Fai 2 | K-Pop Soloist

✧ V-LIVE 01 ✧

FA: Hello.

MA: Hi everyone... Should we like wait for a bit?

FA: I think it's okay, enough people are in.

MA: Why are we doing this again?

FA: For funsies.

MA: What's it called... We uh hadn't seen each other for a while, because of the current situation. Some things came up and we couldn't celebrate our anniversary together, but it's okay. There's always next year.

FA: We should've had a virtual dinner, like dressed up and facetimed each other while eating.

MA: Wait that's a really good idea.

FA: My mind is so powerful.

MA: You should've thought about it like two weeks ago though.

FA: We missed a really good opportunity of doing a v-live in our first anniversary of getting exposed by Dispatch.

MA: I think you're onto something. So everyone should watch out on the 13th of January 2021.

FA: You have that date memorised?

MA: Who wouldn't, that was the day I thought I lost everything.

FA: Yeah same... That period of time was the worst.

MA: And work was piling on top of each other, I couldn't find time to myself to think everything through. I never really processed what happened.

FA: They just woke us up at 6am and shoved us into a meeting room. It was so overwhelming.

MA: And they made a bunch of decisions for us, we never really were able to express our opinions on what we wanted to do at that time. Then a few weeks later Felicity and I had a long talk about how joe wanted to go about our relationship.

FA: We're still relatively new in the industry, so that conversation was the first time we took initiative for what we wanted to do. We came to the conclusion that our relationship was exposed to the public so we'd just carry on with it.

MA: It's crazy how an article with less than 200 words can make you feel like you've lost everything. The only reason why we're still here and doing well is because of therapy.

FA: And to think, that I went out there and did something almost irreversible.

MA: Are you ready to talk about it to the public?

FA: Yeah...

MA: I don't want you to talk about something you don't feel comfortable with.

FA: It's been over a year and I've been feeling well. I'm ready.

MA: Okay.

FA: After we were exposed, things kept on piling up and I just wanted to disappear. One night I really needed to clear my head and I ended up in Hannam Bridge. I just kept on thinking, will this river lead me to the sea? Then, will I finally be at peace? I was ready, but my phone vibrated and I thought that since it's my last text message I should read it. It was from Kyungsoo oppa, who texted me in English. "I finally arrived back in Seoul. Can I see you? I made your favourite side dishes, let's eat them together. It's been so long, I've practically forgotten what you look like. Felicity, I miss you a lot." It was that message, with countless spelling errors that made me want to carry on with my life. So I stood up, walked back to my dorm and started to write.

MA: And the first song you ended up writing is Jamais Vu.

FA: Mhmm, so if you go back and read the lyrics with the concept of guilt in mind. It makes way more sense than some love song or whatever I said it was before.