Loose Ends

Chapter 42

Amy stopped dead in her tracks and stiffened.

"I'm not ready!" she blurted out. Ricky stopped and looked at her with confusion. It took him a moment to process her outburst.

"I didn't mean like right this second, babe," he told her, his face still revealing his confusion about her startled reaction. He gently guided them to the couch and they sat down. Amy scooted away from him a little and hurt flashed in his eyes. Unfortunately, Amy missed it because she was staring down at her hands, which were twisting nervously in her lap. "Amy, look at me," he said gently. She glanced over at him from beneath her eyelashes and then back down at her lap. Ricky gave her a slightly annoyed look, which she also didn't see. "Will you just look at me, please?" Amy licked her lips and then shifted her body towards him as she looked him in the eye. Ricky arched an eyebrow questioningly. "You can come over you here you know; I don't bite." He gave her a mischievous smile. "Unless you want me too," he said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He got the reaction he was going for when Amy blushed and chuckled.

"Will you behave!" she exclaimed in a whisper, trying in vain to hide her embarrassment.

"I wanna talk about that too."

"What?"

"Why innuendos make you blush so much. I've already seen you naked. Remember?" Amy blushed a brighter shade of red and looked back down at her lap.

"That was before!" She hugged her legs to her chest.

"Before what?"

"I got pregnant." Ricky had no clue why Amy suddenly looked so nervous.

"Yeah. That's kinda how it works, babe." Amy groaned and hid her face. This conversation was turning into a train wreck. Ricky ran a hand through his hair and then pulled Amy against him; she squeaked with surprise at the sudden movement and looked up at him. "This conversation's not off to the best start. Can we start over?" Amy nodded.

"Okay." Ricky stared at her for several moments and Amy sat quietly, waiting for him to speak first.

"Remember when I told you I never stopped being attracted to you?" Amy nodded. "Well I've been having....inappropriate dreams about you on and off ever since the day we took John to the beach for the first time and I saw you in that bikini." Amy blushed as she remembered that day, breaking eye contact with Ricky as she remembered how she'd openly stared at him for a moment that day too. "And lately...." He let his voice trail off and Amy looked up at him, her face filled with curiosity. "I've been having them more frequently and," he paused to give her a smirk. "They're becoming more and more inappropriate." He gave her a pointed look and Amy understood what he was trying to tell her. She began to squirm so he'd let go of her and her reaction confused, and worried, him so he didn't let her go. "Amy, what's wrong?" Amy began fidgeting nervously but stopped squirming to get away from him.

"I'm not ready," she said again. Ricky sighed and kissed her temple.

"And I already told you I wasn't asking you to sleep with me tonight. What's really going on here, angel?" he asked gently, afraid he would somehow spook her again. Amy looked at him nervously.

"I'm scared," she admitted quietly. Ricky's brows shot up in surprise.

"Of sleeping with me?" Amy shook her head.

"Of losing you," she said, her voice wavering. Every protective bone in Ricky's body went on full alert. He kissed her lips gently.

"I'm not going anywhere, Amy. You know that." Amy broke eye contact and was silent for several moments. Ricky gently forced her to look him in the eye again. "What makes you think you're gonna lose me if we have sex?"