Flames Of Deception (Levrés Series #6)

Kabanata 26

"Kahit sabihan man akong tanga at baliw sa pag-ibig. At kung anu-ano pang masakit na salita, wala akong pakialam. Mahal na mahal ko ang ama mo. At hindi na iyon mababago."

I know because even having me didn't change that. It's always him. But this is scary. I don't want this kind of love. It's destructive.

Somehow, I feel pity for my mother. Hindi tama ang pagmamahal na ginagawa niya. Dahil ang tamang pagmamahal ay may pagmamahal din dapat sa sarili.

"Even though he loves someone else?"

"Yes. Even though he's a hostage of someone's memories and sometimes cries himself to sleep. Even though he's the same as the person I met years ago. Broken."

I never heard my mother's side. All I know is she's crazily in love with him. All I know that she's hurting. Pero hindi ko alam ang bigat ng pinagdadaanan niya.

"I accepted and love him even though I know, he's not yet done loving her. Even though he closes his eyes before we kissed, even though he looked at me like he's sorry. He never looked at me with love," nanginig ang boses ni Mommy at tumulo ang kanyang luha.

It pierced my heart. This is the reason why I hated my father. He's an asshole. Hindi niya dapat pinakasalan si Mommy kung hindi pa siya tapos magmahal ng iba! He should heal himself first before marrying someone else.

"Still I tried. Ginawa ko ang lahat para makalimuta niya si Trinity. Binigay ko ang buong puso ko sa kanya. Sinubukan kong buuin ang nadurog niyang puso. I wanted to remove all his pain but it will never be enough for him if it wasn't her. It is still her. He never stop loving her. He let me into his life, but he never let me into his heart."

Tignan mo ang ginawa niya, he was passing his hurt and heartache to my mother who doesn't deserve that. My mother deserve him as a whole. Not just a portion of his love. He's unfair. He's selfish!

Mabuti na lang at hindi na siya binalikan pa ni Trinity. Deserve niya ang nararamdamang sakit ngayon! I want to see his face if he find out that I'm pregnant with Kyner. Gusto kong makita kung gaano siya masaktan kapag malaman niyang hindi na talaga sila pwede!

Still, they are both wrong. My mother let herself to be band-aid to my father's wounds especially when he's not over yet. She let herself to be a rehabilitation center.

You can love a broken person, yes. But not to the point that you forget to love yourself. Hindi ka emotional punching bag at trashcan para saluhin lahat ng emotional baggage niya. Let him heal himself first.

I let my mother cry into my arms until she let it all out. Naaawa rin ako sa kanya. Dahil alam ko, matagal na niya rin itong kinikimkim. Wala siguro siyang mapagsabihan dahil malamang, ang unang lalabas sa kanilang bibig ay kung gaano siya katanga. Dahil hindi rin nila alam na tanging malalakas lang na tao ang kayang bumitaw sa mga taong mahal nila. Amd my mother is too weak to let my father go.

"Destiny, Kyner Kertia is here--Snorri!"

Sabay kaming napatingin ni Mommy sa kadarating lang ni Daddy. Nagulat ako nang matanaw si Kyner sa kanyang likuran. What the hell is he doing here?!

"What are you doing here?" I said loudly.

"He's my visitor, Snorri."

Kumunot ang noo ko sa aking ama. Kailan pa sila naging close ni Kyner? Tinignan ko si Mommy. Based on her expression, she didn't expect Kyner to be here. At ito ang unang pagkakataon na pumunta ito rito!

"Tuloy ka, iho," my ever kind and loving mother said.

"I came here to pick you up," Kyner said while looking at me.