But, I could not

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manjula_prakash You asked , I did!

Warning: Based on true incidents .

Sorry in advance.

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7th September, 2011.

'All I could hear was a loud blast ! A bomb blast , may be?

The sound echoed in my ears and I could not hear anything for a long time . I felt dizzy. I plopped on the ground , leaning my back on the wall .

I wanted to scream for help, but I could not. My eyes shrunk close and open . My breath lowered. I felt a heavy pain in my chest.

I wanted to hold my head , but I could not raise my hand. I wanted to stand , but I could not move my legs.

I felt a sticky red fluid down my arms, Blood!

I could now hear some sounds , screams!

People were screaming and wailing. I wished to be a deaf.

Children were left alone, their parents lying lifeless. All I could hear was wail , wail and wail alone.

My throat parched, my hot breath hit my arms , as I lean forward. My lips dried, I needed water , but I could not speak. My back hurt , but I could not move to settle myself.

I felt a pain in each and every nerve of me. My skin was burning. My whole body was burning in pain. I wish I was dead.

But the sudden thought of her made some sense to me. What will she do without me?

How will she react when she comes to know that I'm no more? What if she wakes up to a news that she's a widow?

My eyes were burning. Hot stream of tears flowed through my eyes. I witnessed the most horrible sight in front of me. I saw people lying in a pool of blood. I was now , amidst a number of dead people. I wanted to live , but I wish I were dead.

The only thought of my wife, made me undergo all this pain. I want to be alive , for her. She would die a million times, if she comes to see me in this state. I tried my best to survive.

I heard sounds of siren. Was that from an ambulance? Police? A fire engine?
Will they save me? Will I be alive? Will I be able to see her for the one last time?

I wanted her face to be the last sight of my life. I wanted to take my phone and look at her picture. Her cute bunny face , with her tongue clicked out , with a scrunching pointed nose was my phone's wallpaper. But I could not move.

I heard someone speak near my ears. But I could not look at the person. He screamed but I could not hear him properly.

I felt I was being picked up by someone. My body ached while the hands picked me . I felt I was being carried. I felt I was being placed on a bed. I felt I was taken inside an ambulance. I heard the sounds of siren clearly.

I knew it was time for me to leave. I wanted someone to convey that I love my wife and she will be missed the most. But I could not speak.

Wait for me .. until we meet , my love. I wanted say .. but I could not.

I slowly closed my eyes and I slept for an eternity'.








































"Ashwineyy ... Ashwineyy" . I could hear her words , along with the siren.

I jerked up for a second.

"Andha alarm off pannunga, Ashwineyy".

I blinked several times, sweating profusely. I turned to her and touched her face with my sweaty palms. I hugged her tightly. I wanted her to be in my arms.

"Andha alarm off pannunga modhala... Aprm romance pannalam".

I felt a sigh of relief and a small smile escaped my lips as I turned the alarm off.

I hugged her and laid beside her , while she snuggled more into me .

I felt like I was given a second chance to live. I looked at my wife's face , she was sleeping peacefully, unaware of the tsunami of happenings in my heart. I kissed her forehead.

"I would live this whole life for you , Sivaangi".

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Inspired from Durjoy Datta's , 'If Its Not Forever' , a true story based on bomb blast in Delhi. 

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