." Pain and sadness flashed in Nora's eyes briefly before she quickly pushed those feelings aside.

"Ok, ok, I get it. You don't want me in the way." Nora headed towards the door to leave and Ricky momentarily panicked.

"Where you going?" he asked a little too quickly.

"I'll just stay with a friend."

"What kind of friend?" he asked suspiciously. Nora let out an amused huff.

"Don't worry, she's my sponsor. She's not expecting me but I'll stop by and see what happens." She gave him a small smile before turning back towards the door. Ricky was overcome with guilt and sighed.

"Wait." Nora turned back towards him curiously. Ricky's demeanor softened. "You can stay tonight." She may not have been the mother he needed or deserved growing up, but Nora still knew him well enough to know he wasn't asking her to stay out of the goodness of his heart; he was worried about what would happen to her if he didn't know where she was. She gave him a knowing look.

"I'll be fine, Ricky," she assured him.

"Please," he said, his tone pleading with her. Ricky didn't understand why but for some reason part of him wanted her to stay with him and the more she tried to leave the more desperately he wanted his mother to stay. Some part of him knew this was twisted but he'd dissect it later. Nora finally relented and agreed. As his mother settled her small bag of belongings in the bedroom and then went to take a shower, Ricky made up the couch for the night and tried to rein in his emotions as past memories came flooding to the surface and mixed with his memories of Amy. His mother and Amy were nothing alike. While his mother was a pot head and an alcoholic who'd abandoned him when he needed her most, he knew Amy would never subject their son to the same fate. He knew Amy would do whatever it took to make sure John was loved, protected and taken care of. And part of him envied John for it; John had the kind of mother he'd always wanted growing up. Even though he had Margaret in his life now, she hadn't been there the first thirteen years of his life. While he could remember his mother hugging him, spending time with him when the two of them went on occasional outings for ice cream, and, sometimes, cooking for and taking care of him, when she was sober at least, there were times he'd just needed his mother to make him feel safe. When Bob hurt him, he wanted and needed his mother and she wasn't there. Or she was but she was too high or drunk to be of any real help to him.