Promises || Tpn x reader **CURRENTLY UNDER EDITING/REWRITING**

~Having To Hide It~

Y/n's Pov

Laying awake all night, I attempt to plan a way out of our deaths. The pale sheets rustle over to my right. Gillian lays there curled in a ball, trembling and gripping her blanket. Suddenly jumping up in fear, tears form in her green eyes as she frantically searches the room. I get up and walk over to her side. She throws her arms around me tightly and drags me into her bed in the process. I begin to get flustered and tense from being so close to her. She tells me about the nightmare while crying into my shoulder. After about 15 minutes of her explaining the nightmare she had, she falls asleep with her arms still wrapped around me.

'Why do I have to question if I have feelings for them the same day I realize we're going to die soon?! My brain just has to go "Ah yes, finding out we're only raised to be food is the perfect time to fall in love with my two best friends"' I think while laying halfway on top of her. I lay there for a few minutes before passing out.

~~~

I wake up to Gillian's face inches away from my own. I try to scoot away from her but am stopped by her arms tightening around me. She shuffles around for a few seconds before her eyes flutter open.

"Good morning, y/n," She says as her face turns a light shade of pink.

"M-morning," I respond.

'Shit. Why did I stutter? I never stutter..' I think.

We get out of her bed, both embarrassed by being that close. I put on my uniform before going down to help Mom with the babies. When I arrive at the room, she welcomes me with a fake smile and acts as if nothing happened last night. I know it was real, there's no way I just imagined all of that in that much detail.

I dress Monika and Theo and carry them to the dining hall. I walk over to the stove to help Mom with breakfast. I watch as Oliver and Zack compete to see who can set the tables the fastest. I make the smaller kids' plates and then let the older ones make their own.

"Good morning to my darling children. Let us appreciate that all 38 of you are able to live happy lives under this roof. We are grateful." Our mother says.

"Thank you for the food!" We all said in unison.

I eat my food silently while the rest of my friends converse joyfully, clueless about our situation. I want to tell them, but if I do, one of them could get shipped out and die. I just want them to at least be happy for the time being.

~~~

"Age 8, Type 1. Each question must be answered within ten seconds. When you hear the tone, begin," The robotic voice says before buzzing loudly.

I answer each question quickly but carefully. I'm hoping the others do well on this. After all, these tests could easily be a factor in who gets picked off. I finish the test and hear others chat about their test scores.

"Y/n, Oliver, Zack, Paula, perfect scores again! I'm proud!" Our mother announces. A few of the kids look at us in awe, while others glare in jealousy.

We all go outside for free time and I sit under the tree as usual. I sit between Oliver and Gillian, with Zack, Nigel, Sonya, Sandy, Paula, and Pepe. They are all talking about what they want to do with their families once they get adopted and get to go into the outside world. 

"What do you want to do, y/n?" Gillian asks. 

"I don't know, depends on who I get adopted by," I respond. Most of them look at me in confusion but ignore it thinking it didn't mean anything.

Mom rings the bell, signaling us to go inside for dinner. We all go inside and start setting everything.

~~~

After dinner, I go down to our house's library to try to think of an escape plan. I sat there for about an hour, trying to come up with a way to help everyone escape safely, or at least my friends. If I have to leave them behind I'd probably just end up either dying from the demons or killing myself.

My thoughts were stopped abruptly when I felt a hand grip my shoulder. I turn to see Paula standing next to me with a worried expression. 

"Oh, hey Paula. Did you need something?" I ask.

"Tell me what's wrong." She said bluntly.

"What are you talking abo--" 

"Y/n, I can tell something's wrong. I'm one of your best friends, right? You can tell me anything. Now, please just tell me what happened. I'm assuming it was something at the gate," She explains.

"...I'm sorry. I can't tell you," I say sadly.

"Why not?"

"I just can't, okay? Trust me, it's for the best that you don't know right now.." I say, getting up out of my chair and walking off. I go back to the bedrooms to check on the younger children and put them to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~

After I check to make sure everyone's asleep, I walk down quietly to Mom's room. When I walk in, I find her boiling tea at her desk as she flips through a few files.

"Ready to exchange information?" She asks. I nod, sitting across from her as I did the night before.

"You haven't told anyone yet, have you?" She asks, pouring tea into my cup.

"No. No one suspects anything." I answer.

"Alright. Now then, what would you like to know first?"

"What's beyond the gate and fence? Is there anything besides the farms and those types of demons?" I ask.

"Yes, there is. Outside is a world full of those types of demons you saw yesterday. Beyond the gate is headquarters. They control who we ship out and it's mostly controlled by the Ratris and the one. And beyond the fence is a concrete wall," She explains. "Don't even think about trying to escape. There's a cliff and a forest full of wild demons who will eat you in a heartbeat behind it."

"Who is 'the one'?" I ask.

"He's the one who's in charge of everything. He's a small but powerful demon." She adds.

"Ok. May I ask how you always find us so quickly? I'm assuming it's trackers of some sort but I'd like more details." I ask.

"Yes, it is trackers. Although it's not specific," She says, pulling out the device from her pocket. "You can only see that someone's there, not who it is."

"Ah, I see. Last thing, do you have any information on demon anatomy? I'd like to study it." I ask her.

"Here, don't let any of the other kids see it." She says, handing me a book off of her shelf.

"By the way, as I said before, I can try to get you items from the outside. Is there anything you would like?" She asks. I pause for a moment to think about my answer.

"Do you mind if I get some things to make pins out of? Gillian saw them in a book and has been very interested in them ever since then." I request.

"I don't mind. That should be fairly easy to get," She responds.

"Alright. Thank you, I'll update you if anything happens. Bye." I call to my mother before leaving her room.

I walk down to the library to start reading the book. It would most likely only take about a half-hour to finish. 

~~~~~~~~~~

I finish the book and look over at the clock. It reads 10:27 pm. It only took me 27 minutes to read the entire thing. It's not very surprising considering I always get perfect test scores.

I quietly walk back to the bedroom and place the book into my cabinet. Gillian slowly wakes up and walks over to me. She drags me into my bed with her and lays on top of me. She quickly falls back asleep.

'Guess this is just how we're going to sleep from now on..' I think as I drift off to sleep as well.