RED - DISCONTINUED

13 - Jealousy Jealousy

The first thing I was aware of was a slight ringing in my ears as my eyes sprouted open and flicked around my surroundings.

My vision was darkened and blurred, meaning I couldn't see anything.

I could feel the bumps of the road from under where I lay, closing my eyes for a second I let myself remember what happened.

How long ago was that? Where am I now?

In annoyance I forced my eyes open again, blinked harshly a few times trying to get my eyesight to clear.

The first thing I noticed was the blurring spots turning into three figures who I recognised.

My heart panged with an all too familiar feeling in my chest. The longer I stared at it, the more and harder it came.

As the ringing in my ears died out, I could hear it too.

The short brunette wearing that stupid green shirt that I never liked, had a gigantic smile on his face as he sang to the music that was playing on the small fragile radio right beside where he was sat steering the steering wheel as we drove forward.

The tall, lanky dirty blonde had a smile just as huge as he bobbed his head along with the other's singing.

On the tallest's lap, sat a child. A child that had the biggest smile of them all. A child that had the blondest locks that almost looked golden in the shine of the sun. A child that had the greenest eyes that you wouldn't even find such colour in a forest full of green. A child that looked like he was finally having the fun he deserved. A child by the name of Michael. Michael, the name I chose.

They were a family, it's true. They were destined to be together. In other realities they would most likely always be together.

They were perfect for each other.

So why do I feel this way. Is it jealousy?

Do I wish I was included? Probably. No, not probably. I know I wish I was included.

But I'm dangerous.

I can't ruin what they've got going. They look so happy, am I just a burden on them?

Should I leave? Find my own way to wherever the hell we're going to?

Ranboo took Michael's hands into his and started to make Michael dance.

Michael's laughter was almost as loud as the music, if not louder.

His smile was so huge that  it's a miracle it hasn't reached space by now.

His golden hair was flying everywhere in the wind, it looked so angelic.

I felt my own hair move in the wind, but instead of flying past my face gracefully like the child's, it blew straight into my face. It's almost like nature is making fun of me.

I wouldn't blame them.

I felt all emotions just numb.

Except jealousy and sadness because they can never leave me alone can they?

They find a way to follow me everywhere I go, it's just life.

C'est la vie, is the saying isn't it?

That's life.

I just want what they have. I want to be included.

Is that to much to ask for?

Probably.

The only question that I really want answers for right now though is not any of those.

The question is, why haven't they abandoned me yet?