Submission to the Mafia [18+]

Chapter 8

James wished he could tell you how much his days started fading into each other. Each day dragged on and on. After the whole ordeal with Sebastian, he tried to stay in his room as much as he could, out of trouble and away from the man he feared the most. He wasn't disturbed and was left to it, some maids and guards bringing him food during the morning, afternoon, and evening.

He awoke again from a nightmare, the only nightmare which kept reoccurring. The man he feared the most even invaded his nightmares, making him wake up with a cold sweat and cry. He wished he could just disappear and the world swallowed him whole. Remembering the assault pained James badly not only physically but also mentally. He was drained. To be honest, right now he doesn't have any will left to live. He just wants to die. James stayed in bed for minutes, hours who knows not even moving. He don't know how much time has passed since he last saw Sebastian, but I had no energy whatsoever and didn't feel like knowing, he was glad that the man had yet to come to greet him. James wasn't sure what he would do if he saw the man but one thing was for sure, he didn't ever want to see him again. Even though Marcos explained to him why Sebastian did what he did, he fucking hate his guts. He's a fucking monster. James could only feel so disgusted and violated. He tried to wash every day, multiple times daily just to get the feeling of his touches off. He wanted to rip his tongue out so he could get rid of that disgusting feeling. It was so hard to keep any food down, the urge to puke all day, every day. 

James doesn't know what Marcos expected from him. To forgive Sebastian, as if. They were all disguising, fucking pricks! James hoped they die painful deaths and wished the worst for them. 'God, what do I do? Please help me. Tell me what to do. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared.' Tears were the only thing that accompany James now along with the lurking gut-wrenching fear. He never cried this much before. What mess he got mixed into, he wants out! He doesn't deserve this. He knew he did no one wrong but he was being punished, was this God's plan all along, was this some trial to see if he was loyal to God, to see if he would break? 

James was once again lost in his thoughts, but his brain was already programmed to be alarmed by any and every sound so he stared up when the door unlocked. He clutched against the sheets hard, his knuckles turning white from the tight grip as he kept his gaze on the now-opening door. James saw his hands shaking a little but tried to stay calm. "You're awake. You've been sleeping for a while." It was Marcos. James kept his gaze on him but kept ignored his presence, not daring to answer the man. Marcos sighed as he gazed at James. "Look. I know that if I tell you how much Sebastian is sorry for what he did yesterday, you won't forgive him, but he is sorry. You can be mad all you want but at least come have dinner with us. You need to eat something, I heard the maids talk about how you only eat a little, and even then you throw most of it up, if not for yourself do this for us. You're a human and need food and water to function. " 

James wasn't sure if this man was for real or joking. He wanted him to go eat dinner with them. This must be a fucking joke. "You're jo-joking rig-right? Y-you're no-not s-serious right?" His throat was still sore as his voice cracked. James didn't speak much during the days that went after the assault so his voice was rough and still hurt to say just a few words. Marcos looked at James with a raised brow, questioning him without saying a word. James started laughing under his breath as tears pooled in his eyes and Marcos' smile dropped staring at the younger man. "I would rather starve to death than eat with you people!" He couldn't control his anger. He was seriously asking James the dumbest thing ever. He wants him to sit with his rapists! It was hard to get over Oliver but now with Sebastian, he wished to rather die than see them again. These men were fucking nuts, crazy, out of their goddamn minds if they thought that James would willingly take whatever they did to him. "James, you might have been forgiven for what you did last week but that doesn't give you the right to be rude and bitchy. Now you're gonna get up and eat with us." James scoffed.