Flames Of Deception (Levrés Series #6)

Kabanata 16

As you get older, you find yourself understanding things and learning things you couldn't understand when you were a child. Mapupuno ng pagsisisi ang isip mo. Mapupuno ng what ifs ang utak mo. What if I caught on earlier. What if I didn't do that, what if I didn't told that, what if I didn't act based on my emotions. So many what ifs running through your mind.

But that's also the point of growing up. Magkakamali ka, kaya matututo ka.

You are not a perfect human being. You are just a human who gets hurt, and who can't do everything. Not because you made a mistake, that doesn't mean you cannot grow and be a better version of yourself.

Stop thinking you're not learning. Stop thinking you can't move forward. Stop thinking you can't change. Because you can. You can always fix things right. You can create something you can be proud of this time. You can move forward because you are not your past. You can move forward as long as you remember that the past has ended. You can always start a new chapter of your life. You are not your mistakes so you can change.

I can change.

It's been four months since I last saw Kyner. I don't know what happened after I left him at the parking lot. Kung bumalik ba siya sa kanyang ina o ano.

Candice said, he's still trying to reach out to me. Kaya sinabi ko na lang na ayoko na siyang makausap dahil mahihirapan lang ako lalo. Sobrang guilt na rin ang nararamdaman ko kaya ayoko na rin siya makita.

Pero hindi ko akalain na mas malulungkot pala ako nang dahil sa kanya, kaysa sa mga panahon na nalulungkot ako dahil kay Mommy. Mas matinding sakit pa pala ang mararanasan ko sa kanya.

I didn't know that I had fallen so hard and deep. Dahil parang nabibilisan ako. Parang dalawang buwan lang! Noong nakasama ko siya! Hindi ako nahuhulog sa mga naging boyfriend ko! Kahit taon pa ang umabot. Pero sa kanya, nagawa ko agad ang mga bagay na hindi ko nagagawa noon sa iba!

O siguro dahil gusto ko na siya noon pa? I find him hot and handsome at the same time before. Natabunan lang siguro ng galit para sa kanyang ina. Atsaka hindi ko pa siya lubusang kilala noon.

He ignited flames in my heart as wild and bright like how forest trees burn. And as quickly as fire burn through wood. My heart lit up just for him.

"Clandestine Snorri!" Daddy pounded on the door of my room.

I remained seated near my balcony, sipping at my tea. I'm here at my room in our house. Bumisita lang ako dahil namimiss ko rin ang bahay namin. Especially my room.

"Open this door!" he banged the door again.

I stared at the dark cloudless sky. It's been raining for days now. I can feel my skin slowly forgetting the warmth he bestow. I want to touch him once more. Not his skin but him.

"Tell us why you did that!" Daddy said for a million times already.

Nalaman nila iyong ginawa kong pagtatago kay Kyner. Hindi ko alam kung sino ang nagsabi sa kanila noong nangyari. Pero wala na rin akong pakialam kung sino pa iyon.

My father was furious. I was silent the whole time he was talking angrily at me. I know it's my fault so I just let him. Hindi ko na rin naman sinabi pa sa kanya na alam ko ang mga pinaggagagawa niya. Hinayaan ko na lang iyon.

Nag-usap sila ni Ramon Kertia, ang ama ni Kyner dahil sa mga nangyari. They didn't sue me. Ayaw rin nang ina ni Kyner because she's still thankful to me. For taking care of Kyner. Saying she understands my situation too. Such kindness I don't deserve.

I wonder what will happen to me if she got mad at me. Lalo na't minahal ko iyong anak niya. Will she accept me as her daughter-in-law? Eh ang tanong, magugustuhan ba ako ni Kyner?